I LEWIS CARROLL
.
THE LEWIS CARROLL
PICTURE BOOK
BOOKS.
THE TREASURE SEEKERS.
By E NESBIT. With 15 Illustrations by
GORDON BROWNE and 2 by LEWIS BAUMER.
Crown 8vo, cloth, extra gilt, gilt edges, GS.
IN PREPARATION.
New and Cheaper Edition.
THE LIFE AND LETTERS OF LEWIS
CARROLL (Rev. C. L. Dodgson).
By S DODGSON COLUNGWOOD. With 100
Illustrations.- Crown 8vo, cloth, price 3s. 6d.
Opinions of the Press.
" An entirely excellent book."
Liverpool Daily Post.
" Eminently readable and attractive. " ^ ^
" All those who love 'Alice' should make haste
to read it."— St. James's Gazette.
LONDON : T. FISHER UNWIN.
LEWIS CARROLL.
(From a photograph.)
THE LEWIS CARROLL
PICTURE BOOK
A SELECTION FROM THE
UNPUBLISHED WRITINGS
AND DRAWINGS OF LEWIS
CARROLL, TOGETHER WITH
REPRINTS FROM SCARCE AND
UNACKNOWLEDGED WORK
EDITED BY
STUART DODGSON COLLINGWOOD
B.A. CHRIST CHURCH, OXFORD
Author of
" THE LIFE AND LETTERS OF LEWIS CARROLL "
ILLUSTRATED
LEWIS CARROLL.
Aged*.
LONDON: T. FISHER UNWIN
PATERNOSTER SQUARE. -I- MDCCCXCIX
* QCT171968
[All rights reserved.]
Co
MY MOTHER
PREFACE
THIS book is primarily, as its title denotes,
a " picture book." The pictures have
been taken from many sources ; the
magazines which Lewis Carroll edited for his
brothers and sisters at Croft Rectory have
furnished a considerable number ; the innumerable
photographs which he took in his studio at Christ
Church have also been laid under contribution,
and in addition to these two main sources to which
I am principally indebted, I have collected from
all quarters illustrations bearing upon the life and
work of the author of " Alice."
Of the literary matter, much is here published
for the first time ; I would draw special attention
to " Isa's Visit to Oxford" (Chapter VII.), which
is to my thinking one of the most charming things
that Lewis Carroll ever wrote. " Notes by an
x PREFACE
Oxford Chiel," and several smaller efforts, are
reprints, the old editions having long been un-
obtainable.
I have again to thank many kind friends for
the help they have given me, and in particular
I wish to acknowledge my gratitude to the
following : Miss Dora Abdy, Mrs. Samuel
Bickersteth, Mr. A. W. Dubourg, Mrs. Fuller,
Mrs. Collier Foster, Mrs. Horniman, Miss
Longley, Mrs. Paul Mason, Rev. Walter Scott,
Mr. Lewis Sergeant, Miss Stevens, Miss Lucy
Walters, Miss Menella Wilcox, and Mrs. Chivers-
Wilson.
Two events which have occurred since the
publication of " The Life " seem to call for some
mention here ; I refer to the opening of the
" Lewis Carroll " cot at the Great Ormonde
Street Hospital for children, and to the recent
successful performance of " Alice in Wonderland"
at the Opera Comique Theatre. Both are pic-
torially commemorated in the present volume.
S. D. COLLINGWOOD.
THE CHESTNUTS, GUILDFORD.
July, 1899.
CONTENTS
PACK
PREFACE ix
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS .... Xlll
CHAPTER I.
" THE RECTORY UMBRELLA " . . .1
CHAPTER II.
"NOTES BY AN OXFORD CHIEL" . . -41
CHAPTER III.
"ALICE" ON THE STAGE . . . .161
CHAPTER IV.
AN IRRESPONSIBLE CORRESPONDENT . . -197
CHAPTER V.
CURIOSA MATHEMATICA .... 239
xi
xii CONTENTS
CHAPTER VI.
GAMES AND PUZZLES . .270
CHAPTER VII.
MISCELLANEA CARROLLIANA
APPENDIX . 361
INDEX. • • • -373
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
LEWIS CARROLI Frontispiece
(From a photograph, 1874.)
PAGE
FRONTISPIECE TO "THE RECTORY UMBRELLA" .... 2
(From ti pen-and-ink sketch by Lewis Carroll.)
" SHE DID SO ; BUT 'TIS DOUBTFUL HOW OR WHENCE " -32
(From a pen-and-ink sketch by Lewis Carroll.)
THE LATE PROFESSOR JOWETT 40
(From a photograph by kind permission of H. Hay Cameron.)
DEAN STANLEY 51
(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll, 1860.)
B. TERRY, ESQ., AND MRS. TERRY l6o
(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll, 1865.)
MISS BEADEN AS "THE ROSE* IN "ALICE IN WONDERLAND" AT
THE ROYAL OPERA COMIQUE THEATRE, LONDON, 1898 . 169
(From a photograph-by the London Stereoscopic Company.)
xiii
xiv LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
MISS IRENE VANBRUGH ....
(From a sketch by Lewis Carroll, 1887.)
PAGE
1 80
Q. F. TWISS, ESQ., CH. CH., AS " THE ARTFUL DODGER " . . I92
(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll, 1858.)
THE " LEWIS CARROLL" COT IN THE HOSPITAL FOR SICK CHILDREN,
GREAT ORMOND STEEET, BLOOMSBURY . . . . . 196
(From a photograph by Messrs. Bedford, Lemere & Co., 147, Strand, W.C.)
AN ILLUSTRATION IN " THE TWO VOICES " (A POEM REPUBLISHED
IN " RHYME ? AND REASON ? ") 2OI
(From an etching by Lewis Carroll.)
" STUDIES FROM ENGLISH POETS," NOS. I. AND II. ... 2OC
(From etchings by Lewis Carroll in " Misch-Masch.")
MISS ALICE LIDDELL (MRS. REGINALD HARGREAVES) . . . 2IO
(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll, 1870.)
MISS MARY MILLAIS (ONE OF LEWIS CARROLL'S " CHILD-FRIENDS ") 213
(From a photograph by Leivis Carroll, 1865.)
MISS KATE TERRY AS "ANDROMEDA" 2ig
(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll, 1865.)
"HIGH LIFE AND LOW LIFE" 22 ^
(From an etching by Lewis Carroll in " Misch-Masch.")
"THE DUETT" 227
(From an etching by Lewis Carroll in "Misch-Mtisch.")
MISS E. DUBOURG AND MISS K. O'REILLY 230
(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll, 1875.)
FIREPLACE IN LEWIS CARROLL'S STUDY AT CH. CH. . . . 234
(From a photograph.)
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS xv
PAGE
SIR MICHAEL HICKS-BEACH 320
(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll, 1874.)
"ALICE IN BUMBLELAND" 327
(Photographed from Sir John Tenniel's Cartoon in " Punch" March 8, 1899.)
"THE MOUSE'S TAIL" 330
(From Lewis Carroll's original design in "Alice's Adventures Underground")
A PAGE FROM THE ORIGINAL MS. OF "SCOTLAND" . . . 338
" THE QUEEN'S CROQUKT PARTY " 359
(From Lnt'is Carrots original sketch in "Alice's Adrentnres Underground")
CHAPTER I
" THE RECTORY UMBRELLA "
PEOPLE are accustomed to think of " Alice
in Wonderland" as Lewis Carroll's earliest
attempt at writing for children, but this is
a great mistake. Indeed, the polished workman-
ship of that famous tale could hardly have come
from a novice at story-telling, and one would have
been forced to believe in earlier literary efforts in
the same field even if there was no other evidence
of their having existed. But the truth is that
the author of -Alice" began to write for child-
readers when he was himself a child, and con-
tinued to do so during the whole of his school
and early college days.
His work took the form of periodicals edited
for the amusement of his brothers and sisters at
Croft ; the best account of them is that given in
2 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
the Preface to the last of the series, Misch-Masch.
Of the magazines whose rise and fall he there
describes, the only ones which still survive are
FRONTISPIECE TO " THE RECTORY UMBRELLA.
Useful and Instructive Poetry, The Rectory
Magazine, and The Rectory Umbrella.
The first two contain nothing of any permanent
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 3
interest from his pen. When one remembers that
only three or four years elapsed between the
issuing of the Magazine and of the Umbrella,
the contrast between them is most remarkable ;
Lewis Carroll's contributions to the former might,
except for their somewhat unusually pompous
and affected style, have been written by any
intelligent schoolboy ; in the latter we get the
first real exhibition of his genius, undeveloped,
of course, as yet, but none the less unmistakable
and authentic.
Nothing in The Rectory Umbrella is more
characteristic of Lewis Carroll's bent of mind
than the two papers entitled " Difficulties," which
I have thought worth reproducing in their
entirety. No one who was not by nature a
lover of logic, and an extreme precisian in the
use of words and phrases, could have written the
two " Alice " books ; their humour is not, as is, to
take a well-known instance, the humour of Max
Adeler, dependent upon a gush of unrestained
animal spirits ; it is not the humour of the child,
unconscious and funny just because it is uncon-
scious ; it is the acute sense of paradox which
revels in the most unlikely subjects, the habit
of playing with words which is built upon an
4 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
accurate conception of their proper use. In a
word, Lewis Carroll's humour is that of an
educated man ; it is fun indeed, but of the most
refined and exotic. And that is why his books,
popular as they are and as they deserve to be
among children, can only be fully appreciated by
grown-up readers.
DIFFICULTIES.
No. i.
Half of the world, or nearly so, is always in the light
of the sun : as the world turns round, this hemisphere of
light shifts round too, and passes over each part of it in
succession.
Supposing on Tuesday, it is morning at London ; in another
hour it would be Tuesday morning at the west of England ; if
the whole world were land we might go on tracing x Tuesday
morning, Tuesday morning all the way round, till in 24
hours we get to London again. But we know that at
London 24 hours after Tuesday morning it is Wednesday
morning. Where then, in its passage round the earth, does
the day change its name ? where does it lose its identity ?
Practically there is no difficulty in it, because a great part of
its journey is over water, and what it does out at sea no one
1 The best way is to imagine yourself walking round with the sun and
asking the inhabitants as you go " What morning is this ? " If you suppose
them living all the way round, and all speaking one language, the difficulty
is obvious.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 5
can tell : and besides there are so many different languages
that it would be hopeless to attempt to trace the name of any
one day all round. But is the case inconceivable that the same
land and the same language should continue all round the
world ? I cannot see that it is : in that case either J there
would be no distinction at all between each successive day,
and so week, month, &c., so that we should have to say, " The
Battle of Waterloo happened to-day, about two million hours
ago," or some line would have to be fixed, where the change
should take place, so that the inhabitant of one house would
wake and say " Heigh-ho, 2 Tuesday morning ! " and the
inhabitant of the next (over the line), a few miles to the west
would wake a few minutes afterwards and say " Heigh-ho !
Wednesday morning ! " \Vhat hopeless confusion the people
who happened to live on the line would always be in, it is not
for me to say. There would be a quarrel every morning as to
what the name of the day should be. I can imagine no third
case, unless everybody was allowed to choose for themselves,
which state of things would be rather worse than either of the
other two.
I am aware that this idea has been started before, namely,
by the unknown author of that beautiful poem beginning " If
all the world were apple pie, &c." 3 The particular result here
discussed, however, does not appear to have occurred to him,
as he confines himself to the difficulties in obtaining drink
which would certainly ensue.
Any good solution of the above difficulty will be thankfully
received and inserted.
1 This is clearly an impossible case, and is only put as an hypothesis.
2 The usual exclamation at waking ; generally said with a yawn.
3 " If all the world were apple pie,
And all the sea were ink,
And all the trees were bread and cheese,
What should we have to drink ? "
6 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
DIFFICULTIES,
No. 2.
Which is the best, a clock that is right only once a year, or
a clock that is right twice every day ? " The latter," you reply,
"unquestionably." Very good, reader, now attend.
I have two clocks : one doesn't go at all, and the other loses
a minute a day : which would you prefer? ''The losing one,"
you answer, " without a doubt." Now observe : the one which
loses a minute a day has to lose twelve hours, or seven hundred
and twenty minutes before it is right again, consequently it is
only right once in two years, whereas the other is evidently
right as often as the time it points to comes round, which
happens twice a day. So you've contradicted yourself once.
" Ah, but," you say, " what's the use of its being right twice a
day, if I can't tell when the time comes ? " Why, suppose the
clock points to eight o'clock, don't you see that the clock is
right at eight o'clock? Consequently when eight o'clock comes
your clock is right. " Yes, I see that" you reply.1 Very good,
then you've contradicted yourself tivicz : now get out of the
difficulty as you can, and don't contradict yourself again if you
can help it.
To understand the very amusing article on
" Fishs," which is one of a series of " Zoological
Papers "in The Rectory Umbrella, it must be pre-
1 You might go on to ask, " How am I to know when eight o'clock does
come? My clock will not tell me." Be patient, reader: you know that
when eight o'clock comes your clock is right ; very good ; then your rule is
this : keep your eye fixed on your clock, and the very moment it is right it
will be eight o'clock. " But — " you say. There, that'll do, reader ; the
more you argue the farther you get from the point, so it will be as well to
stop.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 7
mised that the creatures intended are those metal
fish which children float in a basin of water, using
a magnet to make them swim about.
ZOOLOGICAL PAPERS.
No. 3.
Fishs.
The facts we have collected about this strange race of
creatures are drawn partly from observation, partly from the
works of a German author whose name has not been given
to the world. We believe that they l are only to be found
in Germany : our author tells us that they have "ordinarely 2
angles 3 at them," by which they "can be fanged and heaved
out of the water." The specimens which fell under our
observation had not angles,
as will shortly be seen, and
therefore this sketch * is
founded on mere conjec-
ture.
What the " fanging "
consists of we cannot exactly say : if it is anything like a
dog "fanging" a bone, it is certainly a strange mode of
I.e., fishs. 2 As he spells it. 3 Or corners.
4 The " angles," however, may be supposed to be correct.
8
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
capture, but perhaps the writer refers to otters. The
"heaving out of the water" we have likewise attempted to
pourtray, though here again fancy is our only guide. The
reader will probably ask, " Why put a Crane into the picture ? "
Our answer is, "The only 'heaving' we ever saw done was
by a Crane."
This part of the subject, however, will be more fully treated
of in the next paper. Another fact our author gives us is
that " they will very readily swim z after the pleasing direction
of the staff " : this is easier to understand, as the simplest
reader at once perceives that the only "staff" answering to
this description is a stick of barley sugar.2
1 " Float " would be a better word, as their fins are immovable.
2 There is an objection to this solution, as " fishs " have no mouths.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 9
We will now attempt to describe the " fishs " which we
examined. Skin hard and metallic; colour brilliant, and of
many hues ; body hollow (surprising as this fact may appear, it
is perfectly true) ; eyes large and meaningless ; fins fixed and
perfectly useless. They are wonderfully light, and have a sort of
beak or snout of a metallic substance : as this is solid, and
they have no other mouth, their hollowness is thus easily
accounted for. The _
colour is sticky, and
fingers, and they can
swim back downwards
just as easily as in the usual way. All these facts prove
that they must not on any account be confounded with the
English " fishes," which the similarity of names might at first
lead us to do. They are a peculiar race of animals,1 and
must be treated as such. Our next subject will be "The
One-Winged Dove."
" Ye Fatalle Cheyse " and " Lays of Sorrow.
No. I.," are good examples of Carroll's early fond-
ness for versification ; the latter refers, no doubt,
to some incident at Croft Rectory. The lines—
" And so it fell upon a day
(That is, it never rose again,)"
are very characteristic of the misapplication of
familiar phrases in which the author of " Alice "
delighted.
1 An incorrect expression : " creatures" would be better.
io THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
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THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 13
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THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
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THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 15
The whole of the Umbrella is written in manu-
script, in that neat, exquisitely legible handwriting
which Lewis Carroll always employed, but when
we turn to Misch-Masch this is no longer the
case. Many of the poems and articles in that
miscellany had made an earlier appearance in
various periodicals, such as The Illustrated Times
and the Whitby Gazette. The extracts which
follow are placed here in the order in which they
occur in Misch-Masch, and cover a period of
about seven years (1855-1862).
PREFACE.
" Yet once more " (to use the time-honoured words of our
poet Milton) we present ourselves before an eager and expec-
tant public, let us hope under even better auspices than
hitherto.
In making our bow for the — may we venture to say so ? —
fourth time, it will be worth while to review the past, and to
consider the probable future. We are encouraged to do so by
Mrs. Malaprop's advice : " Let us not anticipate the past ; let
all our retrospections be to the future," and by the fact that our
family motto is " Respiciendo prudens"
We purpose then to give a brief history of our former
domestic magazines in this family, their origin, aim, progress,
and ultimate fate, and we shall notice, as we go on, the other
magazines which have appeared, but not under our own editor-
ship. We commence our history, then, with
16 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
USEFUL AND INSTRUCTIVE POETRY.
This we wrote ourselves about the year 1845, the idea of the
first poem being suggested by a piece in the " Etonian : " it
lasted about half a year, and was then very clumsily bound up
in a sort of volume : the binding, however, was in every respect
worthy of the contents : the volume still exists.
THE RECTORY MAGAZINE.
This was the first started for general contribution, and at
first the contributions poured in in one continuous stream,
while the issuing of each number was attended by the most
violent excitement through the whole house : most of the
family contributed one or more articles to it. About the year
1848 the numbers were bound into a volume, which still
exists.
THE COMET.
This was started by us about the year 1848. It was the same
shape as the former, but, for the sake of variety, opened at the
end instead of the side. Little interest attended this publica-
tion, and its contents were so poor, that, after 6 numbers were
out, we destroyed all but the last, and published no more. The
last number, we believe, is still in existence.
THE ROSEHUD.
This was started in imitation of the Comet, but only reached
a second number : the cover of each number was tastefully
ornamented with a painted rosebud : the two numbers do not
contain much worth notice, but are still preserved.
THE STAR.
Another imitator of the Comet, on a less ambitious scale
even than the last : the manuscript and illustrations decidedly
below par : some half-dozen numbers still survive.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 17
THE WILL-O THE-WISP.
Even inferior to the last : the numbers were cut in a trian-
gular shape : we believe some numbers are still to'be found.
THE RECTORY UMBRELLA.
This we started, we believe, in 1849 or 1850, in a ready
bound square volume. It was admired at the time, but wholly
unsupported, and it took us a year or more to fill the volume
by our own unaided efforts. The volume exists, and in good
preservation, and therefore any further account of it is
needless.
We will here notice one or two of our own writings, which have
seen more extended publicity than the above mentioned. In the
summer of 1854 we contributed two poems to the "Oxonian
Advertiser," neither at all worth preservation ; and in the Long
Vacation of the same year, when staying with a reading party
at Whitby, we contributed " The Lady of the Ladle " and
" Wilhelm von Schmitz," to the weekly Gazette of that place.
Both will be found inserted in this volume. From this subject
we hasten to the consideration of the present magazine.
MISCH-MASCH.
The name is German, and means in English " midge-madge,'
which we need not inform the intelligent reader is equivalent
to " hodge-podge " : our intention is to admit articles of every
kind, prose, verse, and pictures, provided they reach a suffi-
ciently high standard of merit.
The best of its contents will be offered at intervals to a con-
temporary magazine of a less exclusively domestic nature : we
allude to the Comic Times ; thus affording to the contributors
to this magazine an opportunity of presenting their productions
to the admiring gaze of the English Nation.
CROFT, Aug. 13, 1855.
3
•
i8
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
THE TWO BROTHERS.
There were two brothers at Twyford school,
And when they had left the place,
It was, " Will ye learn Greek and Latin ?
Or will ye run me a race ?
Or will ye go up to yonder bridge,
And there we will angle for
dace ? "
" I'm too stupid for Greek and
for Latin,
I'm too lazy by half for a race,
So I'll even go up to yonder
bridge,
And there we will angle for dace."
He has fitted together two joints of his rod,
And to them he has added another,
And then a great hook he took from his book,
And ran it right into his brother.
Oh much is the noise that is made among boys
When playfully pelting a pig,
But a far greater pother was made by his brother
When flung from the top of the brigg.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 19
The fish hurried up by the dozens,
All ready and eager to bite,
For the lad that he flung was so tender and young,
It quite gave them an appetite.
Said, "Thus shall he wallop
about
And the fish take him quite
at their ease,
For me to annoy it was ever
his joy,
Now I'll teach him the
meaning of ' Tees ' ! "
The wind to his ear brought
a voice,
"My brother you didn't
had ought ter !
And what have I done that
you think it such fun
To indulge in the pleasure
of slaughter?
" A good nibble or bite is my
chiefest delight,
When I'm merely expected
to see,
But a bite from a fish is not
quite what I wish,
When I get it performed upon me ;
And just now here's a swarm of dace at my arm,
And a perch has got hold of my knee.
20 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
" For water my thirst was not great at the first,
And of fish I have quite sufficien —
" Oh fear not ! " he cried, " for whatever betide,
We are both in the selfsame condition !
" I am sure that our state's very nearly alike
(Not considering the question of slaughter)
For I have my perch on the top of the bridge,
And you have your perch in the water.
" I stick to my perch and your perch sticks to you,
We are really extremely alike ;
I've a turn pike up here, and I very much fear
You may soon have a turn with a pike."
" Oh grant but one wish ! If I'm took by a fish
(For your bait is your brother, good man !),
Pull him up if you like, but I hope you will strike
As gently as ever you can."
" If the fish be a trout, I'm afraid there's no doubt
I must strike him like lightning that's greased ;
If the fish be a pike, I'll engage not to strike,
Till I've waited ten minutes at least."
" But in those ten minutes to desolate Fate
Your brother a victim may fall ! "
" I'll reduce it to five, so perhaps you'll survive,
But the chance is exceedingly small."
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 21
"Oh hard is your heart for to act such
a part ;
Is it iron, or granite, or steel ? "
" Why, I really can't say — it is many
a day
Since my heart was accustomed to
feel.
"Twas my heart-cherished wish for
to slay many fish,
Each day did my malice grow worse,
For my heart didn't soften with
doing it so often,
But rather, I should say, the
reverse."
"Oh would I were back at Twy-
ford school,
Learning lessons in fear of the
birch ! "
"Nay, brother!" he cried, "for
whatever betide,
You are better off here with your
perch !
•
" I am sure you'll allow you are happier now,
With nothing to do but to play ;
And this single line here, it is perfectly clear,
Is much better than thirty a day !
" And as to the rod hanging over your head,
And apparently ready to fall,
That, you know, was the case, when you lived in that place,
So it need not be reckoned at all.
22 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
" Do you see that old trout with a turn-up-nose snout?
(Just to speak on a pleasanter
theme,)
Observe, my dear brother, our
love for each other —
He's the one I like best in the stream.
" To-morro\v I mean to invite him to dine
(We shall all of us think it a treat),
If the day should he fine, I'll just drop him a /in?,
And we'll settle what time we're to meet.
" He hasn't been into society yet,
And his manners are not of the best,
So I think it quite fair that it should be my care,
To see that he's properly dressed."
Many words brought the wind of " cruel " and
"kind,"
And that " man suffers more than the brute" :
Each several word with patience he heard,
And answered with wisdom to boot.
" What ? prettier swimming in the stream,
Than lying all snugly and flat ?
Do but look at that dish filled with glittering fish,
Has Nature a picture like that ?
" What ? a higher delight to be drawn from the sight
Of fish full of life and of glee ?
What a noodle you are ! 'tis delightfuller far
To kill them than let them go free !
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 23
" I know there are people who prate by the hour
Of the beauty of earth, sky, and ocean ;
Of the birds as they fly, of the fish darting by,
Rejoicing in Life and in Motion.
" As to any delight to be got from the sight,
It is all very well for a flat,
But /think it all gammon, for hooking a salmon
Is better than twenty of that !
" They say that a man of a right-thinking mind
Will love the dumb creatures he sees—
What's the use of his mind, if he's never inclined
To pull a fish out of the Tees?
" Take my friends and my home — as an outcast I'll roam
Take the money I have in the Bank-
It is just what I wish, but deprive me o
And my life would indeed be a blank ! '
Forth from the house his sister came,
Her brothers for to see,
But when she saw that sight of awe,
The tear stood in her ee.
" Oh what bait's that upon your hook,
My brother, tell to me ? "
" It is but the fantailed pigeon,
He would not sing for me."
" Whoe'er would expect a pigeon to sing,
A simpleton he must be !
But a pigeon-cote is a different thing
To the coat that there I see ! '
24 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
" Oh what bait's that upon your hook,
My brother, tell to me ? "
" It is but the black-capped bantam,
He would not dance for me."
" And a pretty dance you are leading him
now ! "
In anger answered she,
" But a bantam's cap is a different thing
To the cap that there I see ! "
" Oh what bait's that upon your hook,
Dear brother, tell to me ? "
" It is my younger brother," he cried,
" Oh woe and dole is me !
" I's mighty wicked, that I is !
Or how could such things be ?
Farewell, farewell sweet sister,
I'm going o'er the sea."
And when will you come back again,
My brother, tell to me ? "
When chub is good for human food,
And that will never be ! "
She turned herself right round about,
And her heart brake into three,
Said, " One of the two will be wet through and through,
And 'tother'll be late for his tea ! "
CROFT, 1853.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 25
POETRY FOR THE MILLION.
The nineteenth century has produced a new school of music,
bearing about the same relation to the genuine article, which
the hash or stew of Monday does to the joint of Sunday.
We allude of course to the prevalent practice of diluting the
works of earlier composers with washy modern variations, so as
to suit the weakened and depraved taste of this generation :
this invention is termed " setting" by some, who, scorning the
handsome offer of Alexander Smith, to " set this age to music,"
have determined to set music to this age.
Sadly we admit the stern necessity that exists for such a
change : with stern prophetic eye we see looming in the shadowy
Future the downfall of the sister Fine Arts. The National
Gallery have already subjected some of their finest pictures to
this painful operation : Poetry must follow.
That we may not be behind others in forwarding the pro-
gress of Civilisation, we boldly discard all personal and private
feelings, and with quivering pen and tear-dimmed eye, we
dedicate the following composition to the Spirit of the Age,
and to that noble band of gallant adventurers, who aspire to
lead the Van in the great March of Reform.
26 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
arranged witA variations
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y rfriiie on£. miy/it T>k/« ; wtlA na.l£ an. tyt.,
iU ~~Crt.u. fr>~a /ULnt~
' can
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 27
SHE'S ALL MY FANCY PAINTED HIM
A POEM.
[This affecting fragment was found in MS. among the
papers of the well-known author of " Was it You or I ? " a
tragedy, and the two popular novels, " Sister and Son," and
" The Niece's Legacy, or the Grateful Grandfather."]
She's all my fancy painted him
(I make no idle boast) ;
If he or you had lost a limb,
Which would have suffered most ?
He said that you had been to her,
And seen me here before ;
But, in another character,
She was the same of yore.
There was not one that spoke to us,
Of all that thronged the street ;
So he sadly got into a 'bus,
And pattered with his feet.
They sent him word I had not gone
(We know it to be true) ;
If she should push the matter on,
What would become of you ?
They gave her one, they gave me two,
They gave us three or more ;
They all returned from him to you,
Though they were mine before.
28 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
If I or she should chance to be
Involved in this affair,
He trusts to you to set them free,
Exactly as we were.
It seemed to me that you had been
(Before she had this fit)
An obstacle, that came between
Him, and ourselves, and it.
Don't let him know she liked them best,
For this must ever be
A secret, kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.
The above poem is the germ of the well-
known lines which were read by the White
Rabbit at the trial of the- Knave of Hearts, and
which the King regarded as important evidence,
and attempted to explain without any very con-
spicuous success. ("Alice in Wonderland," pp.
182-187.)
PHOTOGRAPHY EXTRAORDINARY.
The recent extraordinary discovery in Photography, as applied
to the operations of the mind, has reduced the art of novel-
writing to the merest mechanical labour. We have been kindly
permitted by the artist to be present during one of his experi-
ments ; but as the invention has not yet been given to the
world, we are only at liberty to relate the results, suppressing
all details of chemicals and manipulation.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 29
The operator began by stating that the ideas of the feeblest
intellect, when once received on properly prepared paper, could
be "developed " up to any required degree of intensity. On
hearing our wish that he would begin with an extreme case, he
obligingly summoned a young man from an adjoining room,
who appeared to be of the very weakest possible physical and
mental powers. On being asked what we thought of him, we
candidly confessed that he seemed incapable of anything but
sleep; our friend cordially assented to this opinion.
The machine being in position, and a mesmeric rapport
established between the mind of the patient and the object
glass, the young man was asked whether he wished to say any-
thing ; he feebly replied " Nothing." He was then asked
what he was thinking of, and the answer, as before, was
" Nothing." The artist on this pronounced him to be in a
most satisfactory state, and at once commenced the operation.
After the paper had been exposed for the requisite time, it
was removed and submitted to our inspection ; we found it to
be covered with faint and almost illegible characters. A closer
scrutiny revealed the following : —
" The eve was soft and dewy mild ; a zephyr whispered in
the lofty glade, and a few light drops of rain cooled the thirsty
soil. At a slow amble, along the primrose-bordered path rode a
gentle-looking and amiable youth, holding a light cane in his
delicate hand ; the pony moved gracefully beneath him,
inhaling as it went the fragrance of the roadside flowers :
the calm smile, and languid eyes, so admirably harmonising
with the fair features of the rider, showed the even tenor of his
thoughts. With a sweet though feeble voice, he plaintively
murmured out the gentle regrets that clouded his breast : —
* Alas ! she would not hear my prayer !
Yet it were rash to tear my hair ;
Disfigured, I should be less fair.
30 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
' She was unwise, I may say blind ;
Once she was lovingly inclined ;
Some circumstance has changed her mind. '
There was a moment's silence; the pony stumbled over a
stone in the path, and unseated his rider. A crash was heard
among the dried leaves ; the youth arose ; a slight bruise on
his left shoulder, and a disarrangement of his cravat, were the
only traces that remained of this trifling accident."
" This," we remarked, as we returned the papers, " belongs
apparently to the milk-and-water School of Novels."
"You are quite right," our friend replied, "and, in its
present state, it is of course utterly unsaleable in the present
day : we shall find, however, that the next stage of develop-
ment will remove it into the strong-minded or Matter-of-Fact
School." After dipping it into various acids, he again sub-
mitted it to us : it had now become the following : —
" The evening was of the ordinary character, barometer at
* change ' : a wind was getting up in the wood, and some rain
was beginning to fall ; a bad look-out for the farmers. A
gentleman approached along the bridle-road, carrying a stout
knobbed stick in his hand, and mounted on a serviceable
nag, possibly worth some ^40 or so; there was a settled
business-like expression on the rider's face, and he whistled
as he rode ; he seemed to be hunting for rhymes in his head,
and at length repeated, in a satisfied tone, the following com-
position :—
* Well ! so my offer was no go !
She might do worse, I told her so ;
She was a fool to answer * No.'
' However, things are as they stood ;
Nor would I have her if I could, -*-
For there are plenty more as good.'
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 31
At this moment the horse set his foot in a hole, and rolled
over ; his rider rose with difficulty ; he had sustained several
severe bruises and fractured two ribs ; it was some time
before he forgot that unlucky day."
We returned this with the strongest expression of admira-
tion, and requested that it might now be developed to the
highest possible degree. Our friend readily consented, and
shortly presented us with the result, which he informed us
belonged to the Spasmodic or German School. We perused
it with indescribable sensations of surprise and delight :—
"The night was wildly tempestuous —a hurricane raved
through the murky forest — furious torrents of rain lashed the
groaning earth. With a headlong rush — down a precipitous
mountain gorge — dashed a mounted horseman armed to the
teeth — his horse bounded beneath him at a mad gallop,
snorting fire from its distended nostrils as it flew. The
rider's knotted brows — rolling eye-balls — and clenched teeth-
expressed the intense agony of his mind — weird visions
loomed upon his burning brain — while with a mad yell he
poured forth the torrent of his boiling passion : —
' Firebrands and daggers ! hope hath fled !
To atoms dash the doubly dead !
My brain is fire — my heart is lead !
' Her soul is flint, and what am I ?
Scorch'd by her fierce, relentless eye,
Nothingness is my destiny ! '
There was a moment's pause. Horror ! his path ended in
a fathomless abyss. ... A rush — a flash — a crash — all was
over. Three drops of blood, two teeth, and a stirrup were all
that remained to tell where the wild horseman met his doom.
32 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
The young man was now recalled to consciousness, and
shown the result of the workings of his mind ; he instantly
fainted away.
In the present infancy of the art we forbear from further
comment on this wonderful discovery; but the mind reels
as it contemplates the stupendous addition thus made to
the powers of science.
Our friend concluded with various minor experiments,
such as working up a passage of Wordsworth into strong,
sterling poetry : the same experiment was tried on a passage
of Byron, at our request, but the paper came out scorched
and blistered all over by the fiery epithets thus produced.
As a concluding remark : could this art be applied (we
put the question in the strictest confidence)— could it, we
ask, be applied to the speeches in Parliament? It may be
but a delusion of our heated imagination, but we will still
cling fondly to the idea, and hope against hope.
SHE DID SO ; BUT 'TIS DOUBTFUL HOW OR WHENCE."—
(From an etching by Lewis Carroll in " Misch-Masch.")
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 33
HINTS FOR ETIQUETTE: OR, DINING OUT
MADE EASY.
As caterers for the public taste, we can conscientiously
recommend this book to all diners-out who are perfectly un-
acquainted with the usages of society. However we may
regret that our author has confined himself to warning rather
than advice, we are bound in justice to say that nothing
here stated will be found to contradict the habits of the
best circles. The following examples exhibit a depth of
penetration and a fulness of experience rarely met with.
v,
In proceeding to the dining-room, the gentleman gives
one arm to the lady he escorts— it is unusual to offer both.
The practice of taking soup with the next gentleman but
one is now wisely discontinued ; but the custom of asking
your host his opinion of the weather immediately on the
removal of the first course still prevails.
IX.
To use a fork with your soup, intimating at the same
time to your hostess that you are reserving the spoon for
the beefsteaks, is a practice wholly exploded.
XI.
On meat being placed before you, there is no possible
objection to your eating it, if so disposed ; still in all such
delicate cases, be guided entirely by the conduct of those
around you.
4
34 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
XII.
It is always allowable to ask for artichoke jelly with your
boiled venison; however there are houses where this is not
supplied.
XIII.
The method of helping roast turkey with two carving-forks
is practicable, but deficient in grace.
XVII.
We do not recommend the practice of eating cheese with
a knife and fork in one hand, and a spoon and wine-glass
in the other ; there is a kind of awkwardness in the action
which no amount of practice can entirely dispel.
XXVI.
As a general rule, do not kick the shins of the opposite
gentleman under the table, if personally unacquainted with
him ; your pleasantry is liable to be misunderstood — a cir-
cumstance at all times unpleasant.
XXVII.
Proposing the health of the boy in buttons immediately
on the removal of the cloth, is a custom springing from
regard to his tender years, rather than from a strict adherence
to the rules of etiquette.
LAYS OF MYSTERY, IMAGINATION, AND
HUMOUR.
No. i.
The Palace oj Humbug. (For the end of 1855.)
I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls,
And each damp thing that creeps and crawls
Went wobble-wobble on the walls.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 35
Faint odours of departed cheese,
Blown on the dank, unwholesome breeze,
Awoke the never-ending sneeze.
Strange pictures decked the arras drear,
Strange characters of woe and fear,
The humbugs of the social sphere.
One showed a vain and noisy prig,
That shouted empty words and big
At him that nodded in a wig.
And one, a dotard grim and grey,
Who wasteth childhood's happy day
In work more profitless than play.
Whose icy breast no pity warms,
Whose little victims sit in swarms,
And slowly sob on lower forms.
And one, a green thyme-honoured Bank,
Where flowers are growing wild and rank,
Like weeds that fringe a poisoned tank.
All birds of evil omen there
Flood with rich Notes the tainted air,
The witless wanderer to snare.
The fatal Notes neglected fall,
No creature heeds the treacherous call,
For all those goodly Strawn Baits Pall.
The wandering phantom broke and fled,
Straightway I saw within my head
A Vision of a ghostly bed,
36 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Where lay two worn decrepit men,
The fictions of a lawyer's pen,
Who never more might breathe again.
The serving-man of Richard Roe
Wept, inarticulate with woe :
She wept, that waited on John Doe.
" Oh rouse," I urged, " the waning sense
" With tales of tangled evidence,
"Of suit, demurrer, and defence."
" Vain," she replied, " such mockeries :
" For morbid fancies, such as these,
" No suits can suit, no plea can please.'
And bending o'er that man of straw,
She cried in grief and sudden awe,
Not inappropriately, " Law ! "
The well-remembered voice he knew,
He smiled, he faintly muttered " Sue ! "
(Her very name was legal too.)
The night was fled, the dawn was nigh :
A hurricane went raving by,
And swept the Vision from mine eye.
Vanished that dim and ghostly bed,
(The hangings, tape ; the tape was red :)
Tis o'er, and Doe and Roe are dead !
Oh yet my spirit inly crawls,
What time it shudderingly recalls
That horrid dream of marble halls !
OXFORD, 1855
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 37
Every reader of 4t Through the Looking-
Glass " will recognise the following " Stanza of
Anglo-Saxon Poetry/' for it is the burden of the
immortal " Jabberwocky." It is interesting to
compare the commentary given here with the
derivations suggested by Humpty Dumpty.
("Through the Looking-Glass," pp. 126-129.)
5TAJV2A OF AK6LO- SAXON POETRY
IH y"
flu. miw^y WEHB yc
KH> y"
Lurteua {rAfTnurtf- Tt<ntl ihiLS in ^rnedtrn. ck ar Ae.ter~*
TWAS B^LYXLY^ , A^J> THE
DID GYftE AIO GYJVt8£.£ IKf Q THt;
AXL
/13V
1 tt mtJTwns o/ t/ft tvarefs £rt
'f lr»ili<Lf ^ntzr, i.e. Ut e.l0fe. 0-f tL iffcrn
5LYT>fT ((.ojn.poiLnJ.tjL oi SLTMV an^ ItLTftE ).
38 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
legs, W short liorn* -^*« a ***£ > li"ui ^4*<^y •*•
V«rb (dental front. 6yA0t/.R or GIAOUR , " a <*0g') "
a dog"
GYVtB
(<Ltnv<JL fnm Vie. v^rfc & SWAtf *r b^AK > ' Rf
f /r*m d£ feting Sajl^. j!>y ^ r^in >
(yoktntt. TVTUVrS r RABI^-E 4 W ^V 15 £KA8 r. E ) "Mn
up
071 VtiJ
IRATK. A Sptaes <*f 'la** turtle. Ht^cL <irtt* rnoutfL Lit a
Art Lf* curved, ou* so tA^/* Hit unuxal wjlkeJ on
( * t*
It" \t/A .
3nl bfring helt* In. UM. fuU sutt • 3L' ujJiapfry were. -fj
A* A ~i4c "
Tkt7* were. vfob&blv sust ^uJs oft iA* ta& t>£ ftU /{«//
'• bjrye'vrf** iv^ra afraid tfut their ntsts WOK.?* he
!£ 4<i/ u,34 f>rt>f3J*>ly /„// ^ -/^ /i*.^ ,# "r if Ad " V fliti T«l»l
6 a'*g •ore-i
rcJic o/
PROFESSOR JOWETT.
(From a photograph by Mr. Hay Cameron.)
CHAPTER II
" NOTKS BY AN OXFORD CHIEL "
UNDER the above title Lewis Carroll
issued in 1874 a collection of papers
on Oxford matters which had appeared
in separate form at various periods between 1865-
1874. The volume has been long out of print,
which is the more to be regretted as it contains
some very brilliant writing, and the humour,
which is apparent on almost every page, has
lost but little of its force. However, as many
of my readers will not, in all probability, be suffi-
ciently conversant with Oxford affairs thirty years
ago to fully appreciate these jeux cf esprit without
some explanations, a short introduction, kindly
supplied by my friend Mr. Lewis Sergeant, is
prefixed to each of the papers.
It only remains to add that the present is a
42 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
reprint of the 1874 edition, which was originally
published in one volume by Mr. James Parker of
Oxford.
THE NEW METHOD OF EVALUATION
AS APPLIED TO n.
[The year 1865, when this playful reflex of
academic affairs at Oxford was originally printed,
found the University keenly interested in the case
of Mr. Jowett, Regius Professor of Greek. The
shabby treatment of the professor was matter
of frequent comment in the public press. The
details of this case are sufficiently familiar. It
was early in the year 1865, ten years after the
appointment of Jowett by Lord Palmerston,
that the Dean and Chapter of Christ Church
resolved to increase the salary of the professor-
ship to ^500. They had previously sought the
opinion of counsel, according to which they were
under no obligation to pay the Regius Professor
more than ^40 ; but their resolution to pay the
larger sum was taken, as they declared, <l on
grounds of general expediency."
" The New Method " is to a large extent self-
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 43
explanatory. The n which it is required to
evaluate stands for the proper payment to be
assigned to Jowett. " Penrhyn's Method" refers,
of course, to the action taken by Arthur Penrhyn
Stanley : his " transformation into a new scale of
notation," from the senary to the denary, signifies
his appointment as Dean of Westminster in 1864.
The 4< senary " may be an indirect allusion to
Stanley's repeated travels, and the many " beau-
tiful expressions " to the charming books in which
he described them. His " exhaustive process for
extracting the value of n in a series of terms, by
repeated divisions " signifies the persistence with
which Stanley challenged the opinion of the
University in the interests of Jowett.
The process of appealing to reason involved
" the breaking up of U (the University) into its
partial factions." Pusey and Liddon appear as
E. B. P. and H. P. L. Pusey, though one of the
keenest opponents of Jowett on the question of
religious orthodoxy, accepted the decision of the
Chancellor's court, that a professor's theological
teaching could not be impugned unless it was
given in his lectures as a professor ; he therefore
voted in 1864 for the endowment of the chair by
the University, and, this failing, he helped to pro-
44 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
mote the arrangement by which Christ Church
found the necessary money. The " Patristic
Catenary " was the edition of the Fathers on
which Pusey had been engaged with others of
the High Church school. The " Essays and
Reviews," to which Jowett had contributed, were
published in 1861 ; but they came into fresh pro-
minence in 1864, after the reversal of the decree
of the Court of Arches against Messrs. Williams
and Wilson by the final Court of Appeal. The
H. G. L. of the concluding chapter was the Dean
of Christ Church ; and possibly 0 (H. G. L.) may
be taken as a gentle remonstrance with the Head
of the House for yielding to pressure, and sacri-
ficing "moral obligation " to "expediency."]
THE NEW METHOD
OF
EVALUATION
AS APPLIED TO n
" Little Jack Homer
Sat in a corner,
Eating his Christmas Pie."
FIRST POINTED IN 1865
©iforlt :
JAMES PARKER AND CO.
1874-
CONTENTS.
INTRODUCTORY.
I. RATIONALISATION.
II. METHOD OF INDIFFERENCES.
III. PENRHYN'S METHOD.
IV. ELIMINATION OF J.
V. EVALUATION UNDER PRESSURE
THE NEW METHOD OF EVALUATION
AS APPLIED TO TT.
The problem of evaluating ?r, which has en-
gaged the attention of mathematicians from the
earliest ages, had, down to our own time, been
considered as purely arithmetical. It was re-
served for this generation to make the discovery
that it is in reality a dynamical problem ; and the
true value of TT, which appeared an ignis fatuus
to our forefathers, has been at last obtained under
pressure.
The following are the main data of the
problem :
Let U =the University, G = Greek, and P =
Professor. Then GP = Greek Professor; let
this be reduced to its lowest terms, and call the
result J.
Also let W = the work done, T = the Times,
/ = the given payment, 7r = the payment according
to T, and S = the sum required ; so that ?r = S.
The problem is, to obtain a value for n which
shall be commensurable with W.
In the early treatises on this subject, the mean
47
48 THE LEWIS CARROLL 'PICTURE BOOK
value assigned to ?r will be found to be 40.000000.
Later writers suspected that the decimal point
had been accidentally shifted, and that the proper
value was 400.00000 ; but, as the details of the
process for obtaining it had been lost, no further
progress was made in the subject till our own
time, though several most ingenious methods
were tried for solving the problem.
Of these methods we proceed to give some
brief account. Those chiefly worthy of note
appear to be Rationalisation, the Method of
Indifferences, Penrhyn's Method, and the Method
of Elimination.
We shall conclude with an account of the great
discovery of our own day, the Method of Evalua-
tion under Pressure.
I. — RATIONALISATION.
The peculiarity of this process consists in its
affecting all quantities alike with a negative sign.
To apply it, let H = High Church, and L = Low
Church then the geometric mean = v/HL: call
this "B" (Broad Church).
.'. HL=B2.
Also let x and y represent unknown quantities
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 49
The process now requires the breaking up of
U into its partial factions, and the introduction
of certain combinations. Of the two principal
factions thus formed, that corresponding with P
presented no further difficulty, but it appeared
hopeless to rationalise the other.
A rcductio adabsurdum was therefore attempted,
and it was asked, "Why should TT not be evalu-
ated ? " The great difficulty now was, to dis-
cover y.
Several ingenious substitutions and transforma-
tions were then resorted to, with a view to
simplifying the equation, and it was at one time
asserted, though never actually proved, that the
ys were all on one side. However, as repeated
trials produced the same irrational result, the
process was finally abandoned.
1 1. --THE METHOD OF INDIFFERENCES.
This was a modification of " the method of
finite Differences," and may be thus briefly
described :—
Let E = Essays, and R = Reviews : then the
locus of (E + R), referred to multilinear co-
ordinates, will be found to be a superficies (i.e.,
5
50 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
a locus possessing length and breadth, but no
depth). Let v = novelty, and assume (E + R)
as a function of v.
Taking this superficies as the plane of reference,
we get —
... EB = B2=HL (by the last article).
Multiplying by P, EBP = HPL.
It was now necessary to investigate the locus
of EBP: this was found to be a species of
Catenary, called the Patristic Catenary, which is
usually defined as "passing through origen, and
containing many multiple points." The locus of
HPL will be found almost entirely to coincide
with this.
Great results were expected from the assump-
tion of (E + R) as a function of v: but the
opponents of this theorem, having actually suc-
ceeded in demonstrating that the v-element did
not even enter into the function, it appeared hope-
less to obtain any real value of ?r by this method.
III. — PENRHYN'S METHOD.
This was an exhaustive process for extracting
the value of TT, in a series of terms, by repeated
DEAN STANLEY.
(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll.)
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 53
divisions. The series so obtained appeared to
be convergent, but the residual quantity was
always negative, which of course made the pro-
cess of extraction impossible.
This theorem was originally derived from a
radical series in Arithmetical Progression : let us
denote the series itself by A. P., and its sum by
(A.P.)S. It was found that the function (A.P.)S.
entered into the above process, in various forms.
The experiment was therefore tried of trans-
forming (A.P.)S. into a new scale of notation ; it
had hitherto been, through a long series of terms,
entirely in the senary, in which scale it had
furnished many beautiful expressions : it was now
transformed into the denary.
Under this modification, the process of division
was repeated, but with the old negative result ;
the attempt was therefore abandoned, though not
without a hope that future mathematicians, by
introducing a number of hitherto undetermined
constants, raised to the second degree, might
succeed in obtaining a positive result.
IV. — ELIMINATION OF J.
It had long been perceived that the chief
obstacle to the evaluation of IT was the presence
54 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
of J, and in an earlier age of mathematics J
would probably have been referred to rectangular
axes, and divided into two unequal parts — a
process of arbitrary elimination which is now
considered not strictly legitimate.
It was proposed, therefore, to eliminate J by an
appeal to the principle known as "the permanence
of equivalent formularies :" this, however, failed
on application, as J became indeterminate. Some
advocates of the process would have preferred
that J should be eliminated " in toto" The
classical scholar need hardly be reminded that
" toto" is the ablative of ' ' tiuntum, " and that
this beautiful and expressive phrase embodied
the wish that J should be eliminated by a com-
pulsory religious examination.
It was next proposed to eliminate J by means
of a " canonisant." The chief objection to this
process was, that it would raise J to an in-
conveniently high power, and would after all
only give an irrational value for TT.
Other processes, which we need not here
describe, have been suggested for the evaluation
of TT. One was that it should be treated as a
given quantity: this theory was supported by
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 55
many eminent men, at Cambridge and elsewhere ;
but, on application, J was found to exhibit a
negative sign, which of course made the evaluation
impossible.
We now proceed to describe the modern
method, which has been crowned with brilliant
and unexpected success, and which may be defined
as—
V. — EVALUATION UNDER PRESSURE.
Mathematicians had already investigated the
locus of HPL, and had introduced this function
into the calculation, but without effecting the
desired evaluation, even when HPL was trans-
ferred to the opposite side of the equation with
a change of sign. The process we are about to
describe consists chiefly in the substitution of
G for P, and the application of pressure.
Let the function tf> (HGL) be developed into
a series, and let the sum of this be assumed as
a perfectly rigid body, moving in a fixed line :
let " ju " be the coefficient of moral- obligation,
and "e" the expediency. Also let "F" be
a Force acting equally in all directions, and
varying inversely as T : let A = Able, and
E = Enlightened.
56 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
We have now to develope <t> (HGL) by
Maclaurin's Theorem.
The function itself vanishes when the variable
vanishes :
/.£., 0(°) = O.
0'(o) = Q (a prime constant).
f"(o) = 2.3.H.
0«"(o) = 2.3.4.8.
r"(°) = 2-34-5.P-
0"""(°) = 2.3.4.5.6.;.
after which the quantities recur in the same
order.
The above proof is taken from the learned
treatise " August i dc fallibilitatc historicorum"
and occupies an entire Chapter : the evaluation
of TT is given in the next Chapter. The author
takes occasion to point out several remarkable
properties possessed by the above series, the
existence of which had hardly been suspected
before.
This series is a function of /* and of e : but,
when it is considered as a body it will be found
that /* = o, and that e only remains.
We now have the equation—
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 57
The summation of this gave a minimum value
for TT : this, however, was considered only as
a first approximation, and the process was re-
peated under pressure EAF, which gave to *
a partial maximum value ; by continually in-
creasing EAF, the result was at last obtained,
7T= S = 500.00000.
This result differs considerably from the
anticipated value, namely, 400.00000 : still there
can be no doubt that the process has been
correctly performed, and that the learned world
may be congratulated on the final settlement of
this most difficult problem.
THE END.
THE DYNAMICS OF A PARTI CLE.
[This is perhaps the best known, and in some
respects the wittiest, of Mr. Dodgson's Oxford
" Notes." The definitions, postulates, and axioms,
as well as the " Dynamics of a Particle," will be
familiar to many, and they arose out of circum-
stances which excited the University even more
than the disputation over Jowett. In 1865 Mr.
Gladstone was defeated at Oxford, after having
represented his University in the House of
Commons for eighteen years. The candidates,
who appear in the following pages by their
initials, were Sir W. Heathcote, Mr. Gathorne
Hardy, and Mr. Gladstone. The polling ex-
tended over a week. On the third day Mr.
Hardy led Mr. Gladstone by 230 ; but, after a
strong appeal and rally on behalf of the Liberals,
the final majority was no more than 180. The
total number of voters was nearly twice as large
as on any previous occasion — " whereby, the
entry of the Convocation House being blocked
up, men could pass neither in nor out."]
THE DYNAMICS
OF A
PARTI-CLE.
"'Tis strange the mind, that very fiery particle,
Should let itself be snuff'd out by an article."
FJXST PRINTED IN 1865.
JAMES PARKER AND CO.
1874.
INTRODUCTION.
' It was a lovely Autumn evening, and the
glorious effects of chromatic aberration were
beginning to show themselves in the atmosphere
as the earth revolved away from the great western
luminary, when two lines might have been
observed wending their weary way across a plain
superficies. The elder of the two had by long
practice acquired the art, so painful to young
and impulsive loci, of lying evenly between her
extreme points ; but the younger, in her girlish
impetuosity, was ever longing to diverge and
become an hyperbola or some such romantic and
boundless curve. They had lived and loved :
fate and the intervening superficies had hitherto
kept them asunder, but this was no longer to be :
a line had intersected them, making the two
interior angles together less than two right angles.
It was a moment never to be forgotten, and, as
they journeyed on, a whisper thrilled along the
superficies in isochronous waves of sound, "Yes!
We shall at length meet if continually produced! " '
(Jacobi's Course of Mathematics, Chap. I.)
We have commenced with the above quotation
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 61
as a striking illustration of the advantage of intro-
ducing the human element into the hitherto barren
region of Mathematics. Who shall say what
germs of romance, hitherto unobserved, may not
underlie the subject? Who can tell whether the
parallelogram, which in our ignorance we have
defined and drawn, and the whole of whose
properties we profess to know, may not be all the
while panting for exterior angles, sympathetic
with the interior, or sullenly repining at the fact
that it cannot be inscribed in a circle ? What
mathematician has ever pondered over an
hyperbola, mangling the unfortunate curve with
lines of intersection here and there, in his efforts
to prove some property that perhaps after all is a
mere calumny, who has not fancied at last that the
ill-used locus was spreading out its asymptotes as
a silent rebuke, or winking one focus at him in
contemptuous pity ?
In some such spirit as this we have compiled
the following pages. Crude and hasty as they
are, they yet exhibit some of the phenomena of
light, or " enlightenment," considered as a force,
more fully than has hitherto been attempted by
other writers.
June, 1865.
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I.
GENERAL CONSIDERATIONS.
Definitions.
Postulates.
Axioms.
Methods of Voting.
On Representation.
CHAPTER II.
DYNAMICS OF A PARTICLE.
Introductory.
Definitions.
On Differentiation.
Propositions.
CHAPTER L
GENERAL CONSIDERATIONS.
DEFINITIONS.
i.
PLAIN SUPERFICIALITY is the character of a
speech, in which any two points being taken, the
speaker is found to lie wholly with regard to those
two points.
ii.
PLAIN ANGER is the inclination of two voters to
one another, who meet together, but whose views
are not in the same direction.
in.
When a Proctor, meeting another Proctor,
makes the votes on one side equal to those on
the other, the feeling entertained by each side is
called RIGHT ANGER.
IV.
When two parties, coming together, feel a
Right Anger, each is said to be COMPLEMENTARY
to the other, (though, strictly speaking, this is very
seldom the case).
64 THE LEWIS CARROLL] PICTURE BOOK
v.
OBTUSE ANGER is that which is greater than
Right Anger.
POSTULATES.
i.
Let it be granted, that a speaker may digress
from any one point to any other point.
•
II.
That a finite argument, (i.e., one finished and
disposed of,) may be produced to any extent in
subsequent debates.
in.
That a controversy may be raised about any
question, and at any distance from that question.
AXIOMS.
I.
Men who go halves in the same (quart) are
(generally) equal to another.
ii.
Men who take a double in the same (term) are
equal to anything.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 65
ON VOTING.
The different methods of voting are as follows :
i.
ALTERNANDO, as in the case of Mr. - — , who
voted for and against Mr. Gladstone, alternate
elections.
ii.
INVERTENDO, as was done by Mr. - — , who
came all the way from Edinburgh to vote, handed
in a blank voting paper, and so went home re-
joicing.
in.
COMPONENDO, as was done by Mr. - — , whose
name appeared on both committees at once,
whereby he got great praise from all men, by the
space of one day.
IV.
DIVIDENDO, as in Mr. - -'s case, who, being
sorely perplexed in his choice of candidates, voted
for neither.
v.
CONVERTENDO, as was wonderfully exemplified
by Messrs. — - and - — , who held a long and
fierce argument on the election, in which, at the
6
66 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
end of two hours, each had vanquished and con
verted the other.
VI.
Ex ^LQUALI IN PROPORTIONE PERTURBATA SEU
INORDINATA, as in the election, when the result
was for a long time equalised, and as it were held
in the balance, by reason of those who had first
voted on the one side seeking to pair off with
those who had last arrived on the other side, and
those who were last to vote on the one side being
kept out by those who had first arrived on the
other side, whereby, the entry to the Convo-
cation House being blocked up, men could pass
neither in nor out.
ON REPRESENTATION.
Magnitudes are algebraically represented by
letters, men by men of letters, and so on. The
following are the principal systems of representa-
tion :—
1. CARTESIAN : i.e., by means of "cartes."
This system represents lines well, sometimes too
well ; but fails in representing points, particularly
good points.
2. POLAR : i.e., by means of the 2 poles,
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 67
" North and South." This is a very uncertain
system of representation, and one that cannot
safely be depended upon.
3. TRILINEAR : i e., by means of a line which
takes 3 different courses. Such a line is usually
expressed by three letters, as W.E.G.
That the principle of Representation was known
to the ancients is abundantly exemplified by
Thucydides, who tells us that the favourite cry of
encouragement during a trireme race was that
touching allusion to Polar Co-ordinates which is
still heard during the races of our own time,
"/»5, p6, cos #, they're gaining !"
CHAPTER II.
DYNAMICS OF A PARTICLE.
Particles are logically divided according to
GENIUS and SPEECHES.
GENIUS is the higher classification, and this,
combined with DIFFERENTIA (i.e., difference of
opinion), produces SPEECHES. These again
naturally divide themselves into three heads.
68 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Particles belonging to the great order of GENIUS
are called " able " or t( enlightened."
DEFINITIONS.
i.
A SURD is a radical whose meaning cannot be
exactly ascertained. This class comprises a very
]arge number of particles.
ii.
INDEX indicates the degree, or power, to which
a particle is raised. It consists of two letters,
placed to the right of the symbol representing the
particle. Thus, 4' A. A." signifies the oth degree ;
" B.A." the ist degree ; and so on, till we reach
" M.A." the 2nd degree (the intermediate letters
indicating fractions of a degree) ; the last two
usually employed being " R.A." (the reader
need hardly be reminded of that beautiful line in
The Princess " Go dress yourself, Dinah, like a
gorgeous R.A.") and " S.A." This last indicates
the 36oth degree, and denotes that the particle in
question (which is 1th part of the function E + R
" Essays and Reviews ") has effected a complete
revolution, and that the result = o.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 69
III.
MOMENT is the product of the mass into the
velocity. To discuss this subject fully, would
lead us too far into the subject Vis Viva, and we
must content ourselves with mentioning the fact
that no moment is ever really lost, by fully en-
lightened Particles. It is scarcely necessary to
quote the well-known passage : " Every moment,
that can be snatched from academical duties, is
devoted to furthering the cause of the popular
Chancellor of the Exchequer." (Clarendon,
" History of the Great Rebellion.")
IV.
A COUPLE consists of a moving particle, raised
to the degree M.A., and combined with what is
technically called a "better half." The following
are the principal characteristics of a Couple :
(i) It may be easily transferred from point to
point. (2) Whatever force of translation was
possessed by the uncombined particle (and this is
often considerable), is wholly lost when the Couple
is formed. (3) The two forces constituting the
Couple habitually act in opposite directions.
70 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
ON DIFFERENTIATION.
The effect of Differentiation on a Particle is
very remarkable, the first Differential being fre-
quently of a greater value than the original
Particle, and the second of less enlightenment.
For example, let L = " Leader," S = " Satur-
day," and then L.S. = " Leader in the Saturday"
(a particle of no assignable value). Differen-
tiating once, we get L.S.D., a function of great
value. Similarly it will be found that, by taking
the second Differential of an enlightened Particle
(i.e., raising it to the degree D.D.), the enlighten-
ment becomes rapidly less. The effect is much
increased by the addition of a C : in this case
the enlightenment often vanishes altogether, and
the Particle becomes conservative.
It should be observed that, whenever the
symbol L is used to denote " Leader," it must
be affected with the sign ± : this serves to
indicate that its action is sometimes positive and
sometimes negative — some particles of this class
having the property of drawing others after
them (as "a Leader of an army"), and others
of repelling them (as "a Leader of the
Times ").
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 71
PROPOSITIONS.
Prop. I. Pr.
To find the value of a given Examiner.
Example. — A takes in ten books in the Final
Examination, and gets a 3rd Class : B takes in
the Examiners, and gets a 2nd. Find the value
of the Examiners in terms of books. Find also
their value in terms in which no Examination is
held.
Prop. II. Pr.
To estimate Profit and Loss.
Example. — Given a Derby Prophet, who has
sent three different winners to three different
betting men, and given that none of the three
horses are placed. Find the total Loss incurred
by the three men (a) in money, ()3) in temper.
Find also the Prophet. Is this latter generally
possible ?
Prop. III. Pr.
To estimate the direction of a line.
Example. — Prove that the definition of a line,
according to Walton, coincides with that of
Salmon, only that they begin at opposite ends.
72 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
If such a line be divided by Frost's method, find
its value according to Price.
Prop. IV. Th.
The end (i.e., " the product of the extremes,")
justifies (i.e., "is equal to " —see Latin "aequus,")
the means.
No example is appended to this Proposition,
for obvious reasons.
Prop. V. Pr.
To continue a given series.
Example. — A and B, who are respectively
addicted to Fours and Fives, occupy the same
set of rooms, which is always at Sixes and Sevens.
Find the probable amount of reading done by A
and B while the Eights are on.
We proceed to illustrate this hasty sketch of
the Dynamics of a Parti-cle, by demonstrating
the great Proposition on which the whole theory
of Representation depends, namely, " To remove
a given Tangent from a given Circle, and to bring
another given Line into Contact with it."
To work the following problem algebraically,
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 73
it is best to let the circle be represented as re-
ferred to its two tangents, i.e., first to WEG,
WH, and afterwards to WH, GH. When this
is effected, it will be found most convenient to
project WEG to infinity. The process is not
given here in full, since it requires the introduc-
tion of many complicated determinants.
Prop. VI. Pr.
To remove a given Tangent from a given
Circle, and to bring another given Line into
contact with it.
Let UN IV be a Large Circle, whose centre is
O (V being, of course, placed at the top), and let
WGH be a triangle, two of whose sides, WEG
and WH, are in contact with the circle, while
GH (called "the base" by liberal mathema-
74 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
ticians,) is not in contact with it. (See Fig. T.)
It is required to destroy the contact of WEG,
and to bring GH into contact instead.
Let I be the point of maximum illumination of
the circle, and therefore E the point of maximum
enlightenment of the triangle. (E of course
varying perversely as the square of the distance
from O).
Let WH be fixed absolutely, and remain
always in contact with the circle, and let the
direction of OI be also fixed.
Now, so long as WEG preserves a perfectly
straight course, GH cannot possibly come into
contact with the circle ; but if the force of illumi-
nation, acting along OI, cause it to bend (as in
Fig. 2), a partial revolution on the part of WEG
and GH is effected, WEG ceases to touch the
circle, and GH is immediately brought into con-
tact with it. Q.E.F.
The theory involved in the foregoing Proposi-
tion is at present much controverted, and its
supporters are called upon to show what is the
fixed point, or "locus standi" on which they pro-
pose to effect the necessary revolution. To make
this clear, we must go to the original Greek, and
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 75
remind our readers that the true point or " locus
standi " is in this case ap&e, (or a/o&c according to
modern usage), and therefore must not be assigned
to WEG. In reply to this it is urged that, in a
matter like the present, a single word cannot be
considered a satisfactory explanation, such as
It should also be observed that the revolution
here discussed is entirely the effect of enlighten-
ment, since particles, when illuminated to such an
extent as actually to become #we, are always
found to diverge more or less widely from each
other; though undoubtedly the radical force of the
word is "union" or "friendly feeling." The
reader will find in " Liddell and Scott " a remark-
able illustration of this, from which it appears to
be an essential condition that the feeling should
be entertained QopaSriv, and that the particle enter-
taining it should belong to the genus O-KOTOC, and
should therefore be, nominally at least, unen-
lightened.
THE END.
FACTS, FIGURES, AND FANCIES.
[The occasions of the three following papers
are adequately explained by the Introductory
matter prefixed to them by the Author. The
notes to the first poetical epistle suffice to make
its allusions clear. I will merely add that " C for
Chairman " means the " see " of Chester for Dr.
Jacobson, a distinguished Liberal who had been
chairman of Mr. Gladstone's election committee.
" The Deserted Parks," in form a parody on
" The Deserted Village," is a half serious
protest against the over-encouragement of sports
and ends with an appeal for the votes of indepen-
dent electors against the proposed decree.]
7'
FACTS, FIGURES, AND
FANCIES,
RELATING TO
THE ELECTIONS TO THE HEBDOMADAL
COUNCIL,
THE OFFER OF THE CLARENDON
TRUSTEES,
AND
THE PROPOSAL TO CONVERT THE PARKS
INTO CRICKET-GROUNDS.
Thrice the hrinded cat hath mewed."
FIRST PRINTED IN 1866-1868.
©iforfc :
JAMES PARKER AND CO.
1874.
INTRODUCTORY.
§ I. THE ELECTIONS TO THE HEBDOMADAL COUNCIL.
In the year 1866, a Letter with the above title was published
in Oxford, addressed to the Senior Censor of Christ Church,
with the twofold object of revealing to the University a vast
political misfortune which it had unwittingly encountered, and
of suggesting a remedy which should at once alleviate the
bitterness of the calamity and secure the sufferers from its re-
currence. The misfortune thus revealed was no less than the
fact that, at a recent election of Members to the Hebdomadal
Council, tivo Conservatives had been chosen, thus giving a
Conservative majority in the Council ; and the remedy sug-
gested was a sufficiently sweeping one, embracing, as it did,
the following details : —
1. "The exclusion" (from Congregation) "of the non-
academical elements which form a main part of the strength
of this party domination." These " elements " are afterwards
enumerated as " the parish clergy and the professional men
of the city, and chaplains who are without any academical
occupation."
2. The abolition of the Hebdomadal Council.
3. The abolition of the legislative functions of Convoca-
tion.
These are all the main features of this remarkable scheme of
Reform, unless it be necessary to add
4. "To preside over a Congregation with full legislative
powers, the Vice-Chancellor ought no doubt to be a man of
real capacity."
But it would be invidious to suppose that there was any
intention of suggesting this as a novelty.
The following rhythmical version of the Letter developes
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 79
its principles to an extent which possibly the writer had never
contemplated.
§ II. THE OFFER OF THE CLARENDON TRUSTEES.
Letter from Mr. Gladstone to the Vice- Chancellor.
DEAR MR. VICE-CHANCELLOR, — The Clarendon Trustees
. . are ready, in concert with the University, to consider of
the best mode of applying the funds belonging to them for
"adding to the New Museum Physical Laboratories and other
accommodation requisite for the department of Experimental
Philosophy.'' . . .
I have the honour to remain,
Dear Mr. Vice-Chancellor,
Very faithfully yours,
May 3, 1867. W. E. GLADSTONE.
The following passages are quoted from a paper which
appeared on the subject.
" As Members of Convocation are called upon to consider
the offer of the Clarendon Trustees, to employ the funds at
their disposal in the erection of additional buildings to facili-
tate the study of Physics, they may perhaps find it useful to
have a short statement of the circumstances which render
additional buildings necessary, and of the nature of the
accommodation required."
"Again, it is often impossible to carry on accurate Physical
experiments in close contiguity to one another, owing to their
mutual interference ; and consequently different processes need
different rooms, in which these delicate instruments, which
8o THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
are always required in a particular branch of science, have to
be carefully and permanently fixed."
" It may be sufficient, in order to give an idea of the number
of rooms required, to enumerate the chief branches of Physics
which require special accommodation, owing to their mutual
interference.
(1) Weighing and measuring.
(2) Heat.
(3) Radiant Heat.
(4) Dispersion of Light. Spectrum Analysis, &c.
(5) General optics.
(6) Statical electricity.
(7) Dynamical electricity.
(8) Magnetism.
(9) Acoustics.
Of these, (5) requires one large room or three smaller rooms,
and these, together with those devoted to (3) and (4), should
have a south aspect. Besides the fixed instruments, there is
a large quantity of movable apparatus, which is either used
with them or employed in illustrating lectures ; and this must
be carefully preserved from causes of deterioration when not
in use ; for this purpose a large room fitted with glass cases is
required. A store-room for chemicals and other materials
used is also necessary."
" As Photography is now very much employed in multiply-
ing results of observation, in constructing diagrams for lec-
tures, &c., and as it is in fact a branch of Physics, a small
Photographic room is necessary, both for general use and for
studying the subject itself."
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 81
§ III. THE PROPOSAL TO CONVERT THE PARKS INTO
CRICKET-GROUNDS.
Notice from the Vice-Chancellor.
" A form of Decree to the following effect will be pro-
posed :—
" i. That the Curators of the Parks be authorised to receive
applications from Members of the University for Cricket-
grounds in the Parks, and that public notice be issued to that
effect, a time being fixed within which applications are to be
sent in.
" 2. That at the expiration of such time the Curators be
authorised to make Cricket-grounds, and allot them to Cricket-
clubs or Colleges from which applications have been received,
according to priority of application. . . .
" F. K. LEIGHTON,
" Vice-Chancellor.
" April 29, 1867."
THE ELECTIONS TO THE HEBDOMADAL
COUNCIL.
" Now is the winter of our discontent." '
" HEARD ye the arrow hurtle in the sky ?
Heard ye the dragon-monster's deathful cry ? "-
Excuse this sudden burst of the Heroic ;
The present state of things would vex a Stoic !
And just as Sairey Gamp, for pains within,
Administered a modicum of gin,
So does my mind, when vexed and ill at ease,
Console itself with soothing similes.
1 Dr. Wynter, President of St. John's, one of the recently elected Con-
servative members of Council.
82 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
The " dragon -monster " (pestilential schism !)
I need not tell you is Conservatism ;
The " hurtling arrow " (till we find a better)
Is represented by the present Letter.
Twas, I remember, but the other day,
Dear Senior Censor, that you chanced to say
You thought these party-combinations would
Be found, " though needful, no unmingled good. '
Unmingled good ? They are unmingled ill ! l
/ never took to them, and never will—
What am I saying ? Heed it not, my friend :
On the next page I mean to recommend
The very dodges that I now condemn }
In the Conservatives ! Don't hint to them >
A word of this ! (In confidence. Ahem !) )
Need I rehearse the history of Jowett ?
I need not, Senior Censor, for you know it.3
That was the Board Hebdomadal, and oh !
Who would be free, themselves must strike the blow !
Let each that wears a beard, and each that shaves,
Join in the cry " We never will be slaves ! "
" But can the University afford
" To be a slave to any kind of board ?
" A slave ? " you shuddering ask. " Think you it can,
Sir?"
" Not at the present moment" is my answer.4
1 "In a letter on a point connected with the late elections to the
Hebdomadal Council you incidentally remarked to me that our combina-
tions for these elections, 'though necessary were not an unmixed good.'
They are an unmixed evil."
2 " I never go to a caucus without reluctance : I never write a canvassing
letter without a feeling of repugnance to my task. "
3 " I need not rehearse the history of the Regius Professor of Greek."
4 " The University cannot afford at the present moment to be delivered
over as a slave to any non-academical interest whatever."
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 83
I've thought the matter o'er and o'er again
And given to it all my powers of brain ;
I've thought it out, and this is what I make it,
(And I don't care a Tory how you take it :)
It may be right to go ahead, / guess:
It may be right to stop, I do confess ;
Also, it may be right to retrogress.*
So says the oracle, and, for myself, I
Must say it beats to fits the one at Delphi !
To save beloved Oxford from the yoke,
(For this majority's beyond a joke,)
We must combine,2 aye ! hold a <r
Unless we want to get another beating.
That they should " bottle " us is nothing new—
But shall they bottle us and caucus too ?
See the " fell unity of purpose " now
With which Obstructives plunge into the row ! 4
"Factious Minorities," we used to sigh —
" Factious Majorities ! " is now the cry.
" Votes — ninety-two " — no combination here :
" Votes — ninety-three " — conspiracy, 'tis clear ! 5
You urge " 'Tis but a unit." I reply
That in that unit lurks their " unity."
1 " It may be right to go on, it may be right to stand still, or it may be
right to go back."
2 "To save the University from going completely under the yoke . . .
we shall still be obliged to combine."
3 " Caucus-holding and wire-pulling would still be almost inevitably
carried on to some extent. "
4 "But what are we to do? Mere is a great political and theological
party . . . labouring under perfect discipline and with fell unity of purpose,
to hold the University in subjection, and fill her government with its
nominees."
5 At a recent election to Council, the Liberals mustered ninety-two votes,
and the Conservatives ninety-three ; whereupon the latter were charged
with having obtained their victory by a conspiracy.
84 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Our voters often bolt, and often baulk us,
But then, they never, never go to caucus !
Our voters can't forget the maxim famous
" Seme/ electum semper eligamus " ;
They never can be worked into a ferment
By visionary promise of preferment,
Nor taught, by hints of " Paradise " ' beguiled,
To whisper " C for Chairman " like a child ! 2
And thus the friends that we have tempted down
Oft take the two-o'clock Express for town.3
This is our danger : this the secret foe
That aims at Oxford such a deadly blow.
What champion can we find to save the State,
To crush the plot ? We darkly whisper " Wait ! " <
My scheme is this : remove the votes of all
The residents that are not Liberal — 5
Leave the young Tutors uncontrolled and free,
And Oxford then shall see — what it shall see.
What next ? Why then, I say, let Convocation
Be shorn of all her powers of legislation.6
1 " Not to mention that, as we cannot promise Paradise to our supporters
they are very apt to take the train for London just l>efore the election."
2 It is not known to what the word " Paradise " was intended to allude,
and therefore the hint, here thrown out, that the writer meant to recall the
case of the late Chairman of Mr. Gladstone's committee, who had been
recently collated to the See of Chester, is wholly wanton and gratuitous.
3 A case of this kind had actually occurred on the occasion of the division
just alluded to.
4 Mr. Wayte, now President of Trinity, then put forward as the Liberal
candidate for election to Council.
5 " You and others suggest, as the only effective remedy, that the Con-
stituency should be reformed, by the exclusion of the non-academical
elements which form a main part of the strength of this party domination."
6 " I confess that, having included all the really academical elements in
Congregation, I would go boldly on, and put an end to the legislative
functions of Convocation."
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 85
But why stop there ? Let us go boldly on —
Sweep everything beginning with a "Con"
Into oblivion ! Convocation first,
Conservatism next, and, last and worst,
" Concilium Hebdomadale " must,
Consumed and conquered, be consigned to dust ! '
And here I must relate a little fable
I heard last Saturday at our high table : —
The cats, it seems, were masters of the house,
And held their own against the rat and mouse :
Of course the others couldn't stand it long,
So held a caucus, (not, in their case, wrong ;)
And, when they were assembled to a man,
Uprose an aged rat, and thus began : —
" Brothers in bondage ! Shall we bear to be
For ever left in a minority ?
With what " fell unity of purpose " cats
Oppose the trusting innocence of rats !
So unsuspicious are we of disguise,
Their machinations take us by surprise — 2
Insulting and tyrannical absurdities ! 3
It is too bad by half — upon my word it is !
For, now that these Con , cats, I should say, (frizzle
'em !)
Are masters, they exterminate like Islam ! 4
How shall we deal with them ? I'll tell you how :—
Let none but kittens be allowed to miaow !
1 "This conviction, that while we have Elections to Council we shall not
entirely get rid of party organisation and its evils, leads me to venture a step
further, and to raise the question whether it is really necessary that we
should have an Elective Council for legislative purposes at all."
2 " Sometimes, indeed, not being informed that the wires are at work,
we are completely taken by surprise."
3 "We are without protection against this most insulting and tyrannical
absurdity."
4 " It is as exterminating as Islam."
86 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
The Liberal kittens seize us but in play,
And, while they frolic, we can run away :
But older cats are not so generous,
Their claws are too Conservative for us !
Then let them keep the stable and the oats,
While kittens, rats, and mice have all the votes.
" Yes ; banish cats ! The kittens would not use
Their powers for blind obstruction,1 nor refuse
To let us sip the cream and gnaw the cheese —
How glorious then would be our destinies ! 2
Kittens and rats would occupy the throne,
And rule the larder for itself alone ! " 3
So rhymed my friend, and asked me what I thought of it
I told him that so much as I had caught of it
Appeared to me (as I need hardly mention)
Entirely undeserving of attention.
But now, to guide the Congregation, when
It numbers none but really " able " men,
A " Vice- Cacellar ins" will be needed
Of every kind of human weakness weeded !
Is such the president that we have got ?
He ought no doubt to be ; why should he not ? *
I do not hint that Liberals should dare
1 "Their powers would scarcely be exercised for the purposes of
fanaticism, or in a spirit of blind obstruction."
2 " These narrow local bounds, within which our thoughts and schemes
have hitherto been pent, will begin to disappear, and a far wider sphere of
action will open on the view."
3 "Those councils must be freely opened to all who can serve her well
and who will serve her for herself."
4 " To preside over a Congregation with full legislative powers, the Vice-
Chancellor ought no doubt to be a man of real capacity ; but why should he
not ? His mind ought also, for this as well as for his other high functions,
to be clear of petty details, and devoted to the great matters of University
business ; but why should not this condition also be fulfilled ? "
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 87
To oust the present holder of the chair —
But surely he would not object to be
Gently examined by a Board of three ?
Their duty being just to ascertain
That he's " all there " (I mean, of course, in brain,)
And that his mind, from " petty details " clear,
Is fitted for the duties of his sphere.
All this is merely moonshine, till we get
The seal of Parliament upon it set.
A word then, Senior Censor, in your ear :
The Government is in a state of fear—
Like some old gentleman, abroad at night,
Seized with a sudden shiver of affright,
Who offers money, on his bended knees,
To the first skulking vagabond he sees —
Now is the lucky moment for our task ;
They daren't refuse us anything we ask ! T
And then our Fellowships shall open be
To Intellect, no meaner quality !
No moral excellence, no social fitness
Shall ever be admissible as witness.
" Avaunt, dull Virtue ! " is Oxonia's cry :
" Come to my arms, ingenious Villainy ! "
For Classic Fellowships, an honour high,
Simonides and Co. will then apply—
Our Mathematics will to Oxford bring
The 'cutest members of the betting-ring —
Law Fellowships will start upon their journeys
A myriad of unscrupulous attorneys —
1 " If you apply now to Parliament for this or any other University
reform, you will find the House of Commons in a propitious mood. . . .
Even the Conservative Government, as it looks for the support of moderate
Liberals on the one great subject, is very unwilling to present itself in such
an aspect that these men may not be able decently to give it their support."
88 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
While poisoners, doomed till now to toil unknown,
Shall mount the Physical Professor's throne !
And thus would Oxford educate, indeed,
Men far beyond a merely local need—
With no career before them, I may say,1
Unless they're wise enough to go away,
And seek far West, or in the distant East,
Another flock of pigeons to be fleeced.
I might go on, and trace the destiny
Of Oxford in an age which, though it be
Thus breaking with tradition, owns a new
Allegiance to the intellectual few —
(I mean, of course, the — pshaw ! no matter who !)
But, were I to pursue the boundless theme,
I fear that I should seem to you to dream.2
This to fulfil, or even — humbler far —
To shun Conservatism's noxious star
And all the evils that it brings behind,
These pestilential coils must be untwined—
The party-coils, that clog the march of Mind —
Choked in whose meshes Oxford, slowly wise,
Has lain for three disastrous centuries.3
Away with them ! (It is for this I yearn !)
Each twist untwist, each Turner overturn !
Disfranchise each Conservative, and cancel
1 " With open Fellowships, Oxford will soon produce a supply of men
fit for the work of high education far beyond her own local demands, and
in fact with no career before them unless a career can be opened elsewhere."
2 " I should seem to you to dream if I were to say what I think the
destiny of the University may be in an age which, though it is breaking
with tradition, is, from the same causes, owning a new allegiance to
intellectual authority."
3 "But to fulfil this, or even a far humbler destiny — to escape the
opposite lot -the pestilential coils of party, in which the University has
lain for three disastrous centuries choked, must be untwined."
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 89
The votes of Michell, Liddon, Wall, and Mansel !
Then, then shall Oxford be herself again,
Neglect the heart, and cultivate the brain —
Then this shall be the burden of our song,
" All change is good — whatever is, is wrong — '
Then Intellect's proud flag shall be unfurled,
And Brain, and Brain alone, shall rule the world !
THE OFFER OF THE CLARENDON
TRUSTEES.
" Accommodated : that is, when a man is, as they say,
accommodated ; or when a man is — being — whereby — he
may be thought to be accommodated ; which is an excel-
lent thing."
DEAR SENIOR CENSOR, — In a desultory con-
versation on a point connected with the dinner at
our high table, you incidentally remarked to me
that lobster-sauce, " though a necessary adjunct
to turbot, was not entirely wholesome."
It is entirely unwholesome. I never ask for it
without reluctance : I never take a second spoon-
ful without a feeling of apprehension on the
subject of possible nightmare.1 This naturally
brings me to the subject of Mathematics, and
of the accommodation provided by the Uni-
1 See page 82, Notes i, 2.
9o THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
versity for carrying on the calculations necessary
in that important branch of Science.
As Members of Convocation are called upon
(whether personally, or, as is less exasperating,
by letter) to consider the offer of the Clarendon
Trustees, as well as every other subject of human,
or inhuman, interest, capable of consideration, it
has occurred to me to suggest for your considera-
tion how desirable roofed buildings are for carry-
ing on mathematical calculations : in fact, the
variable character of the weather in Oxford
renders it highly inexpedient to attempt much
occupation, of a sedentary nature, in the open air.
Again, it is often impossible for students to
carry on accurate mathematical calculations in
close contiguity to one another, owing to their
mutual interference, and a tendency to general
conversation : consequently these processes re-
quire different rooms in which irrepressible con-
versationists, who are found to occur in every
branch of Society, might be carefully and per-
manently fixed.
It may be sufficient for the present to enume-
rate the following requisites ; others might be
added as funds permitted.
A. A very large room for calculating Greatest
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 91
Common Measure. To this a small one might
be attached for Least Common Multiple : this,
however, might be dispensed with.
B. A piece of open ground for keeping Roots
and practising their extraction : it would be
advisable to keep Square Roots by themselves,
as their corners are apt to damage others.
C. A room for reducing Fractions to their
Lowest Terms. This should be provided with
a cellar for keeping the Lowest Terms when
found, which might also be available to the
general body of Undergraduates, for the purpose
of " keeping Terms."
D. A large room, which might be darkened,
and fitted up with a magic lantern for the purpose
of exhibiting Circulating Decimals in the act of
circulation. This might also contain cupboards,
fitted with glass-doors, for keeping the various
Scales of Notation.
E. A narrow strip of ground, railed off and
carefully levelled, for investigating the properties
of Asymptotes, and testing practically whether
Parallel Lines meet or not : for this purpose it
should reach, to use the expressive language of
Euclid, " ever so far."
This last process, of " continually producing the
92 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Lines," may require centuries or more : but such
a period, though long in the life of an individual,
is as nothing in the life of the University.
As Photography is now very much employed
in recording human expressions, and might pos-
sibly be adapted to Algebraical Expressions, a
small photographic room would be desirable, both
for general use and for representing the various
phenomena of Gravity, Disturbance of Equi-
librium, Resolution, &c., which affect the features
during severe mathematical operations.
May I trust that you will give your immediate
attention to this most important subject ?
Believe me,
Sincerely yours,
Feb. 6, 1868. MATHEMATICUS
THE DESERTED PARKS.
"SOLITUDINUM FACIUNT : FARCUM APPELLANT."
Museum ! loveliest building of the plain
Where Cherwell winds towards the distant main ;
How often have I loitered o'er thy green,
Where humble happiness endeared the scene !
How often have I paused on every charm,
The rustic couple walking arm in arm —
The groups of trees, with seats beneath the shade
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 93
For prattling babes and whisp'ring lovers made —
The never-failing brawl, the busy mill
Where tiny urchins vied in fistic skill—
(Two phrases only have that dusky race
Caught from the learned influence of the place ;
Phrases in their simplicity sublime,
" Scramble a copper ! " " Please, Sir, what's the time ? "
These round thy walks their cheerful influence shed ;
These were thy charms — but all these charms are fled.
Amidst thy bowers the tyrant's hand is seen,
And rude pavilions sadden all thy green ;
One selfish pastime grasps the whole domain,
And half a faction swallows up the plain ;
Adown thy glades, all sacrificed to cricket,
The hollow-sounding bat now guards the wicket ;
Sunk are thy mounds in shapeless level all,
Lest aught impede the swiftly rolling ball ;
And trembling, shrinking from the fatal blow,
Far, far away thy hapless children go.
Ill fares the place, to luxury a prey,
Where wealth accumulates, and minds decay ;
Athletic sports may flourish or may fade,
Fashion may make them, even as it has made ;
But the broad Parks, the city's joy and pride,
When once destroyed can never be supplied !
Ye friends to truth, ye statesmen, who survey
The rich man's joys increase, the poor's decay,
'Tis yours to judge, how wide the limits stand
Between a splendid and a happy land.
Proud swells go by with laugh of hollow joy,
And shouting Folly hails them with " Ahoy ! "
Funds even beyond the miser's wish abound,
And rich men flock from all the world around.
Yet count our gains. This wealth is but a name,
94 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
That leaves our useful products still the same.
Not so the loss. The man of wealth and pride
Takes up a space that many poor supplied ;
Space for the game, and all its instruments,
Space for pavilions and for scorers' tents ;
The ball, that raps his shins in padding cased,
Has worn the verdure to an arid waste ;
His Park, where these exclusive sports are seen,
Indignant spurns the rustic from the green ;
While through the plain, consigned to silence all,
In barren splendour flits the russet ball.
In peaceful converse with his brother Don,
Here oft the calm Professor wandered on ;
Strange words he used — men drank with wondering ears
The languages called "dead," the tongues of other years.
(Enough of Heber ! Let me once again
Attune my verse to Goldsmith's liquid strain.)
A man he was to undergraduates dear,
And passing rich with forty pounds a year.
And so, I ween, he would have been till now,
Had not his friends ('twere long to tell you how)
Prevailed on him, Jack-Horner-like, to try
Some method to evaluate his pie,
And win from those dark depths, with skilful thumb,
Five times a hundredweight of luscious plum —
Yet for no thirst of wealth, no love of praise,
In learned labour he consumed his days !
O Luxury ! thou cursed by Heaven's decree,
How ill exchanged are things like these for thee !
How do thy potions, with insidious joy,
Diffuse their pleasures only to destroy ;
Iced cobbler, Badminton, and shandy-gaff,
Rouse the loud jest and idiotic laugh ;
Inspired by them, to tipsy greatness grown,
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 95
Men boast a florid vigour not their own ;
At every draught more wild and wild they grow ;
While pitying friends observe " I told you so ! "
Till, summoned to their post, at the first ball,
A feeble under-hand, their wickets fall.
Even now the devastation is begun,
And half the business of destruction done ;
Even now, methinks while pondering here in pity,
I see the rural Virtues leave the city.
Contented Toil, and calm scholastic Care,
And frugal Moderation, all are there ;
Resolute Industry that scorns the lure
Of careless mirth — that dwells apart secure-
To science gives her days, her midnight oil,
Cheered by the sympathy of others' toil-
Courtly Refinement, and that Taste in dress
That brooks no meanness, yet avoids excess-
All these I see, with slow reluctant pace
Desert the long-beloved and honoured place !
While yet 'tis time, Oxonia, rise and fling
The spoiler from thee : grant no parleying !
Teach him that eloquence, against the wrong,
Though very poor, may still be very strong ;
That party-interests we must forego,
When hostile to " pro bono publico ";
That faction's empire hastens to its end,
When once mankind to common sense attend ;
While independent votes may win the day
Even against the potent spell of " Play ! "
May, 1867.
THE END.
THE NEW BELFRY.
[Oxford has always been sensitive in respect
of her new buildings ; in proportion as she has
a right to be proud of what is old, she assumes
the privilege of being hypercritical over anything
in the nature of an innovation. The grandest
of the modern architects have had to run the
gauntlet of ridicule when they laid their hands
on the University buildings ; but perhaps there
was never better ground for ridicule than that
which Mr. Dodgson discovered in "the three
TV at Christ Church.
In or about the year 1871, one of the old
canons' houses, which stood between the cathe-
dral and the "Tom" Quadrangle, was vacated,
and the authorities agreed that it should be
demolished, in order to make space for a direct
approach to the cathedral from the quadrangle.
Dean Liddell called in the aid of Mr. Bodley,
who constructed a double archway, running
under the solid masonry, and of sufficient length
to warrant the critics in describing it as the
Tunnel. About the same time it was decided
to remove the bells from the tower of the cathe-
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 97
dral, and make a new belfry over the staircase
of the Hall. The arcade of the tower was cut
through for the purpose of liberating the bells,
and the gap in the stonework is referred to by
Mr. Dodgson as the Trench. From lack of
funds, or some other reason, Bodley's idea of a
campanile of wood and copper was not proceeded
with, and the bells were ensconced in a plain
wooden case, of which the author of " The New
Belfry " —first printed in 1872, and hurried by
the Oxford public through five editions — made
merciless fun. He likens it to a meat-safe, a
box, a Greek Lexicon, a parallelepiped, a bathing-
machine, a piece of bar soap, a tea-cadcly, a
clothes-horse ; but his favourite name for it is the
Tea-chest. The Tunnel, the Trench, and the
Tea-chest are the " three T's " immortalised in
the "Monograph by D.C.L." and the "Threnody"
published in 1873 — of which there were three
editions. Between these two skits, it may be
mentioned, Mr. Dodgson printed for private
circulation a four-page pamphlet in a more
serious vein : " Objections submitted to the
Governing Body of Christ Church, Oxford,
against certain proposed alterations in the Great
Quadrangle."
98 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
In justice to Mr. Bodley it should be stated
that he lost no time in concealing his wooden
case by a low tower with four corner turrets, at
the north-east corner of the quadrangle. The
Tea-chest, I need hardly say, is a thing of the
past ; only its memory survives in the " Notes
by an Oxford Chiel."
"D.C.L.," of course, is a transposition of
Mr. Dodgson's initials. His playful humour
often sparkles in a word, even in a single letter,
and may escape the notice of present-day readers,
though contemporaries would be quick enough
to seize on every suggestion of fun, however
far-fetched or recondite. It may not be possible
in all instances to explain an allusion, where it
is evident that an allusion was made. One ought
to know why the motto of the " Vision" is:
" Call you this baching of your friends ? " and
why Venator, in the same piece, sings a
"^r^analian Ode." Who was Bache, for
instance ? But attention may be called to a few
of the allusions in these two " Notes," at the
risk of its being entirely superfluous for many
readers.
The Treasurer, who (it is suggested) " strove
to force" the belfry on an unwilling House, was
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 99
Canon John Bull, a notable figure in his day,
and a member of the Chapter of Christ Church.
The Professor who, as some imagined, "designed
this box, which, whether with a lid on or not,
equally offends the eye," was the Ireland Pro-
fessor of Exegesis, Mr. Dodgson's close friend
Dr. Liddon. " The head of the House and the
architect," who wished to embody their names
among the alterations then in progress, and con-
ceived the idea of representing in the belfry a
gigantic copy of a Greek Lexicon," were Liddell
and Scott — Sir George Gilbert Scott, who had
originally undertaken the work, and then handed
it over to his pupil, G. F. Bodley. " Jeeby," I
am afraid, is Mr. George Bodley without any
doubt. He is severely handled as the offender
in chief. The apostrophe to the new feature of
the " great educational establishment " — " Thou
tea-chest "- —is to be read in schoolboy fashion
as " Tu doces."
References to passing events are frequent
enough in these two pieces. The " bread and
butter question," towards the end of " The New
Belfry," was one of the recurring disputes on
the quality of the battels, which every college
periodically experiences. The " Indirect Claims"
ioo THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
and the ''anything but indirect Claimants" recall
the Geneva Arbitration and the Tichborne case,
both of which were the subject of much " prating"
in 1872. The "short-comings in the payment
of the Greek Professor " takes us back to the
story of the Jowett persecution.
"The Wandering Burgess," in "The Vision
of the Three T's," is Mr. Gladstone, who had
been defeated at Oxford in 1865, elected for
South Lancashire in the same year, and for
Greenwich in 1868. The reference in the ballad
to Ayrton and Lowe, Odger and Beales, was
natural enough to a satirist in 1873. Mr. Lowe's
abortive match-tax is elsewhere commemorated.
The Lunatic's speech in Chapter II. (" Lo you,
said our Rulers,") brings before us Gladstone and
Cardwell by name, the proposal to make Oxford
a military centre, and the disestablishment of the
Irish Church in 1870. The professor with his
humerus, and his gag on the necessity of German,
reflects two controversies which ere now have
counted for a good deal in the conversation of
Oxford common rooms.]
THE NEW BELFRY
OF
CHRIST CHURCH, OXFORD.
A MONOGRAPH
BY
D. C. L.
" A thing of beauty is a joy for ever."
East view of the new Belfry, Ch. Ch., as seen from the Meadow.
SECOND THOUSAND.
JAMES PARKER AND CO.
1872.
CONTENTS.
§ i. On the etymological significance of the new Belfry,
Ch. Ch.
§ 2. On the style of the new Belfry, Ch. Ch.
§ 3. On the origin of the new Belfry, Ch. Ch.
^ 4. On the chief architectural merit of the new Belfry,
Ch. Ch.
§ 5. On the other architectural merits of the new Belfry,
Ch. Ch.
§ 6. On the means of obtaining the best views of the new
Belfry, Ch. Ch.
§ 7. On the impetus given to Art in England by the new
Belfry, Ch. Ch.
§ 8. On the feelings with which old Ch. Ch. men regard
the new Belfry.
§ 9. On the feelings with which resident Ch. Ch. men
regard the new Belfry.
§ 10. On the logical treatment of the new Belfry, Ch. Ch.
§ IT. On the dramatic treatment of the new Belfry, Ch. Ch.
§ 12. On the Future of the new Belfry, Ch. Ch.
§ 13. On the Moral of the new Belfry, Ch. Ch.
§ i. On the etymological significance of the new
Belfry, Ch. Ch.
The word " Belfry " is derived from the French
bel, "beautiful, becoming, meet," and from the
German frei, " free, unfettered, secure, safe."
Thus the word is strictly equivalent to " meat-
safe," to which the new belfry bears a resemblance
so perfect as almost to amount to coincidence.
§ 2. On the style of the new Belfry, Ch. Ch.
The style is that which is usually known as
" Early Debased " : very early, and remarkably
debased.
§ 3. On the origin of the new Belfry, Ch. Ch.
Outsiders have enquired, with a persistence
verging on personality, and with a recklessness
scarcely distinguishable from insanity, to whom
we are to attribute the first grand conception of
the work. Was it the Treasurer, say they, who
thus strove to force it on an unwilling House?
Was it a Professor who designed this box, which,
103
104 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
whether with a lid on or not, equally offends the
eye ? Or was it a Censor whose weird spells
evoked the horrid thing, the bane of this and of
succeeding generations ? Until some reply is
given to these and similar questions, they must
and will remain — for ever — unanswered !
On this point Rumour has been unusually busy.
Some say that the Governing Body evolved the
idea in solemn conclave — the original motion
being to adopt the Tower of St. Mark's at
Venice as a model ; and that by a series of
amendments it was reduced at last to a simple
cube. Others say that the Reader in Chemistry
suggested it as a form of crystal. There are
others who affirm that the Mathematical Lecturer
found it in the Eleventh Book of Euclid. In
fact, there is no end to the various myths afloat
on the subject. Most fortunately, we are in
possession of the real story.
The true origin of the design is as follows : we
have it on the very best authority.
The head of the House, and the architect,
feeling a natural wish that their names should
be embodied, in some conspicuous way, among
the alterations then in progress, conceived the
beautiful and unique idea of representing, by
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 105
means of the new Belfry, a gigantic copy of a
Greek Lexicon.1 But, before the idea had been
reduced to a working form, business took them
both to London for a few days, and during their
absence, somehow (this part of the business has
never been satisfactorily explained) the whole
thing was put into the hands of a wandering
architect, who gave the name of Jeeby. As the
poor man is now incarcerated at Han well, we
will not be too hard upon his memory, but will
only say that he professed to have originated the
idea in a moment of inspiration, when idly
contemplating one of those high coloured, and
mysteriously decorated chests which, filled with
dried leaves from gooseberry bushes and quick-
set hedges, profess to supply the market with tea
of genuine Chinese growth. Was there not
something prophetic in the choice ? What
traveller is there, to whose lips, when first he
enters that great educational establishment and
gazes on this its newest decoration, the words do
not rise unbidden — " Thou tea-chest "?
1 The Editor confesses to a difficulty here. No sufficient
reason has been adduced why a model of a Greek Lexicon
should in any way " embody " the names of the above illus-
trious individuals.
io6 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
It is plain then that Scott, the great architect
to whom the work of restoration has been en-
trusted, is not responsible for this. He is said to
have pronounced it a " casus belli," which (with
all deference to the Classical Tutors of the House,
who insist that he meant merely " a case for a
bell ") we believe to have been intended as a term
of reproach.
The following lines are attributed to Scott :—
" If thou wouldst view the Belfry aright,
Go visit it at the mirk midnight—
For the least hint of open day
Scares the beholder quite away.
When wall and window are black as pitch,
And there's no deciding which is which ;
When the dark Hall's uncertain roof
In horror seems to stand aloof ;
When corner and corner, alternately,
Is wrought to an odious symmetry :
When distant Thames is heard to sigh
And shudder as he hurries by ;
Then go, if it be worth the while,
Then view the Belfry's monstrous pile,
And, home returning, soothly swear,
* Tis more than Job himself could bear ! ' "
§ 4. On the chief architectural merit of the new
Belfry, Ch. Ch.
Its chief merit is its simplicity — a simplicity so
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 107
pure, so profound, in a word, so simple, that no
other word will fitly describe it. The meagre
outline, and baldness of detail, of the present
Chapter, are adopted in humble imitation of this
great feature.
§ 5. On the other architectural merits of the new
Belfry, Ch. Ch.
The Belfry has no other architectural merits.
§ 6. On the means of obtaining the best views of
the neiv Belfry, Ch. Ch.
The visitor may place himself, in the first in-
stance, at the opposite corner of the Great Quad-
rangle, and so combine, in one grand spectacle,
the beauties of the North and West sides of the
edifice. He will find that the converging lines
forcibly suggest a vanishing point, and if that
vanishing point should in its turn suggest the
thought, " Would that it were on the point of
vanishing ! " he may perchance, like the soldier in
the ballad, " lean upon his sword " (if he has one :
they are not commonly worn by modern tourists),
" and wipe away a tear."
io8 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
He may then make the circuit of the Quad-
rangle, drinking in new visions of beauty at every
step—
" Ever charming, ever new,
When will the Belfry tire the view ? "
as Dyer sings in his well-known poem, " Grongar
Hill"— and as he walks along from the Deanery
towards the Hall staircase, and breathes more and
more freely as the Belfry lessens on the view, the
delicious sensation of relief, which he will expe-
rience when it has finally disappeared, will amply
repay him for all he will have endured.
The best view of the Belfry is that selected by
our artist for the admirable frontispiece which he
has furnished for the first volume of the present
work.1 This view may be seen, in all its beauty,
from the far end of Merton Meadow. From
that point the imposing position (or, more briefly,
the imposition) of the whole structure is thrill-
ingly apparent. There the thoughtful passer-by,
with four right angles on one side of him, and
four anglers, who have no right to be there, on
the other, may ponder on the mutability of human
things, or recall the names of Euclid and Isaak
1 On further consideration, it was deemed inexpedient to
extend this work beyond the compass of one Volume.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 109
Walton, or smoke, or ride a bicycle, or do any-
thing that the local authorities will permit.
§ 7. On the impetus given to Art in England by
the new Belfry, Ch. Ch.
The idea has spread far and wide, and is rapidly
pervading all branches of manufacture. Already
an enterprising maker of bonnet-boxes is ad-
vertising " the Belfry pattern " : two builders of
bathing machines at Ramsgate have followed
his example : one of the great London houses is
supplying "bar-soap" cut in the same striking
and symmetrical form : and we are credibly
informed that Berwick's Baking Powder and
Thorley's Food for Cattle are now sold in no
other shape.
§ 8. On the feelings with which old Ch. Ch. men
regard the new Belfry.
Bitterly, bitterly do all old Ch. Ch. men lament
this latest lowest development of native taste.
" We see the Governing Body," say they : " where
is the Governing Mind? " and Echo (exercising a
judicious " natural selection," for which even
Darwin would give her credit) answers "where? '
no THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
At the approaching " Gaucty," when a number
of old Ch. Ch. men will gather together, it is pro-
posed, at the conclusion of the banquet, to present
to each guest a portable model of the new Belfry,
tastefully executed in cheese.
§ 9. On the feelings with which resident Ch. Ch.
men regard the new Belfry.
Who that has seen a Ch. Ch. man conducting
his troop of ''lionesses" (so called from the savage
and pitiless greed with which they devour the
various sights of Oxford) through its ancient
precincts, that has noticed the convulsive start
and ghastly stare that always affect new-comers,
when first they come into view of the new Belfry,
that has heard the eager questions with which
they assail their guide as to the how, the why, the
what for, and the how long, of this astounding
phenomenon, can have failed to mark the manly
glow which immediately suffuses the cheek of the
hapless cicerone ?
" Is it the glow of conscious pride—
Of pure ambition gratified—
That seeks to read in other eye
Something of its own ecstasy ?
Or wrath, that worldlings should make fun
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK in
Of anything ' the House ' has done ?
Or puzzlement, that seeks in vain
The rigid mystery to explain ?
Or is it shame that, knowing not
How to defend or cloak the blot —
The foulest blot on fairest face
That ever marred a noble place —
Burns with the pangs it will not own,
Pangs felt by loyal sons alone ? "
§ 10. On the logical treatment of the new Belfry,
Ch. Ch.
The subject has been reduced to three Syllo-
gisms.
The first is in " Barbara." It is attributed to
the enemies of the Belfry.
Wooden buildings in the midst of stone- work are barbarous ;
Plain rectangular forms in the midst of arches and decorations
are barbarous ;
Ergo, the whole thing is ridiculous and revolting.
The second is in " Celarent," and has been most
carefully composed by the friends of the Belfry.
The Governing Body would conceal this appalling structure, if
they could ;
The Governing Body would conceal the feelings of chagrin
with which they now regard it, if they could ;
Ergo . . . (MS. unfinished}.
The third Syllogism is in " Festino," and is
ii2 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
the joint composition of the friends and the
enemies of the Belfry.
To restore the character of Ch. Ch., a tower must be built ;
To build a tower, ten thousand pounds must be raised ;
Ergo, no time must be lost.
These three Syllogisms have been submitted to
the criticism of the Professor of Logic, who writes
that " he fancies he can detect some slight want
of logical sequence in the Conclusion of the
third." He adds that, according to his experience
of life, when people thus commit a fatal blunder in
child-like confidence that money will be forth-
coming to enable them to set it right, in ten cases
out of nine the money is not forthcoming. This is
a large percentage.
§11. On the dramatic treatment of the new
Belfry, Ch. Ch.
Curtain rises, discovering the DEAN, CANONS, and
STUDENTS seated round a table, on which the
mad ARCHITECT, fantastically dressed, and
wearing a Fool's cap and bells, is placing a
square block of deal.
DEAN (As HAMLET). Methinks I see a Bell-
tower !
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 113
CANONS (Looking wildly in all directions].
Where, my good Sir ?
DEAN. In my mind's eye - - (Knocking heard]
Who's there ?
FOOL. A spirit, a spirit ; he says his name's
poor Tom.
(Enter THE GREAT BELL, disguised as a mush-
room. )
GREAT BELL. Who gives anything to poor
Tom, whom the foul fiend hath led through bricks
and through mortar, through rope and windlass,
through plank and scaffold ; that hath torn down
his balustrades, and torn up his terraces ; that
hath made him go as a common pedlar, with a
wooden box upon his back. Do poor Tom some
charity. Tom's a-cold.
Rafters and planks, and such small deer,
Shall be Tom's food for many a year.
CENSOR. I feared it would come to this.
DEAN (As KING LEAR). The little Dons and
all, Tutor, Reader, Lecturer — see, they bark at
me !
CENSOR. His wits begin to unsettle.
DEAN (As HAMLET). Do you see yonder box
that's almost in shape of a tea-caddy ?
n4 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
CENSOR. By its mass, it is like a tea-caddy, indeed.
DEAN. Methinks it is like a clothes-horse.
CENSOR. It is backed by a clothes-horse.
DEAN. Or like a tub.
CENSOR. Very like a tub.
DEAN. They fool me to the top of my bent.
(Enter from opposite sides THE BELFRY as Box,
and THE BODLEY LIBRARIAN as Cox.)
LIBRARIAN. Who are you, Sir ?
BELFRY. If it comes to that, Sir, who are you?
(They exchange cards.}
LIBRARIAN. I should feel obliged to you if you
could accommodate me with a more protuberant
Bell-tower, Mr. B. The one you have now seems
to me to consist of corners only, with nothing
whatever in the middle.
BELFRY. Anything to accommodate you, Mr.
Cox. (Places jauntily on his head a small model
of the skeleton of an umbrella, upside down.}
LIBRARIAN. Ah, tell me — in mercy tell me—
have you such a thing as a redeeming feature, or
the least mark of artistic design, about you ?
BELFRY. No !
LIBRARIAN. Then you are my long-lost door
scraper !
( They rush into each other s arms. )
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 115
(Enter TREASURER as ARIEL. Solemn music.}
SONG AND CHORUS.
Five fathom square the Belfry frowns ;
All its sides of timber made ;
Painted all in greys and browns ;
Nothing of it that will fade.
Christ Church may admire the change —
Oxford thinks it sad and strange.
Beauty's dead ! Let's ring her knell.
Hark ! now I hear them — ding-dong, bell.
§ 1 2. On the Future of the new Belfry, Ch. Ch.
The Belfry has a great Future before it — at least,
if it has not, it has very little to do with Time at
all, its Past being (fortunately for our ancestors) a
nonentity, and its Present a blank. The advan-
tage of having been born in the reign of Queen
Anne, and of having died in that or the subsequent
reign, has never been so painfully apparent as it
is now.
Credible witnesses assert that, when the bells
are rung, the Belfry must come down. In that
case considerable damage (the process technically
described as " pulverisation ") must ensue to the
beautiful pillar and roof which adofn the Hall
staircase. But the architect is prepared even for
n6 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
this emergency. " On the first symptom of de-
flection " (he writes from Hanwell) " let the pillar
be carefully removed and placed, with its super-
struent superstructure " (we cannot forbear calling
attention to this beautiful phrase), " in the centre
of ' Mercury.' There it will constitute a novel
and most unique feature of the venerable House."
" Yes, and the Belfry shall serve to generations
yet unborn as an ariel Ticket-office," so he cries
with his eye in a fine frenzy rolling, " where the
Oxford and London balloon shall call ere it launch
forth on its celestial voyage — and where expectant
passengers shall while away the time with the
latest edition of Belts Life I"
§ 13. On the Moral of the new Belfry, Ch. Ch.
The moral position of Christ Church is un-
doubtedly improved by it. " We have been
attacked, and perhaps not without reason, on the
Bread-and- Butter question," she remarks to an
inattentive World (which heeds her not, but prates
on of Indirect Claims and of anything but indirect
Claimants), " we have been charged — and, it must
be confessed, in a free and manly tone — with
shortcomings in the payment of the Greek Pro-
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 117
fessor, but who shall say that we are not all ' on
the square ' now ? "
This, however, is not the Moral of the matter.
Everything has a moral, if you choose to look for
it. In Wordsworth, a good half of every poem is
devoted to the Moral : in Byron, a smaller pro
portion : in Tupper, the whole. Perhaps the
most graceful tribute we can pay to the genius of
the last-named writer, is to entrust to him, as an
old member of Christ Church, the conclusion of
this Monograph.
" Look on the Quadrangle of Christ, squarely, for is it not a
Square ?
And a Square recalleth a Cube ; and a Cube recalleth the
Belfry ;
And the Belfry recalleth a Die, shaken by the hand of the
gambler ;
Yet, once thrown, it may not be recalled, being, so to speak,
irrevocable.
There it shall endure for ages, treading hard on the heels of
the Sublime —
For it is but a step, saith the wise man, from the Sublime unto
the Ridiculous :
And the Simple dwelleth midway between, and shareth the
qualities of either."
FINIS.
THE VISION
OF
THE THREE T'S,
A THRENODY
BY
THE AUTHOR OF
THE NEW BELFRY."
" Cal you this, baching of your friends ? "
West -view of the new Tunnel
SECOND EDITION.
JAMES PARKER AND CO.
1873-
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I.
A Conference (held on the Twentieth of March, 1873), betwixt
an Angler, a Hunter, and a Professor ; concerning angling,
and the beautifying of Thomas his Quadrangle. The
Ballad of " The Wandering Burgess."
CHAPTER II.
A Conference with one distraught : who discourseth strangely of
many things.
CHAPTER III.
A Conference of the Hunter with a Tutor, whilom the Angler
his eyes be closed in sleep. The Angler aivaking relateth
his Vision. The Hunter chaunteth " A Bachanalian Ode."
CHAPTER 1.
A Conference betwixt an Angler, a Hunter, and a
Professor concerning angling, and the beauti-
fying of Thomas his Quadrangle. The Ballad
of " The Wandering Burgess!'
PISCATOR, VENATOR.
PISCATOR. My honest Scholar, we are now
arrived at the place whereof I spake, and trust
me, we shall have good sport. How say you?
Is not this a noble Quadrangle we see around
us ? And be not these lawns trimly kept, and
this lake marvellous clear ?
VENATOR. So marvellous clear, good Master,
and withal so brief in compass, that methinks, if
any fish of a reasonable bigness were therein, we
must perforce espy it. I fear me there is none.
Pise. The less the fish, dear Scholar, the
greater the skill in catching of it. Come, let's sit
down, and while we unpack the fishing gear, I'll
deliver a few remarks, both as to the fish to be
met with hereabouts, and the properest method
of fishing.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 121
But you are to note first (for, as you are pleased
to be my Scholar, it is but fitting you should
imitate my habits of close observation) that the
margin of this lake is so deftly fashioned that each
portion thereof is at one and the same distance
from that tumulus which rises in the centre.
VEN. O' my word 'tis so ! You have indeed
a quick eye, dear Master, and a wondrous readi-
ness of observing.
Pise. Both may be yours in time, my Scholar,
if with humility and patience you follow me as
your model.
VEN. I thank you for that hope, great Master!
But ere you begin your discourse, let me enquire
of you one thing touching this noble Quadrangle-
Is all we see of a like antiquity ? To be brief,
think you that those two tall archways, that
excavation in the parapet, and that quaint wooden
box, belong to the ancient design of the building,
or have men of our day thus sadly disfigured the
place ?
Pise. I doubt not they are new, dear Scholar.
For indeed I was here but a few years since, and
saw naught of these things. But what book is
that I see lying by the water's edge ?
VEN. A book of ancient ballads, and truly I
122 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
am glad to see it, as we may herewith beguile the
tediousness of the day, if our sport be poor, or if
we grow aweary.
Pise. This is well thought of. But now to
business. And first I'll tell you somewhat of the
fish proper to these waters. The Commoner
kinds we may let pass : for though some of them
be easily Plucked forth from the water, yet are
they so slow, and withal have so little in
them, that they are good for nothing, unless they
be crammed up to the very eyes with such stuffing
as comes readiest to hand. Of these the Stickle-
back, a mighty slow fish, is chiefest, and along
with him you may reckon the Fluke, and divers
others : all these belong to the " Mullet " genus,
and be good to play, though scarcely worth
examination.
I will say somewhat of the Nobler kinds, and
chiefly of the Gold-fish, which is a species highly
thought of, and much sought after in these parts,
not only by men, but by divers birds, as for
example the King-fishers : and note that where-
soever you shall see those birds assemble, and
but few insects about, there shall you ever find
the Gold-fish most lively and richest in flavour ;
but wheresoever you perceive swarms of a certain
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 123
gray fly, called the Dun-fly, there the Gold-fish
are ever poorer in quality, and the King-fishers
seldom seen.
A good Perch may sometimes be found here-
abouts : but for a good fat Plaice (which is indeed
but a magnified Perch) you may search these
waters in vain. They that love such dainties
must needs betake them to some distant Sea.
But for the manner of fishing, I would have
you note first that your line be not thicker than an
ordinary bell-rope ; for look you, to flog the water,
as though you laid on with a flail, is most pre-
posterous, and will surely scare the fish. And
note further, that your rod must by no means
exceed ten, or at the most twenty, pounds in
weight, for—
VEN. Pardon me, my Master, that I thus
break in on so excellent a discourse, but there
now approaches us a Collegian, as I guess him to
be, from whom we may haply learn the cause of
these novelties we see around us. Is not that a
bone which, ever as he goes, he so cautiously
waves before him ?
Enter PROFESSOR.
Pise. By his reverend aspect and white hair, I
guess him to be some learned Professor. I give
124 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
you good day, reverend Sir ! If it be. not ill
manners to ask it, what bone is that you bear
about with you? It is, methinks, a humerous
whimsy to chuse so strange a companion.
PROF. Your observation, Sir, is both anthro-
politically and ambidexterously opportune :
for this is indeed a Hiimerus I carry with me.
You are, I doubt not, strangers in these parts, for
else you would surely know that a Professor doth
ever carry that which most aptly sets forth his
Profession. Thus, the Professor of Uniform
Rotation carries with him a wheelbarrow — the
Professor of Graduated Scansion a ladder — and
so of the rest.
VEN. It is an inconvenient and, methinks, an
ill-advised custom.
PROF. Trust me, Sir, you are absolutely
and amorphologically mistaken : yet time would
fail me to show you wherein lies your error, for
indeed I must now leave you, being bound for
this great performance of music, which even at
this distance salutes your ears.
Pise. Yet, I pray you, do us one courtesy
before you go ; and that shall be to resolve a
question, whereby my friend and I are sorely
exercised.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 125
PROF. Say on. Sir, and I will e'en answer
you to the best of my poor ability.
Pise. Briefly, then, we would ask the cause
for piercing the very heart of this fair building
with that uncomely tunnel, which is at once so ill-
shaped, so ill-sized, and so ill-lighted.
PROF. Sir, do you know German ?
Pise. It is my grief, Sir, that I know no other
tongue than mine own.
PROF. Then, Sir, my answer is this, Warum
nicht ?
Pise. Alas, Sir, I understand you not.
PROF. The more the pity. For now-a-days
all that is good comes from the German. Ask
our men of science : they will tell you that any
German book must needs surpass an English
one. Aye, and even an English book, worth
naught in this its native dress, shall become, when
rendered into German, a valuable contribution to
Science.
VEN. Sir, you much amaze me.
PROF. Nay, Sir, I'll amaze you yet more.
No learned man doth now talk, or even so much
as cough, save only in German. The time has
been, I doubt not, when an honest English
" Hem ! " was held enough, both to 'clear the
126 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
voice and rouse the attention of the company,
but now-a-days no man of Science, that setteth
any store by his good name, will cough otherwise
than thus, Ach ! Euch I Auch I
VEN. 'Tis wondrous. But, not to stay you
further, wherefore do we see that ghastly gash
above us, hacked, as though by some wanton
schoolboy, in the parapet adjoining the Hall ?
PROF. Sir, do you know German ?
VEN. Believe me, No.
PROF. Then, Sir, I need but ask you this,
Wie befinden Sie Sick ?
VEN. I doubt not, Sir, but you are in the right
on't.
Pise. But, Sir, I will by your favour ask you
one other thing, as to that unseemly box that
blots the fair heavens above. Wherefore, in this
grand old City, and in so conspicuous a place, do
men set so hideous a thing ?
PROF. Be you mad, Sir? Why this is the
very climacteric and coronal of all our archi-
tectural aspirations ! In all Oxford there is
naught like it !
Pise. It joys me much to hear you say
so.
PROF. And, trust me, to an earnest mind,
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 127
the categorical evolution of the Abstract, ideologi-
cally considered, must infallibly develope itself in
the parallelopipedisation of the Concrete ! And
so Farewell.
\_Exit PROFESSOR.
Pise. He is a learned man, and methinks
there is much that is sound in his reasoning.
VEN. It is all sound, as it seems to me. But
how say you ? Shall I read you one of these
ballads ? Here is one called " The Wandering-
Burgess," which (being forsooth a dumpish ditty)
may well suit the ears of us whose eyes are
oppressed with so dire a spectacle.
Pise. Read on, good Scholar, and I will bait
our hooks the while.
[VENATOR readeth.
THE WANDERING BURGESS.
Our Willie had been sae lang awa',
Frae bonnie Oxford toon,
The townsfolk they were greeting a'
As they went up and doon.
He hadna been gane a year, a year,
A year but barely ten,
When word cam unto Oxford toon,
Our Willie wad come agen.
128 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Willie he stude at Thomas his Gate,
And made a lustie din ;
And who so blithe as the gate-porter
To rise and let him in ?
" Now enter Willie, now enter Willie,
And look around the place,
And see the pain that we have ta'en
Thomas his Quad to grace."
The first look that our Willie cast,
He leuch loud laughters three,
The neist look that our Willie cast,
The tear blindit his e'e.
Sae square and stark the Tea-chest frowned
Athwart the upper air,
But when the Trench our Willie saw,
He thoucht the Tea-chest fair.
Sae murderous-deep the Trench did gape
The parapet aboon,
But when the Tunnel Willie saw,
He loved the Trench eftsoon.
'Twas mirk beneath the tane archway,
'Twas mirk beneath the tither ;
Ye wadna ken a man therein,
Though it were your ain dear brither.
He turned him round and round about,
And looked upon the Three ;
And dismal grew his countenance,
And drumlie grew his e'e.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 129
" What cheer, what cheer, my gallant knight ? "
The gate-porter 'gan say.
" Saw ever ye sae fair a sight
As ye have seen this day ? "
" Now haud your tongue of your prating, man :
Of your prating now let me be.
For, as I'm true knight, a fouler sight
I'll never live to see.
" Before I'd be the ruffian dark
Who planned this ghastly show,
I'd serve as secretary's clerk
To Ayrton or to Lowe.
" Before I'd own the loathly thing
That Christ Church Quad reveals,
I'd serve as shoeblack's underling
To Odger and to Beales ! "
CHAPTER II.
A Conference with one distraught : who discourseth
strangely of many things.
PISCATOR, VENATOR.
PISCATOR. 'Tis a marvellous pleasant ballad.
But look you, another Collegian draws near. I
wot not of what station he is, for indeed his
apparel is new to me.
VENATOR. It is compounded, as I take it, of
10
130 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
the diverse dresses of a jockey, a judge, and a
North American Indian.
Enter LUNATIC.
Pise. Sir, may I make bold to ask your name?
LUN. With all my heart. It is Jeeby, at your
service.
Pise. And wherefore (if I may further trouble
you, being, as you see, a stranger) do you wear so
gaudy, but withal so ill-assorted, a garb ?
LUN. Why, Sir, I'll tell you. Do you read
the Morning Post?
Pise. Alas, Sir, I do not.
LUN. 'Tis pity of your life you do not. For,
look you, not to read the Post, and not to know
the newest and most commended fashions, are
but one and the same thing. And yet this
raiment, that I wear, is not the newest fashion.
No, nor has it ever been, nor will it ever be, the
fashion.
VEN. I can well believe it.
LUN. And therefore 'tis, Sir, that I wear it.
'Tis but a badge of greatness. My deeds you
see around you. Si monumentum quceris, circum-
spice ! You know Latin ?
VEN. Not I, Sir ! It shames me to say it.
LUN. You are then (let me roundly tell you)
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 131
monstrum horrendum, informe, ingens, cui lumen
ademptum !
VEN. Sir, you may tell it me roundly — or, if
you list, squarely — or again, triangularly. But if,
as you affirm, I see your deeds around me, I
would fain know which they be.
LUN. Aloft, Sir, stands the first and chiefest !
That soaring minaret ! That gorgeous cupola !
That dreamlike effulgence of—
VEN. That wooden box ?
LUN. The same, Sir ! 'Tis mine !
VEN. (After a pause]. Sir, it is worthy of you.
LUN. Lower now your eyes by a hairsbreadth,
and straight you light upon my second deed. Oh,
Sir, what toil of brain, what cudgelling of fore-
head, what rending of locks, went to the fashion-
ing of it !
VEN. Mean you that newly-made gap ?
LUN. I do, Sir. 'Tis mine !
VEN. (After a long pause]. What else, Sir ?
I would fain know the worst.
LUN. (Wildly). It comes, it comes. My
third great deed ! Lend, lend your ears — your
nose — any feature you can least conveniently
spare ! See you those twin doorways ? Tall
and narrow they loom upon you — severely simple
132 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
their outline — massive the masonry between-
black as midnight the darkness within ! Sir, of
what do they mind you ?
VEN. Of vaults, Sir, and of charnel-houses.
LUN. This is a goodly fancy, and yet they are
not vaults. No, Sir, you see before you a Rail-
way Tunnel !
VEN. 'Tis very strange.
LUN. But no less true than strange. Mark
me. 'Tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go
round ! Society goes round of itself. In circles.
Military society in military circles. Circles must
needs have centres. Military circles military
centres.
VEN. Sir, I fail to see—
LUN. Lo you, said our Rulers, Oxford shall
be a military centre ! Then the chiefest of them
(glad in countenance, yet stony, I wot, in heart)
so ordered it by his underling (I remember me
not his name, yet is he one that can play a card
well, and so serveth meetly the behests of that
mighty one, who played of late in Ireland a game
of cribbage such as no man, who saw it, may
lightly forget) ; and then, Sir, this great College,
ever loyal and generous, gave this Quadrangle as
a Railway Terminus, whereby the troops might
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 133
come and go. By that Tunnel, Sir, the line will
enter.
Pise. But, Sir, I see no rails.
LUN. Patience, good Sir ! For railing we
look to the Public. The College doth but furnish
sleepers.
Pise. And the design of that Tunnel is—
LUN. Is mine, Sir ! Oh, the fancy ! Oh, the
wit ! Oh, the rich vein of humour ! When came
the idea? I' the mirk midnight. Whence came
the idea ? From a cheese-scoop ! How came
the idea? In a wild dream. Hearken, and I will
tell. Form square, and prepare to receive a
canonry ! All the evening long I had seen
lobsters marching around the table in unbroken
order. Something sputtered in the candle —
something hopped among the tea-things — some-
thing pulsated, with an ineffable yearning, beneath
the enraptured hearthrug ! My heart told me
something was coming — and something came. A
voice cried " Cheese-scoop ! " and the Great
Thought of my life flashed upon me ! Placing
an ancient Stilton cheese, to represent this vene-
rable Quadrangle, on the chimney-piece, I retired
to the further end of the room, armed only with a
cheese-scoop, and with a dauntless courage awaited
134 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
the word of command. Charge, Cheesetaster,
charge ! On, Stilton, on ! With a yell and a
bound I crossed the room, and plunged my scoop
into the very heart of the foe ! Once more !
Another yell — another bound — another cavity
scooped out ! The deed was done !
VEN. And yet, Sir, if a cheese-scoop were
your guide, these cavities must needs be circular.
LUN. They were so at the first — but, like the
fickle Moon, my guardian satellite, I change as
I go on. Oh, the rapture, Sir, of that wild
moment! And did I reveal the Mighty Secret!
Never, never! Day by day, week by week,
behind a wooden screen, I wrought out that
vision of beauty. The world came and went, and
knew not of it. Oh, the ecstasy, when yesterday
the Screen was swept away, and the Vision was
a Reality ! I stood by Tom-Gate, in that
triumphal hour, and watched the passers-by.
They stopped ! They stared ! ! They started ! ! !
A thrill of envy paled their cheeks! Hoarse
inarticulate words of delirious rapture rose to their
lips. What withheld me— what, I ask you
candidly, withheld me from leaping upon them,
holding them in a frantic clutch, and yelling in
their ears " Tis mine, 'tis mine ! "
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 135
Pise. Perchance, the thought that—
LUN. You are right, Sir. The thought that
there is a lunatic asylum in the neighbourhood,
and that two medical certificates — but I will be
calm. The deed is done. Let us change the
subject. Even now a great musical performance
is going on within. Wilt hear it ? The Chapter
give it — ha, ha ! They give it !
Pise. Sir, I will very gladly be their guest.
LUN. Then, guest, you have not guessed all !
You shall be bled, Sir, ere you go ! 'Tis love,
'tis love, that makes the hat go round ! Stand
and deliver ! Vivat Regina ! No money re-
turned !
Pise. How mean you, Sir ?
LUN. I said, Sir, " No money returned ! "
Pise. And /said. Sir, " How mean—
LUN. Sir, I am with you. You have heard
of Bishops' Charges. Sir, what are Bishops to
Chapters ? Oh, it goes to my heart to see these
quaint devices ! First, sixpence for use of a door-
scraper. Then, fivepence for right of choosing
by which archway to approach the door. Then,
a poor threepence for turning of the handle. Then,
a shilling a head for admission, and half-a-crown
for every two-headed man. Now this, Sir, is
136 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
manifestly unjust, for you are to note that the
double of a shilling—
Pise. I do surmise, Sir, that the case is rare.
LUN. And then, Sir, five shillings each for
care of your umbrella ! Hence comes it that each
visitor of ready wit hides his umbrella, ere he
enter, either by swallowing it (which is perilous
to the health of the inner man), or by running it
down within his coat, even from the nape of the
neck, which indeed is the cause of that which you
may have observed in me, namely, a certain stiff-
ness in mine outward demeanour. Farewell,
gentlemen, 1 go to hear the music.
\_Exit LUNATIC.
CHAPTER III.
A Conference of the Hunter with a Tutor,
whilom the Angler his eyes be closed in
sleep. The Angler awaking relateth his
Vision. The Hunter chaunteth "A Bach-
analian Ode"
PISCATOR, VENATOR, TUTOR.
VENATOR. He has left us, but methinks we
are not to lack company, for look you, another is
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 137
even now at hand, gravely apparelled, and bear-
ing upon his head Hoffmann's Lexicon in four
volumes folio.
PISCATOR. Trust me, this doth symbolise his
craft. Good morrow, Sir. If I rightly interpret
these that you bear with you, you are a teacher
in this learned place ?
TUTOR, i am, Sir, a Tutor, and profess the
teaching of divers unknown tongues.
Pise. Sir, we are happy to have your com-
pany, and, if it trouble you not too much, we
would gladly ask (as indeed we did ask another
of your learned body, but understood not his
reply) the cause of these new things we see around
us, which indeed are as strange as they are new,
and as unsightly as they are strange.
TUTOR. Sir, I will tell you with all my heart.
You must know then (for herein lies the pith of
the matter) that the motto of the Governing Body
is this :—
" Diruit, tzdificat, mutat quadrat a rotundis" ;
which I thus briefly expound.
Diruit. "It teareth doivn" Witness that fair
opening which, like a glade in an ancient forest,
we have made in the parapet at the sinistral
extremity of the Hall. Even as a tree is the
138 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
more admirable when the hewer's axe hath all but
severed its trunk — or as a row of pearly teeth,
enshrined in ruby lips, are yet the more lovely
for the loss of one — so, believe me, this our fair
Quadrangle is but enhanced by that which foolish
men in mockery call the " Trench."
^dificat. "It buildeth up." Witness that
beauteous Belfry which, in its ethereal grace,
seems ready to soar away even as we gaze upon
it ! Even as a railway porter moves with an
unwonted majesty when bearing a portmanteau
on his head — or as I myself (to speak modestly)
gain a new beauty from these massive tomes—
or as ocean charms us most when the rectangular
bathing-machine breaks the monotony of its
curving marge — so are we blessed by the
presence of that which an envious world hath
dubbed " the Tea-chest."
Mutat quadrata rotundis. " It exchangeth
square things for round." Witness that series of
square-headed doors and windows, so beautifully
broken in upon by that double archway ! For
indeed, though simple (" simplex munditiis" as
the poet saith), it is matchless in its beauty. Had
those twin archways been greater, they would but
have matched those at the corners of the Quad-
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 139
rangle — had they been less, they would but have
copied, with an abject servility, the doorways
around them. In such things, it is only a vulgar
mind that thinks of a match. The subject is
lowe. We seek the Unique, the Eccentric! We
glory in this twofold excavation, which scoffers
speak of as " the Tunnel."
VEN. Come, Sir, let me ask you a pleasant
question. Why doth the Governing Body chuse
for motto so trite a saying ? It is, if I remember
me aright, an example of a rule in the Latin
Grammar.
TUTOR. Sir, if we are not grammatical, we
are nothing !
VEN. But for the Belfry, Sir. Sure none can
look on it without an inward shudder ?
TUTOR. I will not gainsay it. But you are to
note that it is not permanent. This shall serve
its time, and a fairer edifice shall succeed it.
VEN. In good sooth I hope it. Yet for the
time being it doth not, in that it is not permanent,
the less disgrace the place. Drunkenness, Sir,
is not permanent, and yet is held in no good
esteem.
TUTOR. 'Tis an apt simile.
VEN. And for these matchless arches, as you
i4o THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
do most truly call them, would it not savour of
more wholesome Art, had they matched the door-
ways, or the gateways ?
TUTOR. Sir; do you study the Mathematics ?
VEN. I trust, Sir, I can do the Rule of Three
as well as another ; and for Long Division—
TUTOR. You must know, then, that there be
three Means treated of in Mathematics. For
there is the Arithmetic Mean, the Geometric,
and the Harmonic. And note further that a
Mean is that which falleth between two mag-
nitudes. Thus it is, that the entrance you here
behold falleth between the magnitudes of the
doorways and the gateways, and is in truth the
Non-harmonic Mean, the Mean Absolute. But
that the Mean, or Middle, is ever the safer course,
we have a notable ensample in Egyptian history,
in which land (as travellers tell us) the Ibis
standeth ever in the midst of the river Nile,
so best to avoid the onslaught of the ravenous
alligators, which infest the banks on either side ;
from which habit of that wise bird is derived the
ancient maxim, " Medio tutissimus Ibis"
VEN. But wherefore be they two ? Surely
one arch were at once more comely and more
convenient ?
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 141
TUTOR. Sir, so long as public approval be
won, what matter for the arch ? But that they
are two, take this as sufficient explication — that
they are too tall for doorways, too narrow for
gateways ; too light without, too dark within ;
too plain to be ornamental, and withal too fan-
tastic to be useful. And if this be not enough,
you are to note further that, were it all one arch,
it must needs cut short one of those shafts which
grace the Quadrangle on all sides — and that were
a monstrous and unheard-of thing, in good sooth,
look you.
VEN. In good sooth, Sir, if I look I cannot
miss seeing that there be three such shafts
already cut short by doorways : so that it hath
fair ensample to follow.
TUTOR. Then will I take other ground, Sir,
and affirm (for I trust I have not learned Logic
in vain) that to cut short the shaft were a common
and vulgar thing to do. But indeed a single arch,
where folk might smoothly enter in, were wholly
adverse to Nature, who formeth never a mouth
without setting a tongue as an obstacle in the
midst thereof.
VEN. Sir, do you tell me that the block of
masonry, between the gateways, was left there
142 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
of set purpose, to hinder those that would
enter in ?
TUTOR. Trust me, it was even so ; for firstly,
we may thereby more easily control the entering
crowds ("divide et impera" say the Ancients),
and secondly, in this matter a wise man will ever
follow Nature. Thus, in the centre of a hall-
door we usually place an umbrella stand — in the
midst of a wicket-gate, a milestone, what place so
suited for a watchbox as the centre of a narrow
bridge ?— -Yea, and in the most crowded
thoroughfare, where the living tide flows thickest,
there, in the midst of all, the true ideal architect
doth ever plant an obelisk ! You may have
observed this ?
VEN. (Muck bewildered]. I may have done so,
worthy Sir ; and yet, methinks—
TUTOR. I must now bid you farewell ; for the
music, which I would fain hear, is even now
beginning.
VEN. Trust me, Sir, your discourse hath in-
terested me hugely.
TUTOR. Yet it hath, I fear me, somewhat
wearied your friend, who is, as I perceive, in a
deep slumber.
VEN. I had partly guessed it, by his loud and
continuous snoring.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 143
TUTOR. You had best let him sleep on. He
hath, I take it, a dull fancy, that cannot grasp
the Great and the Sublime. And so farewell :
I am bound for the music. \Exit TUTOR.
VEN. I give you good day, good Sir. Awake,
my Master ! For the day weareth on, and we
have catched no fish.
Pise. Think not of fish, dear Scholar, but
hearken ! Trust me, I have seen such things
in my dreams as words may hardly compass !
Come, Sir, sit down, and I'll unfold to you, in
such poor language as may best suit both my
capacity and the briefness of our time.
THE VISION OF THE THREE T's.
Methought that, in some bygone Age, I stood beside the waters
of Mercury, and saw, reflected on its placid face, the grand old
buildings of the Great Quadrangle : near me stood one of portly
form and courtly mien, with scarlet gown, and broad-brimmed
hat whose strings, wide-fluttering in the breezeless air, at once
defied the laws of gravity and marked the reverend Cardinal!
'Twas Wolsey's self! I would have spoken, but he raised his
hand and pointed to the cloudless sky, from whence deep-muttering
thunders now began to roll. I listened in wild terror.
Darkness gathered overhead, and through the gloom sobbingly
down-floated a gigantic Box ! With a fearful crash it settled
upon the ancient College, which groaned beneath it, while a
mocking voice cried, " Ha ! Ha ! " / looked for Wolsey : he was
gone. Down in those glassy depths lay the stalwart form, with
144 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
scarlet mantle grandly wrapped around it : the broad-brimmed
hat floated, boatlike, on the lake, while the strings with their
complex tassels, still defying the laws of gravity, quivered in the
air, and seemed to point a hundred fingers at the horrid Belfry !
Around, on every side, spirits howled in the howling blast,
blatant, stridulous !
A darker vision yet ! A black gash appeared in the shud-
dering parapet ! Spirits flitted hither and thither with averted
face, and warning finger pressed to quivering lips f
Then a wild shriek rang through the air, as, with volcanic
roar, two murky chasms burst upon the vieiv, and the ancient
College reeled giddily around me !
Spirits in patent-leather boots stole by on tiptoe, with hushed
breath and eyes of ghastly terror ! Spirits with cheap um-
brellas, and unnecessary goloshes, hovered over me, sublimely
pendant ! Spirits with carpet bags, dressed in complete suits
of dittos, sped by me, shrieking " Aivay ! Away ! To the
arrowy Rhine ! To the rushing Guadalquiver ! To Bath !
To Jericho ! To anywhere ! "
Stand here with me and gaze. From this thrice-favoured
spot, in one rapturous glance gather in, and brand for ever on
the tablets of memory, the Vision of the Three T's ! To your
left frowns the abysmal blackness of the tenebrous Tunnel. To
your right yawns the terrible Trench. While far above, away
from the sordid aims of Earth and the petty criticisms of Art,
soars, tetragonal and tremendous, the tintinabulatory Tea-
chest ! Scholar, the Vision is complete !
VEN. I am glad on't ; for in good sooth I am
a-hungered. How say you, my Master? Shall
we not leave fishing, and fall to eating presently ?
And look you, here is a song, which I have
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 145
chanced on in this book of ballads, and which
methinks suits well the present time and this
most ancient place.
Pise. Nay, then, let's sit down. We shall, I
warrant you, make a good, honest, wholesome,
hungry nuncheon with a piece of powdered beef
and a radish or two that I have in my fish-bag.
And you shall sing us this same song as we eat.
VEN. Well, then, I will sing ; and I trust it
may content you as well as your excellent dis-
course hath oft profited me.
VENATOR chaunteth
A BACHANALIAN ODE.
Here's to the Freshman of bashful eighteen !
Here's to the Senior of twenty !
Here's to the youth whose moustache can't be seen !
And here's to the man who has plenty !
Let the men Pass !
Out of the mass
I'll warrant we'll find you some fit for a Class !
Here's to the Censors, who symbolise Sense,
Just as Mitres incorporate Might, Sir !
To the Bursar, who never expands the expense
And the Readers, who always do right, Sir
Tutor and Don,
Let them jog on !
I warrant they'll rival the centuries gone !
ii
146 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Here's to the Chapter, melodious crew !
Whose harmony surely intends well :
For, though it commences with " harm," it is true
Yet its motto is " All's well that ends well ! "
Tis love, I'll be bound,
That makes it go round !
'For " In for a penny is in for a pound ! "
Here's to the Governing Body, whose Art
(For they're Masters of Arts to a man, Sir !)
Seeks to beautify Christ Church in every part,
Though the method seems hardly to answer !
With three T's it is graced —
Which letters are placed
To stand for the names of Tact, Talent, and Taste !
Pise. I thank you, good Scholar, for this
piece of merriment, and this Song, which was
well humoured by the maker, and well rendered
by you.
VEN. Oh, me ! Look you, Master ! A fish !
a fish!
Pise. Then let us hook it. [ They hook it.
FINIS.
THE BLANK CHEQUE, A FABLE.
[The explanation of this skit is conveyed in the
"-Moral" at the end. It was a fact that the
building of the New Schools was decided on in
principle, and that arrangements were made for
putting the work in hand, without precisely count-
ing the cost.
" Mrs. Nivers " is the U-nivers-ity. The name
which the author gives himself, " Mr. De Ciel,"
is an easy cryptogram for " D.C. L.," that is for
C.L.D., and would not for a moment puzzle the
Oxford man of 1874. " Mr. Prior Burgess" and
his " three courses," and the " next boarder," who
had to be more " hardy " in his notions, is a
reflection from 1865. "Susan," who was en-
trusted with . the blank cheque, and empowered
to find " a New School for Angela," was the
committee appointed to select a plan and submit
an estimate. The " boys " are not difficult to
recognise: "Harry-Parry" (Liddon), who had
been trying to make " Pussy " stand on one leg ;
"a Chase in the Hall" (Dr. Chase of St. Mary's);
"Sam," the heavy-" weight " (Dr. Wayte of
148 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Trinity) ; " Freddy . . . something of a Bully
at times" (Dr. Bulley of Magdalen); " Benjy
... oh the work we had with that boy till we
raised his allowance" (Dr. Jowett, recently elected
Master of Balliol) ; and " Arthur," who had gone
to Westminster (Dean Stanley), "a set of dear
good boys on the whole : they've only one real
Vice among them."]
THE BLANK CHEQUE,
A FABLE.
BY
THE AUTHOR OF
"THE NEW BELFRY
AND
"THE VISION OF THE THREE T'S.'
"Veil, perhaps, "said Sam, "you bought houses, vich is delicate English
for goin' mad ; or took to buildin', vich is a medical term for being
incurable."
i^rforlr :
JAMES PARKER AND CO.
1874
" Five o'clock tea " is a phrase that our " rude
forefathers," even of the last generation, would
scarcely have understood, so completely is it a
thing of to-day ; and yet, so rapid is the March
of Mind, it has already risen into a national insti-
tution, and rivals, in its universal application to
all ranks and ages, and as a specific for "all the
ills that flesh is heir to," the glorious Magna
Charta.
Thus it came to pass that, one chilly day in
March, which only made the shelter indoors seem
by contrast the more delicious, I found myself in
the cosy little parlour of my old friend, kind,
hospitable Mrs. Nivers. Her broad, good-
humoured face wreathed itself into a sunny
smile as I entered, and we were soon embarked
on that wayward smooth-flowing current of chat
about nothing in particular, which is perhaps the
most enjoyable of all forms of conversation. John
(I beg his pardon, " Mr. Nivers," I should say:
but he was so constantly talked of, and at, by
his better half, as " John," that his friends were
apt to forget he had a surname at all) sat in a
150
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 151
distant corner with his feet tucked well under his
chair, in an attitude rather too upright for com-
fort, and rather too suggestive of general collapse
for anything like dignity, and sipped his tea in
silence. From some distant region came a sound
like the roar of the sea, rising and falling, suggest-
ing the presence of many boys ; and indeed I
knew that the house was full to overflowing of
noisy urchins, overflowing with high spirits and
mischief, but on the whole a very creditable set
of little folk.
" And where are you going for your sea-side
trip this summer, Mrs. Nivers?"
My old friend pursed up her lips with a mys-
terious smile and nodded.
" Can't understand you," I said.
''You understand me, Mr. De Ciel, just as well
as I understand myself, and thats not saying
much, /don't know where we're going : John
doesn't know where we're going — but we're cer-
tainly going somewhere; and we shan't even know
the name of the place till we find ourselves there!
Now are you satisfied ? "
I was more hopelessly bewildered than ever.
'l One of us is dreaming, no doubt," I faltered ;
" or — or perhaps I'm going mad, or--
152 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
The good lady laughed merrily at my discom-
fiture.
"Well, well! It's a shame to puzzle you so,"
she said. "I'll tell you all about it. You see,
last year we couldrit settle it, do what we would.
John said * Herne Bay,' and / said * Brighton,'
and the boys said 4 somewhere where there's a
circus,' not that we gave much weight to that, you
know ; well, and Angela (she's a growing girl,
and we've got to find a new school for her this
year) ; she said * Portsmouth, because of the
soldiers ' ; and Susan (she's my maid, you know),
she said ' Ramsgate.' Well, with all those con-
trary opinions, somehow it ended in our going
nowhere ; and John and I put our heads together
last week, and we settled that it should never
happen again. And now, how do you think
we've managed it ? "
"Quite impossible to guess," I said dreamily,
as I handed back my empty cup.
" In the first place," said the good lady, "we
need change sadly. Housekeeping worries me
more every year, particularly with boarders — and
John will have a couple of gentlemen-boarders
always on hand ; he says it looks respectable, and
that they talk so well, they make the House
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 153
quite lively. As if / couldn't talk enough for
him !
11 It isn't that ! " muttered John. " It's—
" They're well enough sometimes," the lady
went on (she never seemed to hear her husband's
remarks), " but I'm sure when Mr. Prior Burgess
was here, it was enough to turn one's hair grey !
He was an open-handed gentleman enough — as
liberal as could be — but far too particular about
his meals. Why, if you'll believe me, he wouldn't
sit down to dinner without there were three
courses. We couldn't go on in that style, you
know. I had to tell the next boarder he must
be more hardy in his notions, or I could warrant
him we shouldn't suit each other."
"Quite right," I said. " Might I trouble you
for another half cup ? "
4< Seaside air we must have, you see," Mrs.
Nivers went on, mechanically taking up the tea-
pot, but too much engrossed in the subject to do
more, "and as we can't agree where to go, and
yet we must go somewhere — did you say half a
cup ? "
"Thanks," said I. "You were going to tell
me what it was you settled."
"We settled," said the good lady, pouring out
154 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
the tea without a moment's pause in her flow of
talk, "that the only course was (cream I think
you take, but no sugar? Just so) was to put the
whole matter — but stop, John shall read it all out
to you. We've drawn up the agreement in writing
— quite ship-shape, isn't it, John? Here's the
document : John shall read it you — and mind
your stops, there's a dear ! "
John put on his spectacles, and in a tone of
gloomy satisfaction (it was evidently his own com-
position) read the following :—
" Be it hereby enacted and decreed,
" 7^/iat Susan be appointed for the business of
choosing a watering-place for this season, and find-
ing a New School for Angela.
' ' That Susan be empowered not only to procure
plans, but to select a plan, to submit the estimate
for the execution of such plan to the Housekeeper,
and, if the Housekeeper sanction the proposed ex-
penditure, to proceed with the execution of siich
plan, and to fill z// the Blank Cheque for the whole
expense incurred."
Before I could say another word the door burst
open, and a whole army of boys tumbled into the
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 155
room, headed by little Harry, the pet of the family,
who hugged in his arms the much-enduring parlour
cat, which, as he eagerly explained in his broken
English, he had been trying to teach to stand on
one leg.
" Harry- Parry Ridy-Pidy Coachy-Poachy ! "
said the fond mother, as she lifted the little
fellow to her knee and treated him to a jog-trot.
" Harry's very fond of Pussy, he is, but he mustn't
tease it, he mustn't ! Now go and play on the
stairs, there's dear children. Mr. De Ciel and I
want to have a quiet talk." And the boys tumbled
out of the room again, as eagerly as they had
tumbled in, shouting, " Let's have a Chase in the
Hall ! "
"A good set of heads, are they not, Mr. De
Ciel ? " my friend continued, with a wave of her
fat hand towards the retreating army. " Phreno-
logists admire them much. Look at little Sam,
there. He's one of the latest arrivals, you know,
but he grows — mercy on us, how that boy does
grow ! You've no idea what a Weight he is !
Then there's Freddy, that tall boy in the corner :
he's rather too big for the others, that's a fact —
and he's something of a Bully at times, but the
boy has a tender heart, too ; give him a bit of
156 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
poetry, now, and he's as maudlin as a girl ! Then
there's Benjy, again : a nice boy, but I daren't tell
you what he costs us in pocket money ! Oh, the
work we had with that boy till we raised his
allowance! Hadn't we, John?" ("John" grunted in
acquiescence). "It was Arthur took up his cause
so much, and worried poor John and me nearly
into our graves. Arthur was a very nice boy,
Mr. De Ciel, and as great a favourite with the
other boys as Harry is now, before he went to
Westminster. He used to tell them stories, and
draw them the prettiest pictures you ever saw !
Houses that were all windows and chimnies —
what they call ' High Art,' I believe. We tried
a conservatory once on the High- Art principle,
and (would you believe it ?) the man stuck the
roof up on a lot of rods like so many knitting
needles ! Of course it soon came down about our
ears, and we had to do it all over again. As I
said to John at the time, 'If this is High Art, give
me a little more of the Art next time, and a little
less of the High ! ' He's doing very well at WTest-
minster, I hear, but his tutor writes that he's
very asthmatic, poor fellow—
" Esthetic, my dear, aesthetic ! " remonstrated
John.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 157
''Ah, well, my love," said the good lady, "all
those long medical words are one and the same
thing to me. And they come to the same thing
in the Christmas bills, too ; they both mean
' Draught as before ' ! Well, well ! They're a set
of dear good boys on the whole : they've only
one real Vice among them — but I shall tire you,
talking about the boys so much. What do you
think of that agreement of ours ? "
I had been turning the paper over and over in
my hands, quite at a loss to know what to say to
so strange a scheme. " Surely I've misunderstood
you ? " I said. " You don't mean to say that
you've left the whole thing to your maid to settle
for you ? "
" But that's exactly what I do mean, Mr. De
Ciel," the lady replied a little testily. " She's a
very sensible young person, I can assure you.
So now, wherever Susan chooses to take us, there
we go ! " (" There we go ! There we go ! " echoed
her husband in a dismal sort of chant, rocking
himself backwards and forwards in his chair.)
" You've no idea what a comfort it is to feel that
the whole thing's in Susan's hands ! "
" Go where Susan takes thee," I remarked, with
a vague idea that I was quoting an old song.
158 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
" Well, no doubt Susan has very correct taste,
and all that — but still, if I might advise, I
wouldn't leave all to her. She may need a little
check—
" That's the very word, dear Mr. De Ciel ! "
cried my old friend, clapping her hands. " And
that's the very thing we've done, isn't it, John? "
(" The very thing we've done," echoed John). "I
made him do it only this morning. He has signed
her a Blank Cheque, so that she can go to any cost
she likes. It's such a comfort to get things settled
and off one's hands, you know! John's been
grumbling about it ever since, but now that I
can tell him it's your advice—
" But, my dear Madame," I exclaimed, " I
don't mean cheque with a ' Q ' ! "
—your advice," repeated Mrs. N., not
heeding my interruption, " why, of course he'll see
the reasonableness of it, like a sensible creature
as he is ! " Here she looked approvingly at her
husband, who tried to smile a " slow wise smile,"
like Tennyson's "wealthy miller," but I fear the
result was more remarkable for slowness than
for wisdom.
I saw that it would be waste of words to argue
the matter further, so took my leave, and did not
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 159
see my old friends again before their departure for
the sea-side. 1 quote the following from a letter
which I received yesterday from Mrs. Nivers :—
" MARGATE, April i.
11 DEAR FRIEND, — You know the old story of the
dinner-party, where there was nothing hot but the
ices, and nothing cold but the soup? Of this place
I may safely say that there is nothing high but the
prices, the staircases, and the eggs ; nothing low but
the sea and the company ; nothing strong but the
butter, and nothing weak but the tea ! "
From the general tenour of her letter I gather
that they are not enjoying it.
MORAL.
Is it really seriously proposed — in the University
of Oxford, and towards the close of the nineteenth
century (never yet reckoned by historians as part of
the Dark Ages] — to sign a Blank Cheque for the
expenses of building New Schools, before any esti-
mate has been made of those expenses — before any
plan has been laid before the University, from
which such an estimate could be made — before any
architect has been found to design such a plan —
before any Committee has been elected to find such
an architect ?
FINIS,
B. TERRY, ESQ., AND MRS. TERRY.
(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll.)
CHAPTER III
.ICE " ON THE STAGE m
THE only serious contributions to dramatic
criticism which Lewis Carroll made are
contained in two papers which appeared
in The Theatre, and which are reproduced
here by Mr. Clement Scott's kind permission.
A short appreciation of him, by one of his oldest
theatrical friends, Mr. A. W. Dubourg, will serve
as an introduction to them :
" I gathered from my intercourse with Lewis
Carroll that, subject to rigid limits as to the moral
character of the play, he had considerable sym-
pathy with the drama, believing that within those
limits the stage might have a valuable and eleva-
ting influence upon all classes of playgoers and
upon the public generally ; but with regard to the
slightest transgression of those limits he was
greatly sensitive, perhaps super-sensitive to the
161
162 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
mind of a layman, and I have known him leave
a theatre in the midst of a performance for a very
small deviation from the line he had marked out.
" He was particularly sensitive as to the use of
oaths on the stage — he strongly protested against
it, and I know that he once entered into a serious
controversy with a leading manager on the
subject. The stage will always be a potent
factor in social life, and the support accorded
by seriously minded persons like Lewis Carroll
will always tend to wholesomeness and moral
elevation, because this support will make good
things pay, and managers must look for profit
from what they give to the public.
" Lewis Carroll took a kindly interest in child-
life on the stage. I .always think that any little
girl of ten or twelve was potentially an ' Alice '
in his eyes ; and I know that many a kind and
generous act has he done for those stage-children
and their parents — persons oftentimes greatly in
want of substantial assistance.
''In conclusion, I should like to say these few
words about my personal intercourse with Lewis
Carroll.
" I knew well and greatly valued Charles
Dodgson in the friendly intercourse of life ; but
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 163
the friend of the fireside and the family dinner-
table was totally unlike the Lewis Carroll that
popular imagination would picture — a quiet
retiring, scholarlike person, full of interesting
and pleasant conversation, oftentimes with an
undercurrent of humour, and certainly with a
sense of great sensitiveness with regard to the
serious side of life. The very thought of being
lionised was utterly distasteful and abhorrent^
and I never heard him utter in conversation a
single telling sentence on the lines of * Alice ' or
the * Snark.' I may truthfully say that through-
out much friendly intercourse with Charles
Dodgson, the remembrance of which I value
greatly, I never met that exquisite humorist,
Lewis Carroll."
-ALICE" ON THE STAGE.
BY LEWIS CARROLL.
('The Theatre" April, 1887.)
" Look here ; here's all this Judy's clothes
falling to pieces again." Such were the pensive
words of Mr. Thomas Codlin ; and they may
164 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
fitly serve as a motto for a writer who has set
himself the unusual task of passing in review a
set of puppets that are virtually his own — the
stage embodiments of his own dream-children.
Not that the play itself is in any sense mine.
The arrangements, in dramatic form, of a story
written without the slightest idea that it would be
so adapted, was a task that demanded powers
denied to me, but possessed in an eminent degree,
so far as I can judge, by Mr. Savile Clarke. I
do not feel myself qualified to criticise his play, as
a play ; nor shall I venture on any criticism of
the players as players.
What is it, then, I have set myself to do ?
And what possible claim have I to be heard ?
My answer must be that, as the writer of the
two stories thus adapted, and the originator (as
I believe, for at least I have not consciously
borrowed them) of the "airy nothings" for which
Mr. Saville Clarke has so skilfully provided, if
not a name, at least, a "local habitation," I may
without boastfulness claim to have a special know-
ledge of what it was I meant them to be, and so
a special understanding of how far that intention
has been realised. And I fancied there might be
some readers of The Theatre who would be inte-
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 165
rested in sharing that knowledge and that under-
standing.
Many a day had we rowed together on that
quiet stream — the three little maidens and I — and
many a fairy tale had been extemporised for their
benefit — whether it were at times when the nar-
rator was " i' the vein," and fancies unsought came
crowding thick upon him, or at times when the
jaded Muse was goaded into action, and plodded
meekly on, more because she had to say some-
thing than that she had something to say — yet
none of these many tales got written down : they
lived and died, like summer midges, each in its
own golden afternoon until there came a day
when, as it chanced, one of my little listeners
petitioned that the tale might be written out for
her. That was many a year ago, but I distinctly
remember, now as I write, how, in a desperate
attempt to strike out some new line of fairy-lore,
I had sent my heroine straight down a rabbit-hole,
to begin with, without the least idea what was to
happen afterwards. And so, to please a child I
loved (I don't remember any other motive), I
printed in manuscript, and illustrated with my
own crude designs — designs that rebelled against
every law of Anatomy or Art (for I had never had
i66 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
a lesson in drawing) — the book which I have just
had published in facsimile. In writing it out, I
added many fresh ideas, which seemed to grow
of themselves upon the original stock ; and many
more added themselves when, years afterwards, I
wrote it all over again for publication : but (this
may interest some readers of " Alice " to know)
every such idea and nearly every word of the
dialogue, came of itself. Sometimes an idea
comes at night, when I have had to get up and
strike a light to note it down — sometimes when
out on a lonely winter walk, when I have had to
stop, and with half-frozen fingers jot down a few
words which should keep the new-born idea from
perishing — but whenever or however it comes, it
comes of itself. I cannot set invention going like
a clock, by any voluntary winding up : nor do I
believe that any original writing (and what other
writing is worth preserving?) was ever so pro-
duced. If you sit down, unimpassioned and un-
inspired, and tell yourself to write for so many
hours, you will merely produce (at least I am
sure / should merely produce) some of that article
which fills, so far as I can judge, two-thirds of
most magazines — most easy to write most weary
to read — men call it " padding," and it is to my
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 167
mind one of the most detestable things in modern
literature. " Alice" and the u Looking-Glass "
are made up almost wholly of bits and scraps,
single ideas which came of themselves. Poor
they may have been ; but at least they were the
best I had to offer : and I can desire no higher
praise to be written of me than the words of a
Poet, written of a Poet,
" He gave the people of his best :
The worst he kept, the best he gave."
I have wandered from my subject, I know : yet
grant me another minute to relate a little incident
of my own experience. I was walking on a hill-
side, alone, one bright summer day, when suddenly
there came into my head one line of verse — one
solitary line — " For the Snark was a Boojum, you
see." I knew not what it meant, then : I know
not what it means, now ; but I wrote it down :
and, some time afterwards, the rest of the stanza
occurred to me, that being its last line : and so by
degrees, at odd moments during the next year or
two, the rest of the poem pieced itself together,
that being its last stanza. And since then, peri-
odically I have received courteous letters from
strangers, begging to know whether "The Hunting
1 68 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
of the Snark " is an allegory, or contains' some
hidden moral, or is a political satire : and for all
such questions I have but one answer, " / dorit
knozv f " And now I return to my text, and will
wander no more.
Stand forth, then, from the shadowy past,
" Alice," the child of my dreams. Full many a
year has slipped away, since that ''golden after-
noon " that gave thee birth, but I can call it up
almost as clearly as if it were yesterday — the
cloudless blue above, the watery mirror below,
the boat drifting idly on its way, the tinkle of the
drops that fell from the oars, as they waved so
sleepily to and fro, and (the one bright gleam of
life in all the slumberous scene) the three eager
faces, hungry for news of fairy-land, and who
would not be said "nay" to: from whose lips
"Tell us a story, please," had all the stern im-
mutability of Fate !
What wert thou, dream-Alice, in thy foster-
father's eyes? How shall he picture thee?
Loving, first, loving and gentle : loving as a dog
(forgive the prosaic simile, but I know no earthly
love so pure and perfect), and gentle as a fawn :
then courteous — courteous to all, high or low,
grand or grotesque, King or Caterpillar, even as
MISS BEADEN AS "THE ROSE" IN "ALICE IN WONDERLAND" AT THE
ROYAL OPERA COMIQUE THEATRE, LONDON, 1898.
(From a photograph by the \Lomlon Stereoscopic Company.)
170 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
though she were herself a King's daughter, and
her clothing of wrought gold : then trustful, ready
to accept the wildest impossibilities with all that
utter trust that only dreamers know ; and lastly,
curious — wildly curious, and with the eager enjoy-
ment of Life that comes only in the happy hours
of childhood, when all is new and fair, and when
Sin and Sorrow are but names — empty words
signifying nothing !
And the White Rabbit, what of him ? Was he
framed on the " Alice " lines, or meant as a con-
trast ? As a contrast, distinctly. For her " youth,"
"audacity," "vigour," and "swift directness of
purpose," read "elderly," "timid," "feeble," and
"nervously shilly-shallying," and you will get
something of what I meant him to be. I think
the White Rabbit should wear spectacles. I am
sure his voice should quaver, and his knees
quiver, and his whole air suggest a total inability
to say " Bo " to a goose !
But I cannot hope to be allowed, even by the
courteous Editor of The Theatre, half the space I
should need (even if my reader s patience would
hold out) to discuss each of my puppets one by
one. Let me cull from the two books a Royal
Trio — the Queen of Hearts, the Red Queen, and
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 171
the White Queen. It was certainly hard on my
Muse, to expect her to sing of three Queens,
within such brief compass, and yet to give to
each her own individuality. Each, of course, had
to preserve, through all her eccentricities, a certain
queenly dignity. That was essential. And for
distinguishing traits, I pictured to myself the
Queen of Hearts as a sort of embodiment of
ungovernable passion — a blind and aimless Fury.
The Red Queen I pictured as a Fury, but of
another type ; her passion must be cold and calm ;
she must be formal and strict, yet not unkindly ;
pedantic to the tenth degree, the concentrated
essence of all governesses ! Lastly, the White
Queen seemed, to my dreaming fancy, gentle,
stupid, fat and pale ; helpless as an infant ; and
with a slow, maundering, bewildered air about
her just suggesting imbecility, but never quite
passing into it ; that would be, I think, fatal to
any comic effect she might otherwise produce.
There is a character strangely like her in Wilkie
Collins' novel " No Name": by two different
converging paths we have somehow reached the
same ideal, and Mrs. Wragg and the White
Queen might have been twin-sisters.
As it is no part of my present purpose to find
172 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
fault with any of those who have striven so
zealously to make this "dream-play" a waking
success, I shall but name two or three who seemed
to me specially successful in realising the cha-
racters of the story.
None, I think, was better realised than the two
undertaken by Mr. Sydney Harcourt, "the
Hatter " and " Tweedledum." To see him
enact the Hatter was a weird and uncanny
thing, as though some grotesque monster, seen
last night in a dream, should walk into the
room in broad daylight, and quietly say " Good
morning ! " I need not try to describe what I
meant the Hatter to be, since, so far as I can now
remember, it was exactly what Mr. Harcourt has
made him : and I may say nearly the same of
Tweedledum : but the Hatter surprised me most
—perhaps only because it came first in the play.
There were others who realised my ideas nearly
as well ; but I am not attempting a complete
review : I will conclude with a few words about
the two children who played "Alice" and "the
Dormouse."
Of Miss Phcebe Carlo's performance it would
be difficult to speak too highly. As a mere effort
of memory, it was surely a marvellous feat for so
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 173
young a child, to learn no less than two hundred
and fifteen speeches — nearly three times as many
as Beatrice in "Much Ado About Nothing." But
what I admired most, as realising most nearly my
ideal heroine, was her perfect assumption of the
high spirits, and readiness to enjoy everything,
of a child out for a holiday. I doubt if any
grown actress, however experienced, could have
worn this air so perfectly ; we look before and
after, and sigh for what is not ; a child never does
this : and it is only a child that can utter from her
heart the words poor Margaret Fuller Ossoli so
longed to make her own, " I am all happy
now ! "
And last (I may for once omit the time-
honoured addition " not least," for surely no
tinier maiden ever yet achieved so genuine a
theatrical success ?) comes our dainty Dormouse.
" Dainty " is the only epithet that seems to me
exactly to suit her : with her beaming baby-face,
the delicious crispness of her speech, and the
perfect realism with which she makes herself the
embodied essence of Sleep, she is surely the
daintiest Dormouse that ever yet told us " I
sleep when I breathe ! " With the first words of
that her opening speech, a sudden silence falls
174 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
upon the house (at least it has been so every
time / have been there), and the baby tones
sound strangely clear in the stillness. And yet I
doubt if the charm is due only to the incisive
clearness of her articulation ; to me there was an
even greater charm in the utter self-abandonment
and conscientious thoroughness of her acting.
If Dorothy ever adopts a motto, it ought to be
" thorough." I hope the time may soon come
when she will have a better part than " Dor-
mouse " to play — when some enterprising manager
will revive the "Midsummer Night's Dream " and
do his obvious duty to the public by securing
Miss Dorothy d'Alcourt as " Puck " !
It would be well indeed for our churches if
some of the clergy could take a lesson in enuncia-
tion from this little child ; and better still, for u our
noble selves," if we would lay to heart some things
that she could teach us, and would learn by her
example to realise, rather more than we do, the
spirit of a maxim I once came across in an old
book, "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it
ivitk thy might."
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 175
THE STAGE AND THE SPIRIT OF
REVERENCE.
By LEWIS CARROLL.
("The Theatre? 'June, 1888.)
THIS article is not going to be a sermon in disguise.
This I protest, at the outset, knowing how entirely
usage — a mistaken usage, as I think — has limited
the word to religious topics only, and that the
reader is only too likely to turn this page hastily
over, muttering " Chacun a son gout. This is
meant for sectarians of some kind. / have no
such narrow sympathies. Talk to me as a man,
and I'll listen!"
But that is exactly what I want to do. I want
to talk to the play-going or play-writing reader,
who may honour me with his attention, as a man :
not as a churchman, not as a Christian, not even
as a believer in God — but simply as a man who
recognises (this, I admit, is essential) that there is
a distinction between good and evil ; who honours
good men and good' deeds, simple as being good ;
and who realises that from evil men and evil
deeds comes much, if not all, of the sorrow of
life.
176 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
And may not the word "good," also, have a
broader meaning than usage has assigned to it ?
May it not fairly include all that is brave, and
manly, and true in human nature ? Surely a man
may honour these qualities, even though he own
to no religious beliefs whatever ? A striking
example of this kind of " reverence " is recorded
of the robber-tribes of Upper Scinde, during Sir
Charles Napier's campaign (I quote from a lectuYe
by Robertson, of Brighton, on "The Influence of
Poetry on the Working Classes ") :—
"A detachment of troops was marching along
a valley, the cliffs overhanging which were crested
by the enemy. A sergeant, with eleven men,
chanced to become separated from the rest by
taking the wrong side of a ravine, which they
expected soon to terminate, but which suddenly
deepened into an impassable chasm. The officer
in command signalled to the party an order to
return. They mistook the signal for a command
to charge ; the brave fellows answered with a cheer,
and charged. At the summit of the steep mountain
was a triangular platform, defended by a breast-
work, behind which were seventy of the foe. On
they went, charging up one of these fearful paths,
eleven against seventy. The contest could not
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 177
be doubtful with such odds. One after
o
another they fell : six upon the spot, the remainder
hurled backwards ; but not until they had slain
nearly twice their own number.
" There is a custom, we are told, amongst the
hillsmen, that when a great chieftain of their own
falls in battle, his wrist is bound with a thread
either of red or green, the red denoting the
highest rank. According to custom, they
stripped the dead, and threw their bodies over
the precipice. When their comrades came, they
found their corpses stark and gashed ; but round
both wrists of every British hero was twined the
red thread ! "
In "reverence" such as this I am happy to
believe that the standard reached on the Stage is
fully as high as in the literature of Fiction, and
distinctly higher than what often passes without
protest in Society.
Take, for instance, the treatment of vice. In
Fiction and in many a social circle, vice is con-
doned, and sentiments utterly vile and selfish
are freely expressed, in language that would be
hissed off the stage of a respectable theatre,
unless put into the mouth of the stage " villain."
In the " Silver King," as I saw it some years
13
178 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
ago, when the gentlemanly scoundrel, splendidly
acted by Mr. Willard, sent the coarser scoundrel,
who served as his tool on the hateful mission of
turning out of doors the poor mother whose child
was dying, it was good to hear the low fierce hiss
that ran through the audience as the old wretch
went off. Any one who witnessed that fine drama
would, I think, believe with me that those who
thus hiss — evil as their own lives may be in
some cases — yet have their better moments, when
the veil is lifted, when they see Sin in all its
native hideousness, and shudder at. the sight!
And, for an example of the sympathy shown by
play-goers for what is pure and good, I may-
recall the experience of a few weeks back, when I
went to see " The Golden Ladder " (produced by
the same conscientious actor and j^nager — Mr.
Wilson Barrett — who gave us* " The Silver
King "), and heard with delight the ripple of
applause which greeted the soliloquy of the
comical old greengrocer, Mr. George Barrett,
about his child, to whom he has given the
ambitious name "Victoria Alexandra."
"And I guv her them two names, because
they're the best two names as is ! " That ripple
of applause seemed to me to say, " Yes, the very
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 179
sound of those names — names which recall a
Queen whose spotless life has for many long
years been a blessing to her people, and a Prin-
cess who will worthily follow in her steps — is
sweet music to English ears ! "
The reader can no doubt recall many occasions
when Pit and Gallery have shown equally keen
sympathy with self-denial, generosity, or any of
the qualities that ennoble human nature. I will
content myself with two more examples.
Years ago I saw Mr. Emery play the hero of
" All is not Gold that Glitters "—a factory-owner,
with a rough manner but a tender heart ; and
I well remember how he "brought down the
house," when speaking of the " hands" employed
in his factory, with the words, " And a' couldn't
lie down and sleep in peace, if a' thowt there was
man, woman, or child among 'em as was going to
bed cold and hungry ! " What mattered it to us
that all this was fiction? That the " hands, "so
tenderly cared for, were creatures of a dream?
We were not " reverencing " that actor only, but
every man, in every age, that has ever taken
loving thought for those around him, that ever
" hath given his bread to the hungry, and hath
covered the naked with a garment."
MISS IRENK VANBRUGH.
(From a sketch by Lewis Carroll.)
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 181
My other example shall be a memory of the
greatest actor our generation has seen - - one
whose every word and gesture seemed inspired,
and made one feel "He has me in his power ; he
can make me laugh and weep as he will ! "• —I
mean Frederick Robson. Who, that ever saw
him in " The Porter's Knot," can forget the
delicious pathos of the scene where the old father,
who has sacrificed the earnings of a lifetime to
save his son's reputation and send him abroad, is
in an innocent conspiracy, with the girl to whom
his son is betrothed, to keep the old mother
happy by reading her a letter they pretend to
have come from her boy. Unknown to him, the
loving girl has resolved on giving her last earn-
ings to the old couple, and has added a postscript.
" Dear Mother, — I am getting on so well that I
send you this five-pound note," which the old
man, reading the letter to his wife, comes upon
so unexpectedly that he nearly betrays the whole
plot. Then came the " aside " - with that
humorous glance at the audience that none ever
gave as he did — " Well ! This here has growed
since the morning ! " And then, suddenly detect-
ing the loving stratagem, and shaking his fist at
the girl, "Oh, you little rascal!" As Borachio
i82 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
would say, " I tell this story vilely." Would that
any words of mine could convey to the reader the
infinite tenderness that breathed in those whis-
pered " words of unmeant bitterness ! "
And now, before narrowing the field of discus-
sion and considering how " reverence " is due to
subjects connected with religion, I wish to give to
this word also a broader sense than the conven-
tional one. I mean by it simply a belief in some
good and unseen being, above and outside human
life as we see it, to whom we feel ourselves
responsible. And I hold that " reverence " is due,
even to the most degraded type of " religion," as
embodying in a concrete form a principle which
the most absolute Atheist professes to revere in
the abstract.
These subjects may be classed under two
headings, according as they are connected with
the principle of good or with that of evil. Under
the first heading we may name the Deity, and
good spirits, the act of prayer, places of worship,
and ministers : under the second, evil spirits and
future punishment.
The "irreverence" with which such topics are
sometimes handled, both on and off the Stage,
may be partly explained by the fact (not unlikely
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 183
to be overlooked) that no word has a meaning
inseparably attached to it ; a word means what
the speaker intends by it, and what the hearer
understands by it, and that is all.
I meet a friend and say "Good morning!"
Harmless words enough, one would think. Yet
possibly, in some language he and I have never
heard, these words may convey utterly horrid and
loathsome ideas. But are we responsible for
this ? This thought may serve to lessen the
horror of some of the language used by the
lower classes, which, it is a comfort to remember,
is often a mere collection of unmeaning sounds, so
far as speaker and hearer are concerned.
And even where profane language seems really
blameworthy, as being consciously and delibe-
rately used, I do not think the worst instances
occur on the stage ; you must turn for such to
fashionable Society and popular Literature.
No type of anecdote seems so sure to amuse
the social circle as that which turns some familiar
Bible-phrase into a grotesque parody. Some-
times the wretched jest is retailed, half-apologeti-
cally, as said by a child, " and, of course," it is
added, " the child meant no harm!" Possibly:
but does the grown man mean no harm, who thus
1 84 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
degrades what he ought to treat with reverence,
just to raise a laugh ?
Again, can such jesting as that of the " In-
goldsby Legends," where evil spirits are treated
as subjects for uproarious merriment, be tolerated
by any one who realises what "evil" means,
whether in disembodied spirits (whose existence
he may possibly doubt) or in living men and
women ? Shall the curse of all the race, the
misery of all the ages, serve us for a passing
jest ?
But the lowest depths of conscious and deli-
berate irreverence that my memory recalls, have
been, I am sorry to say, the utterances of reverend
jesters. I have heard, from the lips of clergymen,
anecdotes whose horrid blasphemy outdid any-
thing that would be even possible on the Stage.
Whether it be that long familiarity with sacred
phrases deadens one's sense of their meaning, I
cannot tell : it is the only excuse I can think of :
and such a theory is partly supported by the
curious phenomenon (which the reader can easily
test for himself) that if you repeat a word a great
many times in succession, however suggestive it
may have been when you ' began, you will end by
divesting it of every shred of meaning, and almost
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 185
wondering how you could ever have meant any-
thing" by it !
How far can the Stage use of oaths, or phrases
introducing the name of the Deity, be justified ?
To me it is only when lightly and jestingly
uttered that they seem profane. Used gravely,
and for a worthy purpose, they are at any rate not
to be condemned by any appeal to the Bible : one
of the loveliest pieces of its prose-poetry, the well-
known " Entreat me not toje^ve thee," &c., ends
with an undeniablepatiC^The Lord do so to me,
and more als^vfT aught but death part thee and
me." And it is on Society, rather than on the
Stage, that we should lay the blame of the light
use of such language, common in the last genera-
tion, when such phrases as " My God ! " "Good
Lord ! " were constantly used as mere badinage,
and when so refined a writer as Miss Austen
could make a young lady say (in " Pride and
Prejudice") " Lord, how ashamed I should be
of not being married before three-and-twenty ! "
When quite common, such words possibly con-
veyed no meaning either to speaker or hearer :
in these days they jar on the ear, for their
strangeness forces us to realise their meaning.
When Shakespeare wrote " Much Ado," Beatrice's
1 86 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
" O God, that I were a man! I would eat his
heart in the market-place," and Benedick's " O
God, sir, here's a dish I love not ; I cannot
endure my lady Tongue," no doubt fell with
equally innocent effect on the ear : but in our day,
though the first may well be retained, as gravely
said and on a worthy occasion, the second comes
as a false note, and I think Mr. Irving, instead of
toning it down into " O Lord ! " would have done
better by omitting it altogether.
The act of prayer is almost uniformly treated
with reverence on the Stage. My experience
furnishes only one instance to the contrary, where
the heroine of a ballet, supposed to be in her
chamber at night, and soon to be serenaded by
her lover at the window, went through the horrid
mockery of kneeling in semblance of prayer.
But I see no objection to its introduction on the
Stage, if reverently represented, as in the scene
in " Hamlet," where Claudius is found praying :
and I well remember the grand effect produced
by Charles Kean (in " Henry V.," just before the
battle of Agincourt), by kneeling, for a short
passionate prayer, on the battle-field.
Places of worship, also, when made the sub-
jects of stage representation, are usually treated
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 187
with perfect propriety : one must turn to the
orgies of the Salvation Army, or the ribaldry of
the street preacher, to realise how far religion can
be vulgarised, and with what loathsome familiarity
the holiest themes can be insulted. We have
lately been privileged to see an instance of exqui-
site taste and reverent handling in the church-
scene in " Much Ado r> at the Lyceum. Some
objected, at the time, to any such scene being put
on the Stage, yet probably none of its censors
would condemn "sacred" pictures? And surely
the distinction between a picture painted on
canvas, and a picture formed by living figures on
a stage is more fanciful than real ? To me the
solemn beauty of that scene suggested the hope
that some might see it — some to whom the ideas
of God, or heaven, or prayer, were strange — and
might think "Is this what church is like ? I'll
go and see it for myself ! " Yet one false note
there certainly was to mar the beauty of that
scene. The dialogue between Beatrice and
Benedick, with all its delicate banter and refined
comedy, spoken amid such surroundings, must
have given pain to many to whom the special
scene had been a pure delight. I heartily wish
Mr. Irving could see his way to transfer it to the
1 88 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
outside of the church. Surely a manager, who
could endure an interpolation so utterly alien to
the spirit of the scene as " Kiss my hand again ! "
can have no very strong feeling about keeping
the text of Shakespeare inviolate !
As for ministers of religion, I would not seek
to shield them from ridicule when they deserve it ;
but is it not sometimes too indiscriminate ? Mr.
Gilbert — to whom we owe a deep debt of gratitude
for the pure and healthy fun he has given us in
such comedies as " Patience "—seems to have
a craze for making bishops and clergymen con-
temptible. Yet are they behind other professions
in such things as earnestness, and hard work, and
devotion of life to the call of duty ? That clever
song, " The pale young curate," with its charming
music, is to me simply painful. I seem to see
him as he goes home at night, pale and worn
with the day's work, perhaps sick with the
pestilent atmosphere of a noisome garret where,
at the risk of his life, he has been comforting a
dying man — and is your sense of humour, my
reader, .so keen that you can laugh at that man ?
Then at least be consistent. Laugh also at that
pale young doctor, whom you have summoned
in such hot haste to your own dying child : ay,
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 189
and laugh also at that pale young soldier, as he
sinks on the trampled battlefield, and reddens the
dust with his life-blood for the honour of Old
England !
Still, the other side of this picture is now and
again given us on the Stage, and one could not
desire a more gentle and lovable type of old age
than the " Vicar of Wakefield," as played by
Mr. Irving, or a more manly and chivalrous
hero than the young clergyman in "The Golden
Ladder," played by Mr. Wilson Barrett.
The common treatment of such subjects as
evil spirits must be regarded from a fresh stand-
point. " What reverence," it might fairly be
asked, " is due to the Devil, whether we believe
that such a being exists or not ? " My answer is,
that seriousness at least is due in dealing with
such subjects. The darkest deeds of lust or
cruelty that have blasted human happiness have
often seemed to the guilty wretch to be due
to influences other than his own thoughts : but,
even setting aside such evidence, the whole
subject is too closely bound up with the deepest
sorrows of life to be fit matter for jesting. Yet
how often one hears in Society the ready laughter
with which any sly allusion to the Devil is re-
190 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
ceived — ay, even by clergymen themselves, who,
if their whole life be not one continuous lie, do
believe that such a being exists, and that his
existence is one of the saddest facts of life.
In this respect I think the tone of the Stage
not lower than — I doubt if it be so low as — that
of Society. Such a picture as Irving gives us
of " Mephistopheles " must surely have a healthy
influence. Who can see it and- not realise,
with a vividness few preachers could rival, the
utter hatefulness of sin ?
The same claim, for seriousness of treatment,
may be made as to the subjects of Hell and
future punishment. In the last generation the
Stage, in its constant light use of words, con-
nected with "damnation," was simply following
the lead of Society ; and it is satisfactory to
notice that the idle curses, no longer heard in
respectable Society, are fast vanishing from the
Stage. Let me mention one instance of false
treatment of this subject on the Stage, and con-
clude with two of the better kind.
I have never seen Mr. Gilbert's clever play
" Pinafore " performed by grown-up actors : as
played by children, one passage in it was to me
sad beyond words. It occurs when the captain
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 191
utters the oath " Damn me ! " and forthwith a
bevy of sweet innocent-looking little girls sing,
with bright, happy looks, the chorus " He said
' Damn me ! ' He said ' Damn me ! ' I cannot
find words to convey to the reader the pain I felt
in seeing those dear children taught to utter such
words to amuse ears grown callous to their ghastly
meaning. Put the two ideas side by side — Hell
(no matter whether you believe in it or not :
millions do), and those pure young lips thus
sporting with its horrors — and then find what
fun in it you can! How Mr. Gilbert could have
stooped to write, or Sir Arthur Sullivan could
have prostituted his noble art to set to music such
vile trash, it passes my skill to understand.
But I am no such purist as to object to all such
allusions : when gravely made, and for a worthy
purpose, they are, I think, entirely healthy in
their effect. When the hero of " The Golden
Ladder," claimed as prisoner by a French officer
is taken under the protection of a British captain
(finely played by Mr. Bernage), and the French-
man's " He is my prison-erre ! " is met by the
choleric captain's stentorian reply, "Then, damn
it, come on board my ship and take him ! " the
oath did not sound " irreverent " in any degree.
Q. F. TWISS, ESQ., CH. CH., AS "THE ARTFUL DODGER."
(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll.)
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 193
Here was no empty jesting: all was grim
earnest !
One more example, and I have done. No
dramatic version of " David Copperfield " would
do justice to the story if it failed to give the scene
after Steerforth has eloped with " little Em'ly,"
leaving her betrothed, Ham Peggotty, a broken-
hearted man. Ham has brought the news to his
father, and David is present.
" Mas'r Davy," implored Ham, "go out a bit,
and let me tell him what I must. You doen't
ought to hear it, sir."
"I want to know his name!" I heard said,
once more.
"For some time past," Ham faltered, "there's
been a servant about here at odd times. There's
been a gen'lm'n, too. ... A strange chay and
horses was outside town this morhingf. . . . When
o
the servant went to it, Em'ly was nigh him. The
t'other was inside. He's the man."
" For the Lord's love," said Mr. Peggotty,
falling back, and putting out his hand, as if to
keep off what he dreaded, " doen't tell me his
name's Steerforth ! "
" Mas'r Davy," exclaimed Ham, in a broken
voice, " it ain't no fault of yourn — and I am far
14
194 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
from laying of it to you — but his name is Steer-
forth, and he's a damned villain ! "
The critic who would exclaim, on witnessing
such a scene, "Shocking irreverence! That
oath ought to be cut out ! " attaches a meaning
to the word " irreverence " with which I have
no sympathy.
May I conclude with an allusion to the distinctly
dramatic tone of much of the language of the
Bible ? In doing so I make no special appeal
to Christians : any one, who possesses any literary
taste at all, will admit that, for poetry and simple
pathos, it stands high in the literature of the
world. Much of the vivid force of the parables
depends on their dramatic character : one fancies,
in reading the parable of the " Sower," that the
recital was illustrated by the actual events of the
moment : one pictures a neighbouring hill-side,
with its sharp sky-line, along which slowly moves
a figure, seen clear and black against the bright
sky, and giving, by the regular swing of his arm,
a sort of rhythmic cadence to the words of the
speaker.
Whether the parable of " The Prodigal Son "
has ever served as the basis of a drama I know
not : the general idea has no doubt been so used
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 195
again and again : but the story, as it stands,
simply translated into modern life, would make a
most effective play.
The First Act, with the splendour of the
wealthy home, would be in picturesque contrast
with the Second, where we should find the
spendthrift in gaudy and ostentatious vulgarity,
surrounded by unmanly men and unwomanly
women, wasting his substance in the " far
country." The Third might depict his downward
career, ending in a deep despair — then the revulsion
of feeling — then the pathetic words "I will arise,
and go to my Father ! " and when the Fourth
Act took us back to the ancestral halls, and
showed us the wretched outcast, pausing irresolute
at the door, mocked by a troop of listless menials,
who would fain drive the beggar back to starva-
tion and death, and the old father rushing forth
to clasp the wanderer to his breast — might not
some eyes, even among the roughs of the Gallery,
be " wet with most delicious tears," and some
hearts be filled with new and noble thoughts, and
a spirit of " reverence " be aroused, for "what-
soever things are just, whatsoever things are
pure, whatsoever things are lovely," which would
not lightly pass away ?
THE "LEWIS CARROLL" cox.
(From a photograph by Messrs. Bedford, Lemere & Co., 147, Strand, W.C.)
CHAPTER IV
AN IRRESPONSIBLE CORRESPONDENT
IT is as a writer of children's stories that Lewis
Carroll is best known ; his mathematical and
logical works, the viewrs which he expressed
with so much emphasis on the chief religious and
ethical questions of the day have made little
effect on the public compared with the adventures
of Alice. With this fact in view, it is not sur-
prising that while all his letters are interesting,
and some even brilliant, it is those which he
wrote to children that have been most widely
read and appreciated. In " The Life and Letters
of Lewis Carroll " I included a considerable
number of these letters ; but, since the publica-
tion of that book, many more have come into my
hands, and the present seems a favourable oppor-
tunity to introduce them to a larger public than
that for which they were originally intended.
197
198 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Lewis Carroll was one of those men who are
blessed at times with moods too frivolous to
admit of expression in the ordinary modes of
speech and writing. It was at such times
as these, when he was himself, in all but
age and ignorance, a child, that he indited the
letters which comprise the present chapter. I
have arranged them in the most haphazard way,
and without any attempt at logical or any other
sequence ; written upon the impulse of the
moment, in some splendid fit of midsummer
madness, it would be a sacrilege to treat them
au grand serieux.
To Miss Henrietta, and Master Edwin Dodgson.
"CH. CH.rt;
"Mv DEAR HENRIETTA,
" MY DEAR EDWIN,
" I am very much obliged by your nice little birthday
gift — it was much better than a cane would have been — I
have got it on my watch-chain, but the Dean has not yet
remarked it.
" My one pupil has begun his work with me, and I will
give you a description how the lecture is conducted. It is
the most important point, you know, that the tutor should be
dignified and at a distance from the pupil, and that the pupil
should be as much as possible degraded*
11 Otherwise, you know, they are not humble enough.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 199
" So I sit at the further end of the room ; outside the door
(ivhich is shut) sits the scout : outside the outer door (also
shut) sits the sub-scout : half-way downstairs sits the sub- sub-
scout ; and down in the yard sits the pupil.
"The questions are shouted from one to the other, and
the answers come back in the same way — it is rather confusing
till you are well used to it. The lecture goes on something
like this : —
" Tutor. What is twice three ?
" Scout. What's a rice tree ?
" Sub- Scout. When is ice free ?
" Sub-sub- Scout. What's a nice fee?
" Pupil (timidly). Half a guinea !
" Sub-sub-Scout. Can't forge any !>
" Sub-Scout. Ho for Jinny !
" Scout. Don't be a ninny !
" Tutor (looks offended, but tries another question). Divide a
hundred by twelve !
" Scout. Provide wonderful bells !
" Sub-Scout. Go ride under it yourself !
" Sub-sub-Scout. Deride the dunder-headed elf !
" Pupil (surprised). Who do you mean?
" Sub-sub-Scout. Doings between !
" Sub-Scout. Blue is the screen !
" Scout. Soup-tureen !
" And so the lecture proceeds.
" Such is Life.
" from
" Your most affect, brother,
" CHARLES L. DODGSON.
The above letter was written by Lewis Carroll
2co THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
shortly after he had obtained his studentship, to
his youngest brother and sister. The Rev.
Edwin Dodgson went afterwards to Twyford
School ; Lewis Carroll used to say of him that
he was " well-intentioned but vulgar," and, after
his first term at school, his verdict was that he
was " less well-intentioned and more vulgar."
The Misses Winifred and Enid Stevens were
two of Mr. Dodg-son's Oxford child friends. To
o
the latter he dedicated " Sylvie and Bruno Con-
cluded " ; the third letters of the lines at the
beginning of the book spell her name.
"My friendship with Mr. Dodgson," writes
Mrs. Hawke (Miss Winifred Stevens), " spread
over about ten years of my child- and girlhood ;
and my recollections of it are chiefly of long
walks round Oxford, blissful days in town, and
many pleasurable hours spent in the treasure-
house of his rooms in Christ Church, where — no
matter how often one went — there was always
something fresh to be seen, something new and
strange to hear. I shall not easily forget his
showing me Mr. Furniss's original drawings for
' Sylvie and Bruno,' before that book was pub-
lished, and his reading to me — as a secret — the
<"*>
now famous Gardener's rhymes ! "
OXE OF THE ILLUSTRATIONS IX "THE TWO VOICES" (A POEM
REPUBLISHED IN " RHYME ? AND REASON ? ").
(From an etching by Lewis Carroll in " Misch-Masch")
202 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
"CH.Cn.,May 22, 1887.
"Mv DEAR WINNIE, — But you will be getting tired of
this long letter : so I will bring it to an end, and sign
myself,
" Yours affectionately,
"C. L. DODGSON.
" P.S. — I enclose 2 copies of * Castle Croquet.'
"P.P.S. — You have no idea what a struggle it was to me
to put ' Winnie,' instead of ' Miss Stevens,' and ' Affection-
ately ' instead of * Yours truly ! '
"P.P.P.S. — The year after next, or thereabouts, I hope to
find an opportunity to take you for another walk. By that
time, I fear, Time will have begun to write ' wrinkles on your
azure brow ' ; however, / don't care ! A really venerable
companion makes one look youthful oneself, and I shall like
to hear people whisper to each other, ' Who in the world is
that very interesting-looking boy who is walking with that
old lady with snowy tresses, and taking as much care of her
as if she were his great-grandmother ? '
" P. P.P.P.S.— No time for more."
" 7, LUSHINGTON ROAD, EASTBOURNE.
11 Sept. 13, 1893.
" DEAREST ENID, — I've had it in my mind for ever so long,
* Enid would like to hear about your adventures at Eastbourne,'
and I've been meaning to write you a letter. But I am so
busy, dear child ! ' Sylvie and Bruno Concluded ' takes up
(when I'm in the humour for it, which I generally am, just
now) six or eight hours a day. And there are letters that
must be written. And a new thing has come to take up my
time ; last Sunday I preached the first sermon I ever preached
in Eastbourne, though I have come here for seventeen summers
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 203
(so my landlady says), and next Sunday I am to preach
another; and these take up a lot of time, thinking them
over.
" But the great difficulty is that adventures don't happen J
Oh, how am I to make some happen, so as to have something
to tell to my darling Enid ? Shall I go out and knock down
some man in the road ? (I should choose a little weak one,
you know.) That would indeed be an adventure, both for
him and for me. And my share of it would be the being
walked off by the policeman, and locked up in a cell at the
police-station. Then my adventures could be written to you.
Only / couldn't do it, you know — it would have to be done
by the policeman. ' Honord Mis, you will be pleazed to no
that Mr. Dodgson is now kicking at the dore of his sell—
I tuk him sum bred and warter jus now ; but he sed he
woodnt have eny. He sed as how heed just had his diner.'
How would you like that sort of thing, my Enid ?
" Well, here is a little adventure. I was taking a walk the
other day, and I came on a boy and girl about twelve and
ten years old ; and they seemed to be in some trouble ; and
they were carefully examining her. finger. So I said, ' Is
anything the matter ? ' And they told me she had just been
stung by a wasp. So I told them to put some hartshorn to
it as soon as they got home, and that would take away all
the pain. And I gave them a tiny lesson in chemistry, and
explained that, if you mix an acid and an alkali, they fizz
up, and the acid loses its acidity ; and that wasp's poison is
an acid, and hartshorn is an alkali. When I got home I
thought, ' Now I won't be so badly provided next time I come
across a stung little girl ' (or ' a little stung girl ' — which is the
best way to say it?). So I bought myself a little bottle of
strong ammonia (which is better than hartshorn), and I put
it in my pocket when I go a walk.
"And now, if it happens again, I can make the little girl
204 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
happy in a minute. But no little girl has ever got stung
since, that 7 have met with. Isn't it a sad, sad pity ?
Your very loving old friend,
" CHARLES L. DODGSON."
Mrs. Chivers Wilson (Miss Sarah Sinclair)
sends me the following poem, an acrostic on her
name, by Lewis Carroll, and two letters which he
wrote to herself and to her sister :—
LOVE AMONG THE ROSES.
" Seek ye Love, ye fairy-sprites?
And where reddest roses grow,
Rosy fancies he invites,
And in roses he delights,
Have ye found him ? " " No ! "
" Seek again, and find the boy
In Childhood's heart, so pure and clear."
Now the fairies leap for joy,
Crying, " Love is here ! "
" Love has found his proper nest ;
And we guard him while he dozes
In a dream of peace and rest
Rosier than roses."
LEWIS CARROLL.
Jan. 3, 1878.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 205
"Address, CH. CH., OXFORD.
"Jan. 22, 1878.
" MY DEAR JESSIE, — I liked your letter better than anything
I have had for some time. I may as well just tell you a few
of the things I like, and then, whenever you want to give me
a birthday present (my birthday comes once every seven years,
on the fifth Tuesday in April) you will know what to give me.
Well, I like, very much indeed, a little mustard with a bit of
beef spread thinly under it ; and I like brown sugar — only it
should have some apple pudding mixed with it to keep it
from being too sweet ; but perhaps what I like best of all is
salt, with some soup poured over it. The use of the soup is
to hinder the salt from being too dry ; and it helps to melt it.
Then there are other things I like ; for instance, pins — only
they should always have a cushion put round them to keep
them warm. And I like two or three handfuls of hair ; only
they should always have a little girl's head beneath them to
grow on, or else whenever you open the door they get blown
all over the room, and then they get lost, you know. Tell
Sally it's all very well to say she can do the two thieves and
the five apples, but can she do the fox and the goose and
the bag of corn ? That the man was bringing from market,
and he had to get them over a river, and the boat was so
tiny he could only take one across at a time ; and he couldn't
ever leave the fox and the goose together, for then the fox would
eat the goose ; and if he left the goose and the corn together,
the goose would eat the corn. So the only things he could
leave safely together were the fox and the corn, for you never
see a fox eating corn, and you hardly ever see corn eating a
fox. Ask her if she can do that puzzle.
" I think I'll come and see you again — suppose we say
once every two years ; and in about ten years I really think
we shall be good friends. Don't you think we shall? I
shall be very glad to hear from you whenever you feel inclined
5 TUJHES FROW KNGLISH TOUTS. XT" X
Be r^ier u. -tf* -trumpet'* mouth.
'Kt je;av8 it fe }ii/ iatAcr."
etchings by Lewis Carroll in " Misch-Masch")
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 207
to write, and from Sally too, if she likes to try her hand at
writing. If she can't write with her hand, let her try with
her foot. Neat foot-writing is a very good thing. Give my
love to her and Kate and Harry ; only mind you keep a
little for yourself.
" Your affectionate friend,
"LEWIS CARROLL.
" Thank your Mama for her letter which has just come."
"Thank Jessie " CH. CH., OXFORD,
for letter. "Feb. 9, 1878.
" MY DEAR SALLIK, — Please tell Jessie I meant it all for
nonsense, so I hope she won't give me a pincushion, for I've
got three already. I've forgotten what I said in my letter
to her, and she knows it all by heart ; so you see this is
what has happened — the letter has gone out of my mind
into her mind ; it is just like a person going into a new
house. I wonder if it found Jessie's mind warm and com-
fortable, and if it liked it as well as its old house ? I think^
when it first got in, it looked round and said, ' Oh dear, oh
dear ! I shall never be comfortable in this new mind ! I
wish I was back in the old one ! Why, here's a great awkward
sofa, big enough to hold a dozen people ! And it's got the
word ' KINDNESS ' marked on it. Why, I shan't be able
to have it all to myself. Now, in my old house there was
just one chair — a nice soft armchair that would just hold
me ; and it had the word ' SELFISHNESS ' marked on the back ;
so other people couldn't come bothering in, because there were
no chairs for them. And what a stupid little stool that is by
the fire, marked ' HUMILITY ' ! Ah, you should have seen
what a nice high stool there was in my old house ! Why, if
you sat on it you nearly knocked your head against the ceiling !
208 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
And it was marked ' CONCEIT,' of course ; that's a much nicer
name than ' HUMILITY.' Well, let's see what's in the cupboard.
In my old house there was just one large bottle of vinegar,
with a label on it, ' SOUR TEMPER,' but this cupboard is stuffed
full of jars ! Let's see what the names are. Oh dear, oh
dear ! Why, they're all full of sugar, and the labels are * LOVE
OF SALLIE,' ' LOVE OF KATE,' * LOVE OF HARRY ! ' Oh, I
can't have all this rubbish here ! I shall throw them all out
of the window ! '
" I wonder what this letter will say when it gets into your
mind ! And what will it find there, do you think ? I send
my love for Jessie and Kate and Harry and you, and four
kisses : that's just one a-piece. I hope they won't get broken
on the way.
" Yours affectionately,
"LEWIS CARROLL."
There must be many children whose recollec-
tions of summer holidays spent at Sandown and
Eastbourne bring back to them the quaint and
charming personality of 'Lewis Carroll, to whom
these places were " happy hunting grounds " in
his quest for " child friends." Miss Laura Plomer
(now Mrs. Horniman) was one of these, and I
believe there is somewhere a water-colour sketch
which Mr. Dodgson made of her on Sandown
beach, while the following poem was written by
him in a copy of " The Hunting of the Snark,"
which he gave her in 1876 :—
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 209
" Love-lighted eyes, that will not start
At frown of rage or malice !
Uplifted brow, undaunted heart
Ready to dine on raspberry-tart
Along with fairy Alice !
In scenes as wonderful as if
She'd flitted in a magic skiff
Across the sea to Calais :
Be sure this night, in Fancy's feast,
Even till Morning gilds the east,
Laura will dream of Alice !
Perchance, as long years onward haste,
Laura will weary of the taste
Of Life's embittered chalice :
May she, in such a woeful hour,
Endued with Memory's mystic power,
Recall the dreams of Alice !
"LEWIS CARROLL,
"June 17, 1876."
Another Sanclown friend was Miss Florence
Balfour (Mrs. Collier Foster), to whom the two
following letters were written :—
"Cn. CH., OXFORD.
" April 6, 1876.
" MY DEAR BIRDIE, — When you have read the * Snark,'
I hope you will write me a little note and tell me how
you like it, and if you can quite understand it. Some
children are puzzled with it. Of course you know what a
15
MISS ALICE LIDDELL (MRS. HARGREAVES).
(From a phologmph by Lewis Carroll.)
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 211
Snark is? If you do, please tell me: for I haven't an idea
what it is like. And tell me which of the pictures you
like best.
" Your affectionate friend,
"LEWIS CARROLL."
" CH. CH., OXFORD,
"Feb. 10, 1882.
" MY DEAR BIRDIE, — As are the feelings of the old lady
who, after feeding her canary and going out for a walk,
finds the cage entirely filled on her return, with a live
turkey — or of the old gentleman who, after chaining up a
small terrier overnight, finds a hippopotamus raging around
the kennel in the morning — such are my feelings when, trying
to recall the memory of a small child who went to wade in
the sea at Sandown, I meet with the astonishing photograph
of the same microcosm suddenly expanded into a tall young
person, whom I should be too shy to look at, even with
the telescope which would no doubt be necessary to get
any distinct idea of her smile, or at any rate to' satisfy
oneself whether she had eyebrows or not !
" There ! that long sentence has exhausted me, and I have
only strength to say, * Thank you very sincerely for the two
photographs.' — They are terribly lifelike ! Are you going to
be at Sandown next summer ? It is just possible I may be
running over there for two or three days ; but Eastbourne
is always my headquarters now.
" Believe me yours affectionately,
" C. L. DODGSON."
The next four letters are addressed to Miss
Helen Feilden (now Mrs. Paul Mason), a " child
212 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
friend " to begin with, but one of those whose
friendship with Mr. Dodgson outlasted child-
hood.
" CH. CH., OXFORD,
" March 15, 1873.
" MY DEAR HELEN, — Your Mamma gave me such a sad
description of your lonely life down at Torquay (if it is lonely,
at least : she didn't use that word^ I think — but that was
the kind of impression I had of it) and added that you
liked receiving letters there, to comfort you a little in the
misery of your existence (you know she didn't exactly say
' misery of existence,' but I think she must have meant it)
that I said I would try and write you a letter — it was very
prudent of me to say that, because I never could write a
letter in my life (my letters always end at the foot of the
first page) but anybody can try. This is my first trial, in
your case ; but I'm afraid it will fail — for what is there to
write about ? You don't know much about Oxford, I'm
afraid, so that you wouldn't care to hear what happens here
— and it's a good thing you don't, for nothing ever happens
here, I believe ! There never was such a place for things
not happening. And / don't know much about Torquay —
though I should like to know a little what your life is like
there. When you've any time for writing, tell me what sort
of life it is. I was down near Torquay two years ago, at
Babbacombe (or Mary Church : I'm not sure which it was
—perhaps they're the same place) — at all events it was at
Mr. Argles' house, at the side of the most lovely bay you
ever saw, with very steep rocky sides — -I wonder if you ever
were there? We walked into Torquay sometimes. I don't
think it can be more than two miles from you. Very likely
I may be going there again next July, or August — but I
MISS MARY MILLAIS.
(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll.)
214 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
suppose I shouldn't find you there then, should I ? — But
this is wandering from the point. I'm very glad you like
the volume of * Phantasmagoria,' and one thing I am writing
this for is, to ask you if you ever read my little fairy-story
called ' Bruno's Revenge,' which came out in Aunt Judy's
Magazine, some years ago. If you haven't, and would like
to see it (though it is quite a baby-story) I will lend you a
copy to read; I'm afraid I've got none at present for giving
away.
"I don't care much about fairies, as a general rule: and
that is the only time I ever tried to write about them : and
they've come out much more like children than fairies, after
all!
" I don't know if you are fond of puzzles, or not. If you
are, try this. If not, never mind. A gentleman (a noble-
man let us say, to make it more interesting) had a sitting-
room with only one window in it — a square window, 3 feet
high and 3 feet wide. Now he had weak eyes, and the
window gave too much light, so (don't you like * so ' in a
story?) he sent for the builder, and told him to alter it, so
as only to give half the light. Only, he was to keep it
square — he was to keep it 3 feet high— and he was to keep
it 3 feet wide. How did he do it? Remember, he wasn't
allowed to use curtains, or shutters, or coloured glass, or
anything of that sort.
" I must tell you an awful story of my trying to set a
puzzle to a little girl the other day. It was at a dinner-
party, at dessert. I had never seen her before, but, as she
was sitting next me, I rashly proposed to her to try the
puzzle (I daresay you know it) of ' the fox, and goose, and
bag of corn.' And I got some biscuits to represent the fox
and the other things. Her mother was sitting on the other
side, and said, ' Now mind you take pains, my dear, and do
it right!' The consequences were awful! She shrieked out
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 215
" I can't do it ! I can't do it ! Oh, Mamma ! Mamma ! "
threw herself into her mother's lap, and went off into a fit
of sobbing which lasted several minutes ! That was a lesson
to me about trying children with puzzles. I do hope the
square window won't produce any awful effects on you!
" I am,
" Your very affectionate friend,
" C. L. DODGSON."
"CH. CH., May 14, 1876.
" MY DEAR HELEN, — I am going to give myself the
pleasure of copying for you (what I hope will also give you
some pleasure to read) a letter written by Dr. Newman to
a young lady l thanking her for sending him a copy of the
' Snark.' I do not copy it for what he says about the book,
but about the Easter Letter —I value very much more any
appreciation of it than of the book — and I think it will
interest you, as you are one of the few who have taken any
notice of the Letter. The name of the young lady is Helen,
which gives you an additional claim to have a copy of her
letter.
" ' MY DEAR HELEN, — Let me thank you and your sisters
without delay, for the amusing specimen of imaginative non-
sense which came to me from you and them this morning.
Also, as being your gift, it shows that you have not forgotten
me, though a considerable portion of your lives has passed
since you saw me. And, in thanking you, I send you also
my warmest Easter greetings and good wishes.
" ' The little book is not all of it nonsense, though amusing
nonsense ; it has two pleasant prefixes of another sort. One
Miss Helen Church.
2i6 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
of them is the ' Inscription to a Dear Child ; ' the style of
which, in words and manner, is so entirely of the School of
Keble, that I think it could not have been written, had the
1 Christian Year- ' never made its appearance.
" ' The other, " The Easter Greeting to Every Child, &c.,"
s likely to touch the hearts of old men more than those
for whom it is intended. I recollect well my own thoughts
and feelings, such as the author describes, as I lay in my
crib in the early spring, with outdoor scents, sounds, and
sights wakening me up, and especially the cheerful ring of
the mower's scythe on the lawn, which Milton long before
me had noted ; — and how, in coming downstairs slowly, for
I brought down both feet on each step, I said to myself,
" This is June ! " though what my particular experience of
June was, and how it was broad enough to be a matter of
reflection I really cannot tell.
" ' Can't you, Mary, and Edith, recollect something of the
same kind, though you may not think so much of it as I do
now ?
" ' May the day come for all of us, of which Easter is the
promise, when that first spring may return to us, and a sweet-
ness which cannot die may gladden our garden.
" ' Ever yours affectionately,
" * JOHN H. NEWMAN.'
" Is it not beautiful ?
" Give my kindest regards to your Mother. I have thought
many times of her letter, but feel no hope of writing such
a book as she suggests. And now, humbly imitating Dr.
Newman, I will sign myself to my ' Helen,' as he does to
his,
" Ever yours affectionately,
" C. L. DODGSON."
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 217
"Cn. CH., OXFORD,
"Dec. i, 1878.
DEAR HELEN, — As Mrs. Lewis gives no hint that she
exets me to send back to her the enclosed letter from
Bancroft, I venture to send it on to you, thinking that
evyn apart from your own personal interest in its contents,
y<j u may like to have it as an autograph of one of the chief
s of the dramatic profession. The other autograph, which
you know) I have been trying to get for you, has not
appeared — why, I know not. Whether it is that Marion
Terry merely dislikes giving autographs as a general rule, or
whether she has (as is dimly possible) seen (and disliked) you
in some casual meeting in the street, or even (as is remotely
probable) has met you in society before you knew her by
sight, and there (as is easily credible) has been introduced to
you, preserving her own incognito under some fictitious name,
and having (as is reasonably likely) analysed, as far as time
allowed, your temper and character, has decided (as is hardly
duubtful) that it is not such as she could approve or even
tolerate, and has finally (as is morally certain) formed a rooted
repugnance to you and all connected with you — in either case
her conduct is sufficiently accounted for. Yet I must admit
that the latter explanation is founded, to a great extent, on
conjecture. In all this uncertainty one thing only is certain,
that I am, as ever,
" Affectionately yours,
"C. L. DODGSON."
"CH. CH., April 12, 1881.
" MY DEAR HELEN, — I have behaved very badly to you in
leaving your two interesting (they are always that) letters, the
first of them dated Dec. 4, 1880, so long unanswered. So,
before saying anything out of my own head, I will try to
make some appropriate remarks on them.
218 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
" And first, many thanks for your history of the ' Ober-
Ammergau Passion-Play' — I am very much interested in
reading accounts of that play ; and I thoroughly believe in
the deep religious feeling with which the actors go through it ;
but would not like to see it myself. I should fear that for
the rest of one's life the Gospel History and the accessories
of a theatre would be associated in the most uncomfortable
way. I am very fond of the theatre, but I had rather keep
my ideas and recollections of it quite distinct from those about
the Gospels.
" Next in your letter come many questions about the
Terrys. I have not seen any of them, to speak to, for a long
time ; but I went to the Haymarket and the Lyceum last
vacation. At the Haymarket I saw ' School,' in which Marion
plays charmingly. It was the i8th of January, the day of
that fearful storm in London, and the streets were all snow ; but
I had got tickets for three, so we braved it, two young ladies
(I hardly care to go to a theatre alone now) and self. The
theatre was nearly empty : about 100 stalls being empty out
of (116 I think it was.) Besides the 16 or so in the stalls,
there were 20 or 30 other people dotted about. I never saw
so curious a sight. The company seemed to think it rather
fun than otherwise ; or perhaps they wanted to reward the
few who had been brave enough to come. At any rate they
seemed to act their best.
" At the Lyceum (to which I took one of the loveliest
children in London — aged thirteen — I wish I could show her
to you) we saw 'The Cup' and 'The Corsican Brothers.' 'The
Cup ' is a lovely poem, and the scenery, grouping, &c., are
beyond all praise ; but really as a play there is nothing in it.
There are just two events in it. The villain (Mr. Irving)
tries to carry off Cam ma and kills her husband — and after-
wards wants her to marry him and share his throne. Where-
upon she does the (dramatically) obvious thing, accepts him,
MISS KATE TEKKY AS "ANDROMEDA."
[(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll.)
220 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
and makes a poisoned cup a very early ingredient of the
marriage ceremony. Both drink it, so both die. Why she
should die, Mr. Tennyson only knows ! I suppose he would
say, 'It gives a roundness and finish to the thing.' So it
may ; but a heroine who would poison herself for that must
have an almost morbid fondness for roundness and finish. I
must tell you, I think, of a graceful act of kindness on the
part of Miss Ellen Terry. I had happened to be writing to
her a few days before, and told her I was going to bring a
child who was an enthusiastic admirer of hers — (' She is like
the washerwoman in the Bab Ballads,' I said.; 'she long has
loved you from afar ') — and that we should be in the centre
of the stalls. So, after the ist Act of the * Corsican Brothers'
the box-keeper came along our row of stalls, and presented,
' With Miss Ellen Terry's compliments,' a roll of paper and
a lovely bouquet of violets. The roll we found contained one
of the illustrated books of the ' Corsican Brothers ' inscribed
in some such words as these — ' Gamma would have sent the
words of the " Cup," but they are not printed. So she begs
Agnes to accept this with her love. Given at our Temple
of Artemis — signed, Gamma.' Wasn't it pretty of her? The
child was in ecstasies of delight, and nursed the bouquet all
the way home. ' And you must send her heaps of love ! ' she
said ; ' you know she sent me her love ! ' I don't think I
ever saw her look so graceful as she does in the long
trailing silk robe (a light sea-green) which she wears as
' Gamma.'
" I haven't even seen Mdme Modjeska ; but every one,
that has i praises her. I am charmed with your neighbours in
the theatre, who supposed her to be playing Marie Stuart
ex tempore! ('Gagging the part,' to use stage-slang.)
"And now what can I say on my own account? Shall I
send you a Dutch version of ' Alice ' with about eight of the
pictures done large in colours ? It would do well to show to
\
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 221
little children. I think of trying a coloured ' Alice ' myself —
a ' Nursery edition.' What do you think of it ?
"If you won't think me very vain, I will add the verses I
sent Agnes to commemorate our visit to the Lyceum. I told
her they had been found on a torn piece of paper, of which
I sent a facsimile.
" Kindest regards to your Mother.
" Always your affectionately,
" C. L. DODGSON."
" It is the lawyer's daughter,
And she is grown so dear, so dear,
She costs me, in one evening,
The income of a year !
' You can't have children's love,' she cried,
' Unless you choose to fee 'em ! '
' And what's your fee, child ? ' I replied.
She simply said —
' We saw " The Cup." ' I hoped she'd say,
' I'm grateful to you, very.'
She murmured, as she turned away,
1 That lovely
' Compared with her, the rest,' she cried,
* Are just like to or three um-
' -berellas standing side by side !
' Oh, gem of
* We saw Two Brothers. I confess
To me they seemed one man.
' Now which is which, child ? Can you guess
She cried, ' A-course I can ! '
Bad puns like this I always dread,
And am resolved to flee 'em.
And so I left her there, and fled ;
She lives at "
222 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Some reminiscences from the pen of Mrs.
Samuel Bickersteth (Miss Ella Monier Williams)
follow ; the elaborate practical joke which she
describes must have afforded both her and Mr.
Dodgson a great deal of amusement, mixed at
first, no doubt, in her case, with some not unrea-
sonable disappointment.
" It is difficult to add anything to what has
already been written about Lewis Carroll, but as
one of the ' children ' whose love for him endured
beyond childhood, I should like to tell something
of the fascination of his friendship. As a child
he gave one the sense of such perfect under-
standing, and this knowledge of child nature was
the same whether the child was only seven years
of age, or in her teens. A ' grown-up ' child was
his horror. He called one day just after I had
' put my hair up,' and I, with girlish pride, was
pleased he should be there to see. My satisfaction
received a blow when he said, ' I will take you for
a walk if you let your hair down your back, but
not unless.' What girl could refuse the attraction
of a walk with him ? I speedily complied with
his request, and was rewarded by an hour of
happy companionship, mainly occupied as we
walked along by playing a game of croquet in our
224 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
heads. How it was done I cannot recollect, but
his clever original brain planned it out by some
system of mathematical calculation.
" A visit to Mr. Dodgson's rooms to be photo-
graphed was always full of surprises. Although
he had quaint fancies in the way he dressed his
little sitters, he never could bear a dressed-up
child. A ' natural child ' with ruffled untidy hair
suited him far better, and he would place her in
some ordinary position of daily life, such as
sleeping, or reading, and so produce charming
pictures. On one occasion he was anxious to
obtain a photograph of me as a child sitting up in
bed in a fright, with her hair standing on end as
if she had seen a ghost. He tried to get this
effect with the aid of my father's (the late Sir
Monier Monier Williams) electrical machine, but
it failed, chiefly I fear because I was too young
quite to appreciate the current of electricity that
had to be passed through me.
" In 1873 Lewis Carroll played a practical joke
on me which, however, ended quite amicably.
I had spent the summer of that year on the
Continent, and he had done the same. He called
at our house in Oxford early that November, and
in the course of conversation promised to lend
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 225
me the journal of his travels, if I would allow him
to have mine. I consented on the condition that
he showed it to no one, as the chance of reading
his journal was too good to miss.
" At the end of a fortnight he returned my
journal with this amusing letter :—
" ' Saturday.
k< ' MY DEAR ELLA, — I send you Vol. II. of my Journal,
and am much obliged to you for lending me yours. So far, I
have come upon very little that you need be unwilling for the
public to read. For I consider such sentences as : "July 10. —
Fractious all the evening, and went to bed in the sulks," and
again : " July 14. — Bought a new parasol, and sat out on the
balcony to be admired. A little girl passing by told me I
looked 'as stuck up as a peacock in its Sunday best.' I would
have broken the parasol over her head, only I couldn't reach
her," as quite natural and childlike.
" ' I suppose the passage that made you at first unwilling to
lend me the book was this one: "July 21. — At breakfast
Mamma objected to my taking more marmalade, saying I had
already helped myself three times * profusely.' I was so vexed
that I got hold of the tablecloth, and jerked all the plates and
things down upon the floor. Of course some were broken.
It wasn't my fault . As I told Mamma, my temper's as good
as gold, unless you provoke me. And then I'm a little queer
sometimes— But even this is a little incident that might
happen to any one. I don't think the worse of you for it
(because that would be impossible).
" * Your affect, friend,
" ' C. L. DODGSON.'
16
226 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
" A few days after I received the following :—
" ''November
" ' MY DEAR ELLA, — I return your book with many thanks;
you will be wondering why I kept it so long. I understand,
from what you said about it, that you have no idea of
publishing any of it yourself, and hope you will not be annoyed
at my sending three short chapters of extracts from it, to be
published in The Monthly Packet. I have not given any
names in full, nor put any more definite title to it than simply
" Ella's Diary, or The Experiences of an Oxford Professor's
Daughter, during a Month of Foreign Travel."
"'I will faithfully hand over to you any money I may receive
on account of it, from Miss Yonge, the editor of The Monthly
Packet.
" ' Your affect, friend,
" ' C. L. DODGSON.'
" I treated the whole matter as a hoax, and
wrote to tell him so, receiving this letter in
reply :—
.. .
MY DEAR ELLA, — I grieve to tell you that every word of
my letter was strictly true. I will now tell you more — that
Miss Yonge has not declined the MS., but she will not give
more than a guinea a chapter. Will that be enough ?
" * Yours affectionately,
" ' C. L. DODGSON.'
" This second letter succeeded in taking me in,
and with childish pleasure I wrote and said I did
:t •-*
1 3
228 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
not quite understand how it was my journal could
be worth printing, but expressed my pleasure.
I then received this letter :—
"<Mv DEAR ELLA, — I'm afraid I have hoaxed you too
much. But it really was true. I " hoped you wouldn't be
annoyed at my &c.," for the very good reason that I hadn't
done it. And I gave no other title than " Ella's Diary," nor
did I give that title. Miss Yonge hasn't declined it — because
she hasn't seen it. And I need hardly explain that she hasn't
given more than three guineas !
" * Not for three hundred guineas would I have shown it to
any one — after I had promised you I wouldn't.
" ' In haste,
" ' Yours affectionately,
" ' C. L. D.'
" I confess to having been rather disappointed,
but my love for Mr. Dodgson soon led me to his
rooms in Christ Church, where we laughed
together over the joke ; though I told him that I
had not forgiven him, and should not have gone
to see him, had I not wanted to see his pictures !
4 'When I married in 1881, he was then full of
his amusing game of Doublets, and wrote in his
congratulatory letter to my husband (the Rev.
Samuel Bickersteth) :—
" ' Do not make Ella wee^'
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 229
" On his replying that he did not know how to
do so, he showed him how to turn the first word
into the second in wondrous few changes.
" I last saw Mr. Dodgson about two years ago,
when we had a long talk in the library of the
Indian Institute at Oxford, and as he explained
to me at length his elaborate scheme for teaching
children logic and mathematics, there appeared
to me to be no diminution in his physical or
mental vigour, or in his love for children. Full
of mischievous teasing, as usual, he tried to prove
to me — the mother of six sons — how infinitely
superior he considered girls to boys. I little
thought it would be the last time I should meet
the man of so gentle and kindly a nature, whose
friendship enriched my childhood."
Of the remaining letters it is only necessary for
me to say that the first four were written by Mr.
Dodgson to his cousin, Miss Menella Wilcox, for
whom he wrote the song " Matilda Jane," which
readers of " Sylvie and Bruno " will remember ;
the next three to Miss Lucy Walters, a Guildford
friend ; the three following to Miss Dora Abdy,
and the last, a most characteristic specimen of his
more frivolous style of correspondence, to Miss
Evelyn Dubourg.
MISS E. DUBOURG AND MISS K. O REILLY.
(Front a photograph by Lewis Carroll.)
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 231
" 7, LUSHINGTON ROAD, EASTBOURNE,
"July 20, 1886.
" MY DEAR NELLA, — Many years ago, when you were quite
young, and before your hair had even begun to turn grey (do
you remember the time ?), I wrote for you (or rather for your
doll) a little song called ' Matilda Jane ' — if you happen still
to have it, or if you can remember it, I should be glad to have
the words. There were only four verses of it, so it ought not
to take you long to copy it out.
" I'm down here all alone, but as happy as a king — at least,
as happy as some kings — at any rate I should think I'm about
as happy as King Charles the First when he was in prison.
"C. L. DODGSON."
" CH. CH., OXFORD,
" October 20, 1878.
" MY DEAR NELLA, — Thank you very much for the napkin
ring, but do you know I never use anything of the sort, so I hope
you won't mind giving it to somebody else instead, and if you
really want to make something for me, make me a little bag
(say a square bag about the size of this note sheet) : that
would be really useful, and I should be really glad to have it.
And work your initials on it, and then I shall always remember
who made it for me. Now I'll tell you something. The other
day, at Eastbourne, I saw — what do you think? Of course you
guess 'a Snark.' Well, no ; it wasn't quite that, but it was very
near it. I went to see a lady who was taking care of a little
girl called ' Bibby ' (she comes from India and is seven years
old. I wish they would send her to your Mama to take care
of ; I am sure you would love her), and her little brother came
into the room, and I suppose he began doing some mischief or
other, for the lady called out suddenly, ' Oh, Boojum ! you
mustn't touch that.' Wasn't it a grand thing to see a live
232 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Boojum at last ? I am happy to say I didn't vanish away ; but
then, you see, I'm not a Baker. I dont know what Boojum's
real name is. Bibby's real name is ' Clare ' (isn't that a pretty
name?) — ' Clare Turton.'
" It's the middle of the night, so good-night. I must go to
bed. I send you my best love and fourteeh kisses, which
ought to last you a week.
" Ever your affectionate cousin,
"LEWIS CARROLL.''
"November
" MY DEAR NELLA, — What a darling little bag it is ! And
it will be very useful to me ; it'll hold anything I want to take
with me — buttercups, or live mice, or anything. And I
thank you very much for it. I shall always think of you when
I use it.
" Your loving cousin,
"C. L. DODGSON."
"Mv DEAR NELLA, — If Eastbourne was only a mile off from
Scarborough, I would come and see you to morrow : but it is
such a long way to come ! There was a little girl running up
and down on the parade yesterday, and she always ended her
run exactly where I was sitting ; she just looked up in my
face, and then off she went again. So when she had been
about six times, I smiled at her, and she smiled at me and ran
away again ; and the next time I held out my hand, and she
shook hands directly ; and I said, ' Will you give me that piece
of seaweed ? ' and she said ' No ! ' and ran away again. And
the next time I said, ' Will you cut off a little bit of the sea-
weed for me ? ' And she said, ' But I haven't got a pair of
scissors ! ' So I lent her that folding pair of scissors, and she
cut off a little bit very carefully, and gave it to me and ran
away again. But in a moment she came back and said, * I'm
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 233
frightened that my Mother won't like you to keep it ! ' so I
gave it back again, and I told her to ask her Mother to get a
needle and thread, and sew the two bits of seaweed together
again ; and she laughed, and said she would keep the two
bits in her pocket. Wasn't she a queer little vegetable?
I'm glad you don't keep running away all the time while we
are talking. Is Matilda Jane quite well ? And has she been
running out in the rain again without her shoes on !
" (}ive my love to your Mamma, and to your Aunt Lucy ;
not my Aunt Lucy, because she is at Guildford.
"CHARLES L. DODGSON."
"July 14, 1877,
"GROSVENOR HOUSE, 44, GRAND PARADE, EASTBOURNE."
" THE CHESTNUTS,
" 5 min. to spare.
" MY DEAR LUCY, — I want to explain our ungrateful
behaviour in going off just as the banquet appeared. I knew
my cousin had a letter to write, and, when I had given her
her choice whether we should call on you at tea-time, or go
earlier and come back for tea, she chose the latter. So I had
to play the part of the old lady's confidential maid (I daresay
you know the story ?) whose duty it was, when there was any
friend present, to Urge the lady to drink brandy and water, the
lady showing an aristocratic reluctance to taking so vulgar a
fluid.
" Please don't think we were unfriendly, or anxious to get
away ! "
" CH. CH., OXFORD,
"March 17, 1888.
" MY DEAR LUCY, — When I ask myself, ' What can have
caused this sudden revulsion of feeling ? How can I have given
234 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
such deep offence as to produce the sudden drop, from the
letter dated February 8th, signed " Ever yours affectionately,"
to the one dated March i5th, and signed "Yours very sin-
THE FIREPLACE IX LEWIS CARROLL'S STUDY AT CHRIST CHURCH.1
cerely"?' The subject seems at first buried in mystery. Still,
it is of vital importance to find it out, and, if possible, to make
amends for my misdeeds, for it needs a very slight acquaintance
with Rule of Three to see how such a correspondence will go on
1 See page 369.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 235
through ' Yours truly,' and ' Yours faithfully,' till you write in the
third person (' Miss Lucy Walters presents her compliments,
&c.').
" Ten hours of anxious meditation have opened my eyes —
I now see that my (almost) irremediable error was that, after
getting a very nice letter from you, inviting me to the Bushey
Theatricals, I was ill-advised enough to answer it to my cousin
Annie.
" Well, it was very wicked and heartless, I must admit.
And the only way I can see, which will really remedy it, is
to choose a number of letters, received from other people,
and answer them all to you.
" Do not then be surprised, my dear Lucy, if you hear
from me to this effect : —
" ' MY DEAR LUCY, — So the poor wax doll has had a fall
and broken its nose? Well, I'm very sorry to hear it, &c.,
&c.'
"or
" ' MY DEAR Lucy, — Sample of wine to hand, and approved
of. Please forward six dozen, and advise despatch of goods,
&c., &c.'
"or
" * MY DEAR LUCY, — Unless the clock, entrusted to you for
repair, is delivered before the end of this month I shall
instruct my solicitor to &c., &c.'
" But understand that I have received letters — from a little
girl, from my wine-merchant, and from my watchmaker, and
am answering them all to you.
" May I hope that, when you have received a dozen or so
of these letters, you will regard them as sufficient atonement
for my crime, and will gradually return to the friendly rela-
tions which have so long existed between us ?
" Yours always affectionately,
"C. L. DODGSON."
236 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
"CH. Cn.,fune 21, 1889.
" So you don't consider * I can easily get the name for you '
as at all implying ' and will ' ? Then I greatly fear, Lucy, that,
next time I have the pleasure of sharing some meal with you,
and venture to say, " Can you give me a potato ? ' you will
reply, ' Yes, I can, easily 1 ' and will then fold your hands in
your lap, and gaze abstractedly at the ceiling. Such results
are strictly logical, and within the limits of the British Con-
stitution ; but they do not tend to the progress of a banquet.
" And now you fear that I shall * cut ' you ! I can do so,
my dear Lucy, easily !
" Yours affectionately,
"C. L. D.,
" With many thanks. '
"CH. CH., May 13, 1895.
" DEAR Miss DORA ABDY, — May I have the pleasure of
fetching you, for a tete-a-tete dinner, some day soon ? And, if
so, will you name the day ?
" Yours respectfully,
" (That's a good safe beginning, isn't it?)
"C. L. DODGSON."
" P.S. — Now please don't go and tell all your friends, in
the strictest confidence, 'I've just had a letter from a gentle-
man, and he asks me to name the day / ' '
11 CH. CH., OXFORD,
" May 25, 1895.
" DEAR Miss ABDY, — My suggestion was that you should
name a day after the Eights were over (the last night of them
is the 29th), as you might wish to go to them any one of the
six nights.
" If you dine with me on Tuesday, it will have to be at our
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 237
High Table in Hall, along with another friend, who comes
into Oxford that day for the purpose. You would not find
him at all formidable or disagreeable to meet : he is quite
worthy of your regard, if not esteem. Nor need the mere
novelty of the situation deter you. Novelty, by it self , is no
drawback to a scheme ; in some cases (as with milk, eggs, and
jokes) it is a positive advantage. Also, if accepted as an
obstacle, it would have the same effect on the scheme of your
dining in my rooms, which also is a thing outside your experience.
" If, however, you still feel some unaccountable reluctance
to this arrangement, it would be well to propose some other
day. Whatever the day, you will be welcome.
"Yours very sincerely,
"C. L. DODGSON."
CH. CH., OXFORD,
"June 1 6, 1895.
" MY DEAR DORA, — Among the host of virtues which, as
you are no doubt aware, form the background of my character
(a few trifling faults being thrown in as foreground ornaments,
merely by way of contrast), a readiness to adopt suggestions
(when they happen to coincide with my own inclinations) is
one of the most marked — so prominent, in fact, that my
biographer will fail to do justice to it unless he devotes a
whole chapter to the subject.
" Please let me know whether, if I were going up from here,
or from Eastbourne, to town for the day, you would have the
physical courage and the metaphysical audacity to travel alone
between Guildford and Waterloo, where I would meet you
and whence I would see you off. Without affirming that there
is any high degree of probability of my going to see * Much
Ado ' on the 6th, I will go so far as to admit that more
wonderful things have happened !
" Yours affectionately,
"C. L. DODGSON."
238 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
"July 3, 1880.
" So E. D. is de rigeur ? Very good. It is not the only
E. D. I have met with possessing this character. But why 'of
course ' ? Are there no exceptions ? Surely, if you go to
morning parties in evening dress (which you do, you know),
why not to evening parties in morning dress ?
" Anyhow, I have been invited to three evening parties in
London this year, in each of which * Morning Dress ' was
specified.
" Again, doctors (not that / am a real one — only an amateur)
must always be in trim for an instant summons to a patient.
And when you invite a doctor to dinner (say), do you not
always add ' Morning Dress ' ? (I grant you it is done by
initials in this case. And perhaps you will say you don't
understand M.D. to stand for 'Morning Dress'? Then take
a few lessons in elementary spelling.)
" Aye, and many and many a time have I received invita-
tions to evening parties wherein the actual colours of the
Morning Dress expected were stated !
"For instance, 'Red Scarf: Vest, Pink.' That is a very
common form, though it is usually (I grant you) expressed by
initials.
" But I spare you. No doubt you are by this time duly
ashamed of your too-sweeping assertion, and anxious to apolo-
gise. Will you plead that you know not how to apologise,
and that ladies never do apologise to gentlemen ? Then take
a few lessons in elementary manners.
" Yours affect.,
"LEWIS CARROLL.
" P.S. — You will say ' What morning parties do I go to in
evening dress ? ' I reply ' Balls.' You will say again, ' What
balls ever go on in the morning ? ' I reply ' Most balls.' "
CHAPTER V
CURIOSA MATHEMATICA
IN 1888 appeared " Curiosa Mathematica.
Part I. A New Theory of Parallels," by
C. L. Dodgson ; the second Part, entitled
" Pillow Problems, thought out during wakeful
hours," was published in 1893. Lewis Carroll
had intended to complete the series with a third
Part, which was to be of a more miscellaneous
character, but he wras never able to carry this
out. A small portion of it is in proof, and this
is reproduced here, together with a few other
mathematical problems, &c., which would prob-
ably have found their way into the projected
volume if Mr. Dodgson had lived long enough
to finish his task.
239
240 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE ROOK
FRAGMENT OF "CURIOSA MATHEMATICA
PART III."
BOOK II.
BRIEF METHODS OF PERFORMING SOME PROCESSES
IN ARITHMETIC.
CHAPTER I.
LONG MULTIPLICATION.
THE principle of this Method occurred to me on the iQth of
September, 1879. I had been thinking of the great incon-
venience arising, in the ordinary process of Long Multiplica-
tion, from the distance which often separates the two digits
that are to be multiplied together, and what an advantage it
would be if the sum could be so arranged that they should be
close together. Then came the lucky thought that, by writing
the lesser Number backwards, and moving it along above the
other Number, we should have, at each stage of its progress,
visible all at once, the set of pairs of digits, whose products
have to be added together to make one column of working in
the ordinary way.
The Method, which I evolved from this idea, may be enun-
ciated as follows :—
Write down the 2 given Numbers, placing the lesser, if
they are of unequal lengths, above the other, and bringing
their units-digits into a vertical line. Draw a line below. On
a separate slip of paper write the upper Number backwards ;
putting a mark over the units-digit. With this slip cover up
the upper given Number, bringing the two units-digits into a
vertical line. Looking at this pair of digits, write the units-
digit of their product just below the line and vertically below
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 241
the mark, and its tens-digit further down and one place to the
left. Shift the slips one place to the left. Looking at the
2 pairs of digits, which now stand in vertical lines, sum their
products, beginning with the right-hand pair, and write the
units-digit of the result just below the line and vertically below
the mark, and its tens-digit further down and one place to the
left. Shift the slip again, and proceed as before.
An example will make this clear. Let the given Numbers
be 574, 3819. Write them as here shown, drawing a line
below, and write the 574, backwards, on a separate slip, with
a mark above the 4.
475
574
3819
With this slip cover the upper Number, so that the mark
stands vertically above the units-digit of the lower Number.
475
3819
Looking at the pair of digits, which stand in a vertical line,
say " 36," and write the 6 just below the line and vertically
below the mark, and the 3 further down and one place to the
left.
475
3819
22 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Shift the slip one place to the left.
475
Looking at the 2 vertical pairs of digits, say "63 and 4,
67." Enter it.
475
3819
76
Shift the slip one place to the left.
475
3819
76
63
Looking at the 3 vertical pairs of digits, say "45 and 7,
52 ; and 32, 84." Enter it.
475
3819
476
863
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 243
Shift the slip as before.
475
3^9
476
863
Looking at the 3 vertical pairs of digits, say " 5 and 56,
6 1 ; and 12, 73." Enter it.
475
3819
3476
7863
Shift the slip as before.
475
3819
3476
7863
Looking at the 2 vertical pairs of digits, say "40 and 21,
6 1." Enter it.
475
3819
13476
67863
244 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Shift the slip as before.
475
3819
13476
67863
Looking at the vertical pair of digits, say " 15." Enter it.
475
3819
167863
Now remove the slip, draw a line below, and add together
the 2 lines of working.
574
513476
167863
2192106
The Reader will notice that the working, for each position of
the slip, is a distinct thing, and can be done by itself, without
reference to the rest of the work. Hence, if there is a doubt as
to any particular digit in the answer, the digits, whose sum it is,
can be tested by themselves, e.g., if it were suspected that the
9 was wrong, we might test the 7, which stands vertically above
it, by placing the slip in the position of the 8th diagram ;
and then the i, which stands above the 7, by placing it in the
position of the loth diagram.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 245
When the upper given Number does not contain more than
4 or 5 digits, the above Rule can be easily worked ; but, with a
really large upper given Number, it will be found convenient to
go along each series of products twice— first summing their
tfrt/'/j-digits, and entering the units-digit of the result in the
upper line of the working, and then summing their te;w-digits.
Thus, the Mental Process for the 6th diagram might be as
follows : "5 and 7, 12; and 2, 14." Enter the 4, and carry
the i. " 5 and 3, 8." Enter it.
In working this form of the Method, the following Rules
should be borne in mind : —
In collecting the w;?//^-digits of a set of products of pairs of
digits, remember that, if one member of a pair is i, the units-
digit is the other : if one is 5, the units-digit is 5 or o, according
as the other is odd or even : if one is 9, the units-digit is 10
minus the other.
In collecting the fens-digits, remember that, if one member
of a pair is i, or if the sum of the two members is less than 7,
there is no tens-digit ; if one is 5, the tens-digit is the number
of 25s contained in the other : if one is 9, the tens-digit is the
other minus i .
Many of these Long Multiplication sums will need only two
lines of working : when a set of products occurs, whose sum
contains 3 digits, a third line will be needed : when it contains
4, a fourth — but this can only happen when the lesser Number
contains at least 13 digits : and, when it contains 5, a fifth will
be needed — but this can only happen when the lesser Number
contains at least 124 digits, and therefore exceeds a trillion of
sextillions !
This Method can easily be applied to the Multiplication of
Decimals : all that is needed is to place the slip, to begin with,
so that the mark comes vertically above that decimal place to
which we wish to carry the working. I will give two examples,
exhibiting, in each, first, the sum as set, ready for working;
246 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
secondly, the state of things just before the slip is shifted for
the first time ; thirdly, the final state, just before the slip is
removed ; fourthly, the sum added up.
730-0
•037
•2156
730-0
•2156
730-0
•2156
'006723
I25
•037
•2156
•006723
I25
•007976
341-86
68-143
2379'5
341-86
2379*5
341-86
2379^
24817-6275
136228-641
i i
63^43
2379'5
24817-6275
136228*641
ii
162146*2685
Hence the Answer to the first sum, correct to 4 places, is
'0080 ; and the Answer to the second, correct to 2 places,
is 162146*27.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 247
CHAPTER II.
LONG DIVISION, WHERE BOTH QUOTIENT AND REMAINDER
ARE REQUIRED.
§ I-
Divisors of the form (io"+i).
YEARS ago I had discovered the curious fact that, if you put
a " o " over the unit-digit of a given Number, which happens
to be a multiple of 9, and subtract all along, always putting
the remainder over the next digit, the final subtraction gives
remainder " o," and the upper line, omitting its final u o," is
the " 9-Quotient " of the given Number (i.e., the Quotient pro
duced by dividing it by 9).
Having discovered this, I was at once led, by analogy, to
the discovery that, if you put a " o " under the unit-digit of a
given Number, which happens to be a multiple of IT, and
proceed in the same way, you get an analogous result.
In each case I obtained the Quotient of a Division-sum by
the shorter and simpler process of subtraction: but, as this
result was only obtainable in the (comparatively rare) case of
the given Number being an exact multiple of 9, or of n,
the discovery seemed to be more curious than useful.
Lately, it occurred to me to examine cases where the
given Number was not an exact multiple. I found that, in
these cases, the final subtraction yielded a Number which was
sometimes the actual Remainder produced by Division, and
which always gave materials from which that Remainder
could be found. But, as it did not yield the Quotient (or
only by a very " bizarre " process, which was decidedly longer
and harder than actual Division), the discovery still seemed to
be of no practical use.
248 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
But, quite lately, it occurred to me to try what would happen
if, after discovering the Remainder, I were to put it, instead
of a " o," over or under the unit-digit, and then subtract as
before. And I was charmed to find that the old result
followed : the final subtraction yielded remainder " o," and
the new line, omitting its units-digit, was the required Quotient.
Now, there are shorter processes for obtaining the 9-
Remainder or the n-Remainder of a given Number, than my
subtraction-rule (the process for finding the n -Remainder is
another discovery of mine). Adopting these, I brought my
rule to completion on September 28, 1897.
(i) Rule for finding the Quotient and Remainder produced
by dividing a given Number by 9.
To find the 9-Remainder, sum the digits ; then sum the digits
of the result : and so on till you get a single digit. If this be
less than 9, it is the required Remainder : if it be 9, the re-
quired Remainder is o. Throughout this process, 9's may be
" cast out " ad libitum.
To find the 9-Quotient, draw a line below the given Number
and put its 9-Remainder under its unit-digit ; then subtract
downwards, putting the remainder under the next digit, and so
on. If the left-hand end-digit of the given Number be less
than 9, its subtraction ought to give remainder " o " : if it be
9, it ought to give remainder " i," to be put in the lower line,
and " i " to be carried, whose subtraction will give remainder
" o." Now mark off the 9-Remainder at the right-hand end of
the lower line, and the rest of it will be the 9-Quotient.
Examples :—
9//753°96 9//946i38 9//583i?3
8367 7//3 I05I26//4
(2) Rule for finding the Quotient and Remainder produced
by dividing a given Number by 1 1 .
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 249
To find the n -Remainder, begin at the units-end, and sum
the ist, 3rd, tS:c., digits, and also the 2nd, 4th, &c , digits; and
find the n-Remainder of the difference of these sums. If the
former sum be the greater, the required Remainder is the
number so found : if the former sum be the lesser, it is the
difference between this number and 1 1 : if the sums be equal,
it is " o."
To find the i i-Quotient, draw a line below the given Number
and put its n -Remainder under its units-digit : then subtract,
putting the remainder under the next digit, and so on. The
final subtraction ought to give remainder uo." Now mark off
the n-Remainder at the right-hand end of the lower line, and
the rest of it will be the u -Quotient.
Examples :--
n//732io8 H//85347I
665S5//3 7758S//3
U//594263 H//475684
54023//IO 43244//o
These new Rules have yet another advantage over the Rule
of actual Division, viz., that the final subtraction supplies a test
of the correctness of the result : if it does not give remainder
" o," the sum has been done wrong : if it does, then either it
has been done right, or there have been two mistakes — a rare
event.
Mathematicians will not need to be told that rules,
analogous to the above, will necessarily hold good for the
divisors 99, 101, 999, 1001, &c. The only modification
needed would be to mark off the given Number in periods of
2 or more digits, and to treat each period in the same way
as the above rules have treated single digits. Here, for
250 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
example, is the whole of the working needed for dividing 2
given Numbers by 999 and by 10001 : —
2
999//73 I 210 584 | 668
437
902
73 | 283 | 868 | 537 // 439
1383
i 2269
IOQQI//547 | 2915 | 0836 9354
547 I 2367 | 8469 // 885
In the first of these examples, the 2 | 437, written above, is
the sum of the periods. As this contains 2 periods, it is
treated in the same way; and the final result, 439, is the
999-Remainder.
In the second, the i | 2269, written above, is the sum of
the ist and 3rd periods: the 1383 is the sum of the 2nd
and 4th. The difference of these sums is 10886, whose
i ooo i -Remainder is 885.
§ 2.
Divisors of the form (h i o" + k), where at least one of the
two numbers, h and k, is greater than i .
The Method, now to be described, is applicable to three
distinct cases : —
(1) Where h > i, k = i ;
(2) Where h = i, k > i ;
(3) Where h> i, k > i.
With certain limitations of the values of h, k, and «, this
Method will be found to be a shorter and safer process than
that of ordinary Long Division. These limitations are that
neither h nor k should exceed 12, and that, when k > i, n
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 251
should not be less than 3 ; outside these limits, it involves
difficulties which make the ordinary process preferable.
In this Method, two distinct processes are required — one,
for dealing with cases where h > i, the other, for cases
where k > i. The former of these processes was, I believe,
first discovered by myself, the latter by my nephew, Mr.
Bertram J. Collingwood, who communicated to me his Method
of dealing with Divisors of the form (10" - k).
In what follows, I shall represent 10 by /.
Mr. Collingwood's Method, for Divisors of the form (t" - /£),
may be enunciated as follows : —
" To divide a given Number by (/" - /£), mark off from it a
period of n digits, at the units-end, and under it write ^-times
what would be left of it if its last period were erased. If this
number contains more than n digits, treat it in the same way ;
and so on, till a number is reached which does not contain
more than ;/ digits. Then add up. If the last period of the
result, plus ^-times whatever was carried out of it, in the
adding up, be less than the Divisor, it is the required
Remainder ; and the rest of the result is the required Quotient.
If it be not less, find what number of times it contains the
Divisor, and add that number to the Quotient, and subtract
that multiple of the Divisor from the Remainder."
For example, to divide 86781592485703152764092 by 9993
(i.e., by /* - 7), he would proceed thus :—
9993//S67 8159 2485 7031 5276 4092
6074 7114 7399 9220 6932
4 2522 9803 1799 4540
29 7660 8622 2593
208 3626 0354
i458 S382
i 0206
; 7
Quot. 868 4238 2153 2104 ooo4//4io6 + 14 = 4120 Rem.
252 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
This new Method will be best explained by beginning with
case (3) : it will be easily seen what changes have to be made
in it when dealing with cases (i) and (2).
The Rule for case (3), when the sign is " - ," may be enun-
ciated thus : —
Mark off the Dividend, beginning at its units-end, in periods
of n digits. If there be an overplus, at the left-hand end, less
than h, do not mark it off, but reckon it and the next n digits
as one period.
To set the sum, write the Divisor, followed by a double
vertical; then the Dividend, divided into its periods by single
verticals, with width allowed in each space for (11 + 2) digits.
Below the Dividend draw a single line, and, further down, a
double one, leaving a space between, in which to enter the
Quotient, having its units-digit below that of the last period
but one of the Dividend, and also the Remainder, having its
units-digit below that of the last period of the Dividend. In
this space, and in the space below the double line, draw
verticals, corresponding to those in the Dividend ; and make
the last in the upper space double, to separate the Quotient
from the Remainder.
For example, if we had to divide 5984407103826 by 6997
(i.e., 7. /3 - 3), the sum, as set for working, would stand
thus :—
6997//59S4 I 4P7 I i<>3 I 826
Quot. | Rem.
To work the sum, divide the ist period by h; enter its
quotient in the ist Column below the double line, and place
its remainder above the 2nd period, where it is to be
regarded as prefixed to that period. To the 2nd period, with
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 253
its prefix, add /£-times the number in the ist Column, and
enter the result at the top of the 2nd Column. If this
number is not less than the Divisor, find what number of
times it contains the Divisor, and enter that number in the
ist Column, and >£-times it in the 2nd, and then draw a line
below the 2nd Column, and add in this new item, deducting
from the result /"-times the number just entered in the ist
Column ; and then add up the ist Column, entering the
result in the Quotient. If the number at the top of the 2nd
Column is less than the Divisor, the number in the ist Column
may be at once entered in the Quotient. The number entered
in the Quotient, and the number at the foot of the 2nd
Column, are the Quotient and Remainder that would result
if the Dividend ended with its 2nd period. Now take the
number at the foot of the 2nd Column as a new ist period,
and the 3rd period as a new 2nd period, and proceed as
before.
The above example, worked according to this Rule, would
stand thus : —
6997 il 5984
6
407
5
103
3
826
Quot. 855 | 281 | 849 || 6373 Rem.
854 | 8969 | 5946 |
3
1972
281
849
The Mental Process being as follows : —
Divide the 5984 by 7, entering its Quotient, 854, in the ist
254 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Column, and placing its Remainder, 6, above the 2nd period.
Then add, to the 6407, 3-times the 854, entering the result in
the 2nd Column, thus: "7 and 12, 19." Enter the 9, and
carry the i. " i and 15, 16." Enter the 6, and carry
the i. "5 and 24, 29." Enter the 9, and carry the 2,
which, added to the prefix 6, makes 8, which also you enter.
Observing that this 8969 is not less than the Divisor, and that
it contains the Divisor once, enter i in the ist Column, and
3-times i in the 2nd, and then draw a line below, and add in
this new item, remembering to deduct from the result 7-times
/3, i.e., 7000: the result is 1972. Then add up the ist
Column, as far as the double line, and enter the result, 855,
in the Quotient. Now take the 1972 as a new ist period, and
the 3rd period, 103, as a new 2nd period, and proceed as
before, thus : Draw a double line below the 1972, and divide
it by 7, entering its Quotient, 281, below it, and its Remainder,
5, above the 3rd period. Then add, to the 5103, 3-times the
281, entering the result, 5946, in the 3rd column; and
observe that this is less than the Divisor. Then add up the
2nd Column, as far as its lowest double line, and enter the
result, 281, in the Quotient. Now take the 5946 as a new
ist period, and the final period, 826, as a new 2nd period,
and proceed as before, thus : Draw a double line below the
5946, and divide it by 7, entering the Quotient, 849, below
it, and the Remainder, 3, above the final period. Now add, to
the 3826, 3-times the 849, entering the result, 6373, which you
can foresee will be less than the Divisor, as the Remainder.
Then add up the 3rd Column, as far as its lowest double
line, and enter the result, 849, as the final period of the
Quotient.
It may be well to explain the real effect of the three
processes described in the 5th sentence of the preceding
paragraph, viz., (i)." enter i in the ist Column"; (2) "enter
3 times i in the 2nd Column"; (3) "add in this new item,
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 255
remembering to deduct from the result 7000." The effect of
(2) and (3), combined, is to increase the 2nd Column by 3
and to diminish it by 7000 ; i.e., to diminish it by (7000-3),
which is 6997. And the effect of (i) is to account for this
6997, which has been thus deducted from the Remainder
(thus reducing it to the true Remainder), by adding i to the
Quotient (thus raising it to the true Quotient).
The Rule for case (3), when the sign is " + ," may be
deduced from the above Rule by simply changing the sign
of k. This will, however, introduce a new phenomenon,
which must be provided for by the following additional
clause : —
When you add to the 2nd period with its prefix (-^)-times
the number in the ist Column, i.e., when you subtract ^-times
this number from the 2nd period with its prefix, it will some-
times happen that the subtrahend exceeds the minuend. In
this case the subtraction will end with a minus digit, which
may be indicated by an asterisk. Now find what number of
Divisors must be added to the 2nd Column to cancel this
minus digit, and enter that number, marked with an asterisk,
in the ist Column, and that multiple of the Divisor in the 2nd;
and then draw a line below the 2nd Column, and add in this
new item.
As an example, let us take a new Dividend, but retain the
previous Divisor, changing the sign of >£, so that it will become
7003 (i.e., 7. /3 -|- 3). The sum, as set for working, would
stand thus :—
7003 || 6504 | 318 | 972 | 526
Quot. Rem.
256 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
After working, it would stand thus :—
7003 i| 6504
i 4 5
318 | 972 | 526
Quot. 928
79°
371 4413
929
I*
2*531
7 003
5 534
2602
»•
790
the Mental Process being as follows : —
Divide the 6504 by 7, and enter the Quotient, 929, in the
ist Column, and the Remainder, i, above the 2nd period.
Then subtract, from the 1318, 3-times the 929, entering the
result in the 2nd Column, thus : u 27 from 8 I can't, but 27
from 28, i." Enter the i, and carry the borrowed 2. "8
from i I can't, but 8 from n, 3." Enter the 3, and carry the
borrowed i. "28 from 3 I can't, but 28 from 33, 5." Enter
the 5, and carry the borrowed 3. "3 from i, minus 2." Enter
it, with an asterisk. Observing that, to cancel this minus 2, it
will suffice to add owe the Divisor, enter a (— i) in the ist
Column, and 7003 in the 2nd ; and then draw a line below
the 2nd Column, and add in this new item : the result is
5534. Then add up the ist Column, and enter the result,
928, in the Quotient. Now take the 5534 as a new ist period,
and the third period, 972, as a new 2nd period, and proceed
as before, thus : Draw a double line below the 5534, and
divide it by 7, entering the Quotient, 790, below it, and the
Remainder, 4, above the 3rd period. Then subtract, from the
4972, 3-times the 790, entering the result, 2602, in the 3rd
Column ; and observe that this does not contain a minus digit.
Then add up the 2nd Column, as far as its lowest double line,
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 257
and enter the result, 790, in the Quotient. Now take the
2602 as a new ist period, and the final period, 526, as a new
2nd period, and proceed as before, thus. Draw a double line
below the 2602, and divide it by 7, entering the Quotient, 371,
below it, and the Remainder, 5, above the final period. Then
subtract, from the 5526, 3-times the 371, entering the result,
4413, which you can foresee will be less than the Divisor, as
the Remainder. Then add up the 3rd Column, as far as its
lowest double line, and enter the result, 371, as the final period
of the Quotient.
The Rules for case (2) may be derived, from the above, by
making k= i ; and those for case (3) by making h—\. I will
give worked examples of these ; but it will not be necessary to
give the Mental Processes.
By making k= i, we get Divisors of the form (h. tn+ i) : let
us take (i it* - i) and (6/s+ 1)
9 10 4
109999
Quot.
1 io7523
| 8168
9662 | 0985
9774
| 9813 | 0861 || 41846 Rem.
9774
I 107942
II9474
I
9475
9812
T
861
600001 I
Quot.
3 3
7239 1 5X798 1 2 6004. | 13825
1206 | 58431 | 9 4595 II 219230 Rem.
1 350592
47572
60 oooi
58432
I*
56 7573
9 4595
18
258 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
In this last example there is no need to enter the Quotient,
produced by dividing the 7239 by 7, in the ist Column; we
easily foresee that the number at the top of the 2nd Column
will be less than the Divisor, so that there will be no new item
in the ist: hence we at once enter the 1206 in the Quotient.
By making h= i, we get Divisors of the form (tH±k) : let us
take (/4-7) and (/s+i2).
9993 II 867 | 8159 ! 2485 7031 | 5276 | 4092
Quot. 867 4238
2153
2104
0004 4120 Rem.
867 14228
i 7
4235
3
IOOOI2 j| 7185
32-130
21
2I5I
2
6 2C
22088
14
2IO2
2
>39
19990
14
4
10327
7184 7 5822
00463 | 47562
7185
I'
3*5819
IO OOI2
9*00355
99OOIO8
7 5831
463
The first of these two sums is the one I gave to illustrate
Mr. Collingwood's Method of working with Divisors of the
the form (/" - k).
It may interest the reader to see the three methods of
working the above example — ordinary Division, Mr. Colling-
wood's Method, and my version of it — compared as to the
amount of labour which each entails in the working : —
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 259
Ordinary Mr. C.'s My version
Division. Method. of it.
Digits written 202 82 44
Additions, or Subtractions 204 97 25
Multiplications o 70 22
I am assuming that any one, working this example by
ordinary Division, would begin by making a table of Multiples
of 9993 for reference : so that he would have no Multipli-
cations to do. Still, the great number of digits he would have
to write, and of Additions and Subtractions he would have to
do, involving a far greater risk of error than either of the other
Methods, would quite outweigh this advantage.
By whatever process a Question in Long Division has been
worked, it is very desirable to be able to test, easily and
quickly, the correctness of the Answer. The ordinary test is
to multiply together the Divisor and Quotient, add the
Remainder, and observe whether these together make up the
given Number, as they ought to do.
Thus, if JV be the given Number, £) the given Divisor, Q
the Quotient, and R the Remainder, we ought to have
N=D. Q + R.
This test is specially easy to apply, when D=(h. /" + /£),
for then we ought to have
N=(h.t»±k). Q + R;
= (h.Q.t" + R) ±kQ.
Now hQ. tn may be found by multiplying Q by /&, and
tacking on n ciphers. Hence (h Q. tn + R) may be found by
making R occupy the place of the n ciphers. If R contains
less than n digits it must have ciphers prefixed ; if more, the
overplus must be carried on into the next period, and added
to h Q.
260 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Having found our "Test," viz. (hQ. t" + R\ we can write it
on a separate slip of paper, and place it below the working of
the example, so as to come vertically below TV, which is at the
top. When the sign in D is " - ", we must add k Q to N, and
see if the result = T; when it is " + " we must add k Q to T,
and see if the result =N.
Now it has been already pointed out that when, in the new
Method, the ist and 2nd Columns have been worked, the ist
period of the Quotient and the number at the foot of the 2nd
Column are the Quotient and Remainder that would result if
the Dividend ended with its 2nd period. Hence the Test
can be at once applied, before dealing with the 3rd Column.
This constitutes a very important new feature in my version
of Mr. Collingwood's Method. Every two adjacent Columns
contain a separate Division-sum, which can be tested by itself.
Hence, in working my Method, as soon as I have entered the
ist period of the Quotient, I can test it, and, if I have made
any mistake, I can correct it. But the hapless computator,
who has spent, say, an hour in working out some gigantic sum
in Long Division — whether by the ordinary process or by Mr.
Collingwood's Method — and who has chanced to get a figure
wrong at the very outset, which makes every subsequent figure
wrong, has no warning of the fatal error till he has worked out
the whole thing " to the bitter end," and has begun to test his
Answer. Whereas, if working by my Method, he would have
been warned of his mistake almost as soon as he made it,
and would have been able to set it right before going any
further.
As an aid to the reader, I will give the Mental Process in
full, for the 2nd and 3rd Columns of the first of the examples
worked above.
The Divisor is 6997 (where h=^ /£ = 3). Here you are
supposed to have just entered the 281 in the Quotient. The
Dividend, for these two columns, is 1972 | 103 ; the Quotient is
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 261
281, and the Remainder 5946. The Test is hQ. t" + R
(i.e., 7 x 281000 + 5946), the
Mental Process being as follows :
Write down, on a separate slip of
paper, the last three digits of ^,
viz., 946, and carry the 5 into the
next period, adding it to the 7 x
281, thus, "5 and 7, 12." Enter
the 2, and carry the i. " i and
56, 57." Enter the 7, and carry the
5. "5 and 14, 19." Enter it.
Having got your Test, try whether
(TV -+- kQ) is equal to it. This you
compute, comparing it with your
Test, digit by digit, as you go on, thus, " 3 and 3, 6." Observe
it in the Test. " o and 24, 24." Observe the 4, and carry the
2. "3 and 6, 9." Observe it. "-1972 and o, 1972." Observe
it. The Test is satisfied.
For Divisors of the form (/" ± K] there is no need to write
out the Test : the numbers, which compose it, already occur
in the working, and may be used as they stand.
6 5
407 | 103
t 281 |
8968
3
5946 |
1972
281
Test 1972 | 946
CHAPTER III.
LONG DIVISION, WHERE REMAINDER IS REQUIRED,
BUT NOT QUOTIENT.
Divisors of the form (t"+ i).
THE Methods here required were described in the last
Chapter, § i, as processes preliminary to that of finding the
Quotient.
262 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
For Divisors of the other forms there discussed, the
methods, for finding Quotient and Remainder, can of course
be used for finding Remainder only : the only cases which we
need consider here are those in which, owing to the Quotient
not being required, these Methods are capable of abridgment.
§ 2.
Divisors of the form (ht+ i).
Here the Methods, described in the last Chapter, § 2, may
be abridged by leaving out all the written work below the
double line.
As examples of this abridged Method, % let us take
27910385642558361 as our Dividend, and find its 29-
Remainder, and its yi-Remainder.
The first, when worked, stands thus : —
2911279103856425583611 Rem. 2,
the Mental Process being as follows : Begin by dividing 27 by
3, and adding its quotient, 9, to the number made up by
prefixing its remainder, o, to the next digit, 9 : i.e^ you say
"9 and 9, 18." Then divide this 18 by 3, and add its
quotient, 6, to the number made up by prefixing its remainder,
o, to the next digit, i : />., say, " 6 and i, 7." Then say, " 2
and 10, 12 ; 4 and 3, 7 ; 2 and 18, 20 ; 6 and 25, 31." Here
you " cast out" a 29, and say " which gives 2." To this you
tack on the next digit, 6, and proceed thus : "8 and 24, 32 ;
which gives 3 ; i and 2, 3 ; i and 5, 6 ; 2 and 5, 7 ; 2 and 18,
20 ; 6 and 23, 29 : which gives o ; 2 and i, 3 ; i and i, 2."
The second, when worked, stands thus :—
711)279103856425583611 Rem. 68,
the Mental Process being as follows : Begin by dividing 2 7 by
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 263
7, and subtracting its quotient, 3, from the number made up
by prefixing its remainder, 6, to the next digit, 9 : i.e., you say
" 3 from 69, 66." Then divide this 66 by 7, and subtract its
quotient, 9, from the number made up by prefixing its
remainder, 3, to the next digit, i ; i.e., say "9 from 31, 22."
Then say " 3 from 10, 7 ; i from 3, 2 ; o from 28, 28 ; 4 from
5, i ; o from 16, 16 ; 2 from 24, 22 ; 3 from 15, 12 ; i from
55, 54; 7 from 58, 51 ; 7 from 23, 16 ; 2 from 26, 24; 3 from
31, 28; 4 from i, I can't, but" (here you throw in an extra
Divisor) "4 from 72, 68:"
Powers of 10.
The lo-Remainder is the last digit : the io2-Remainder is
the number composed of the last 2 digits ; and so on.
These Remainders will serve as trial-dividends for all
numbers whose factors are powers of the factors of 10, viz., 2
and 5. Thus the 32-Remainder may be found by taking the
number composed of the last 5 digits, and dividing by 32.
Similarly, 80 is 2* x 5 : hence the lo^-Remainder will serve
for it.
§ 4-
Factors of Divisors of the form (ht + i).
The 2i-Remainder will serve as a trial-dividend for 7 (the
factor, 3, is also a factor of 9). But this Remainder is (owing
to the small value of h, which constantly gives a subtrahend
greater than the minuend) so troublesome to find, that I should
prefer to find the 7-Remainder by ordinary Division.
The 39-Remainder will serve for 13 ; the 51 for 17 ; the 69
for 23.
264 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Of the three propositions which follow, the two
theorems are very curious, and as the elucidation
of them requires only a moderate acquaintance
with geometry, I expect that many of my readers
will be inclined to try their hands at discovering
wherein lie their fallacies.
THEOREM I.
EVERY TRIANGLE IS ISOSCELES.
A
Let A B C be any Triangle. Bisect B C at I), and from D
draw D E at right angles to B C. Bisect the angle BAG.
(1) If the bisector does not meet D E, they are parallel.
Therefore the bisector is at right angles to B C. Therefore
A B = A C, i.e., A B C is isosceles.
(2) If the bisector meets D E, let them meet at F. Join
F B, F C, and from F draw F G, F H, at right angles to A C,
AB.
Then the Triangles A F C, A F H are equal, because they
have the side A F common, and the angles F A G, A G F
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 265
equal to the angles F A H, A H F. Therefore A H = A G,
and FH = FG.
Again, the Triangles B D F, CDF are equal, because
B D = D C, D F is common, and the angles at D are equal.
Therefore F B = F C.
Again, the Triangles F H B, F G C are right-angled.
Therefore the square on F B = the squares on F H, H B ; and
the square on F C = the squares on F G, G C. But F B = F C,
and F H = F G Therefore the square on H B = the square
on G C. Therefore H B = G C. Also, A H has been proved
= to A G. Therefore A B — A C ; i.e., A B C is isosceles.
Therefore the Triangle A B C is always isosceles.
Q. E. D.
A B C is a given Triangle, and D and E are given points in
A B and A C.
It is required to describe on the 3 sides, or those sides
produced, 3 semi-circles, facing inwards, and touching each
other ; two of them having their centres at D and E, and the
third having its centre in B C.
266 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
THEOREM II.
AN OBTUSE ANGLE IS SOMETIMES EQUAL TO A RIGHT ANGLE
Let A B C D be a Square. Bisect A B at E, and through
E draw E F at right angles to A B, and cutting D C at F.
Then D F = F C.
From C draw C G = C B. Join A G, and bisect it at H.
and from H draw H K at right angles to A G.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 267
Since A B, A G are not parallel, E F, H K are not parallel.
Therefore they will meet, if produced. Produce E F, and let
them meet at K. Join K D, K A, K G, and K C.
The Triangles K A H, K G H are equal, because A H =
H G, H K is common, and the angles at H are right.
Therefore K A = KG.
The Triangles K D F, K C F are equal, because D F = F C,
F K is common, and the angles at F are right. Therefore
K D = K C, and angle K D C = angle K C D.
Also D A = C B = C G.
Hence the Triangles K D A, K C G have all their sides
equal. Therefore the angles K D A, K C G are equal. From
these equals take the equal angles K D C, K C D. Therefore
the remainders are equal: i.e., the angle G C D = the angle
ADC. But G C D is an obtuse angle, and A D C is a right
angle.
Therefore an obtuse angle is sometimes = a right angle.
Q. E. D.
In the " Life of Lewis Carroll " (pp. 317, 318)
there is an allusion to a problem invented by
him, and called there the " Monkey and Weight
Problem." I have recently received from the
Rev. Arthur Brook, of Chertsey, a solution
which differs entirely from any of those which
Mr. Dodgson received from his friends, and which
seems worth reproducing here. For the benefit
of those of my readers who do not possess a copy
of my earlier volume, I will repeat the statement
of the problem as given in it :—
268 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
A rope is supposed to be hung over a wheel fixed to the
roof of a building ; at one end of the rope a weight is fixed,
which exactly counterbalances a monkey which is hanging on
to the other end. Suppose that the monkey begins to climb
the rope, what will be the result ?
Mr. Brook writes as follows :—
" I see you state that Lewis Carroll's diary illustrates the
several possible answers. I venture to suggest another and (I
believe) the correct answer — namely, that the weight remains
stationary.
" It is clear that the weight can only move up by the pres-
sure on the monkey's side being increased, or down by that
pressure being lessened. Now the monkey by climbing cannot
increase or lessen his own weight nor the weight of the rope on
his side, nor can he alter the line of pressure ; therefore the
pressure on his side will remain unaltered, and the weight will
neither move up nor down.
" The putting of his weight higher up the rope does not
increase the pressure — whatever pressure he puts on the rope
by lifting himself he at the same time takes a like pressure off
the rope."
There seems to me to be one very obvious
criticism on this solution. Mr. Brook says that
" the monkey by climbing cannot increase or lessen
his own weight," but surely as he climbs he in-
creases the distance between him and the centre
of gravity, and thus does lessen his weight. This
would lead one to think that the monkey's end of
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 269
the rope would go up, while the weight at the
other end would descend, a conclusion reached
also by Mr. Sampson, one of the tutors at Christ
Church, who attempted to solve the problem.
In conclusion, I give two numerical curiosities,
which I believe to have been discovered by Mr.
Dodgson.
(0
Put down any number of pounds not more than twelve, any
number of shillings under twenty, and any number of pence
under twelve. Under the pounds put the number of pence,
under the shillings the number of shillings, and under the
pence the number of pounds, thus reversing the line.
Subtract.
Reverse the line again.
Add.
Answer, £12 i8s. rid., whatever numbers may have been
selected.
A MAGIC NUMBER.
142857.
285714 twice that number.
428571 thrice that number.
571428 four times that number.
714285 five times that number.
857142 six times that number.
Begin at the " i " in each line and it will be the same order of
figures as the magic number up to six times that number, while
seven times the magic number results in a row of 9's.
CHAPTER VI
GAMES AND PUZZLES
IN a MS. of Lewis Carroll's entitled " Analysis
of Journals," I came upon an entry under
the head of " Inventions " to the following
effect :-
"8/1/75 idea of 'Alice's Puzzle-Book.' "
This idea of his grew into the conception of
a volume to be called " Original Games and
Puzzles," for which Miss E. Gertrude Thomson,
the artist who illustrated his "Three Sunsets,"
had promised to provide a series of pictures.
Although he left behind him no trace of any
literary preparations for this volume, it has been
an easy task for me to collect the rules of the
games which he invented, for they were few in
number ; as to the puzzles, I fear I have not been
so successful. Many of them, I suspect, were
270
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 271
never committed to writing, but simply stored up
in his memory, to be retailed from time to time
for the benefit of his " child friends."
" Castle Croquet " was invented by Mr.
Dodgson, who elaborated the rules by means
of playing a series of games with the Misses
Liddell, daughters of the late Dean of Christ
Church. These rules were printed in 1863, to-
gether with the diagram here reproduced.
CASTLE CROQUET.
FOR FOUR PLAYERS.
n
2: n i
3
• • gate
* door
O released prisoner
• flag
O prisoner
272 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
I.
This game requires 8 balls, 8 arches, and 4 flags ; 4 of the
balls are called." soldiers," the others " sentinels." The arches
and flags are set up as in the figure, making 4 "castles," and
each player has a castle, a soldier, and a sentinel. To begin
the game, the soldier is placed just within the gate, and the
sentinel half-way between the gate and the door.
(N.B. — The distance from one gate to the next should be 6
or 8 yards, and the distance from the gate to the door, or from
the door to the flag, 2 or 3 yards.)
II.
The soldiers are played first, in the order given in the figure,
then the sentinels in the same order, and so on. Each player
has to bring his soldier out of its castle, and with it " invade "
the other castles in order (e.g., No. 3 has to invade castles 4, i,
2), re-enter his own, and touch the flag, and then to touch it
with his sentinel (which, if out of the castle, must re-enter for
this purpose) ; and whoever does all this first, wins. To " in-
vade " a castle, the soldier must enter at the gate, go through
the door (either way), touch the flag, and come out at the gate
again.
(N.B. — No ball can enter or leave a castle except at the gate.
A sentinel, that has not left his castle, is said to be " on duty,"
wherever he happen to be.)
III.
If a sentinel and soldier touch, while both are within the
sentinel's castle, or if a soldier enter a castle while its sentinel
and his own are both " on duty," the soldier becomes "prisoner"
and is placed behind the flag. He cannot move till released
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 273
which is done either by his own sentinel (on duty) coming and
touching the flag, or by the sentinel leaving the castle. In the
former case, his own sentinel is put back where he was at the
beginning of the game ; and in either case the released soldier
is placed behind the door, and cannot be again taken prisoner
until after his next turn.
IV.
When a soldier goes through an arch, or touches a flag, in
his proper course, or plays after being released, or when a
sentinel enters or leaves his castle, or takes a prisoner, he may
be played again ; but a sentinel may not enter or leave his
castle twice in one turn.
(N.B. — A sentinel can only enter or leave his own castle :
no account is taken of his going through any arch other than
his own gate.)
V.
If a ball touch another (except a sentinel on duty, a prisoner,
or a released prisoner who has not played since his release),
the player may use it to croquet his own with ; but may not
move it in doing so, unless it be his own sentinel (not on duty).
He may not croquet himself twice in one turn with the same
ball, unless he has done one of the things mentioned in Rule
IV. meanwhile. In this game, croqueting does not give (as in
he ordinary game) the right of playing again.
N.B. — The following arrangement of the 8 balls as soldiers
and sentinels will be found convenient :—
Soldiers. Sentinels.
Blue Green
Black Brown
Orange Yellow
Red Pink
19
274 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
The flags should match the soldiers in colour.
This game may be adapted for five players, by the addition
of a light-blue and a light-green ball, and the 10 balls may be
arranged thus : —
Soldiers.
Blue
Black
Orange
Green
Red
Sentinels.
Light Blue
Brown
Yellow
Light Green
Pink
The game of " Word-Links " or "Doublets,"
the most popular of all Lewis Carroll's games,
was invented about the year 1878. Several
editions of the rules have been published ; the
following is a reprint of the 1880 edition, with
the omission of the Glossary which accom-
panied it, and the greater part of the examples.
DOUBLETS
A WORD-PUZZLE
BY
LEWIS CARROLL
Double, double,
Toil and trouble."
SECOND EDITION
LONDON
MACMILLAN AND CO.
1880
INSCRIBED
TO
JULIA AND ETHEL.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 277
PRP;FACE.
On the 2 Qth of March, 1879, tne following article appeared
in Vanity Fair : —
A NEW PUZZLE.
The readers of Vanity Fair have during the last ten years
shown so much interest in the Acrostics and Hard Cases which
were first made the object of sustained competition for prizes
in this journal, that it has been sought to invent for them an
entirely new kind of Puzzle, such as would interest them
equally with those that have already been so successful. The
subjoined letter from Mr. Lewis Carroll will explain itself, and
will introduce a Puzzle so entirely novel and withal so inte-
resting, that the transmutation of the original into the final
word of the Doublets may be expected to become an occupa-
tion to the full as amusing as the guessing of the Double
Acrostics has already proved.
In order to enable readers to become acquainted with the
new Puzzle, preliminary Doublets will be given during the next
three weeks — that is to say, in the present number of Vanity
Fair and in those of the 5th and i2th April. A competition
will then be opened — beginning with the Doublets published
on the i gth April, and including all those published subse-
quently, up to and including the number of the 26th July—
for three prizes, consisting respectively of a Proof Album for
the first and of ordinary Albums for the second and third
prizes.
The rule of scoring will be as follows : —
A number of marks will be apportioned to each Doublet
equal to the number of letters in the two words given. For
278 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
example, in the instance given below of " Head " and " Tail,"
the number of possible marks to be gained would be eight ; and
this maximum will be gained by each one of those who make
the chain with the least possible number of changes. If it be
assumed that in this instance the chain cannot be completed
with less than the four links given, then those who complete it
with four links only will receive eight marks, while a mark will
be deducted for every extra link used beyond four. Any com-
petitor, therefore, using five links would score seven marks, any
competitor using eight links would score four, and any using
twelve links or more would score nothing. The marks gained
by each competitor will be published each week.
" DEAR VANITY, — Just a year ago last Christmas, two young
ladies — smarting under that sorest scourge of feminine
humanity, the having * nothing to do ' — besought me to send
them 'some riddles.' But riddles I had none at hand, and
therefore set myself to devise some other form of verbal torture
which should serve the same purpose. The result of my medi-
tations was a new kind of Puzzle — new at least to me — which,
now that it has been fairly tested by a year's experience, and
commended by many friends, I offer to you, as a newly-gathered
nut, to be cracked by the omnivorous teeth which have already
masticated so many of your Double Acrostics.
" The rules of the Puzzle are simple enough. Two words
are proposed, of the same length ; and the Puzzle consists in
linking these together by interposing other words, each of
which shall differ from the next word in one letter only. That
is to say, one letter may be changed in one of the given words,
then one letter in the word so obtained, and so on, till we
arrive at the other given word. The letters must not be inter-
changed among themselves, but each must keep to its own
place. As an example, the word " head " may be changed
into ' tail ' by interposing the words ' heal, teal, tell, tall.' I
call the two given words 'a Doublet,' the interposed words
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 279
' Links,' and the entire series ' a Chain,' of which I here
append an example : —
HEAD
heal
teal
tell
tall
TAIL
" It is, perhaps, needless to state that it is de rigueur that the
links should be English words, such as might be used in good
society.
" The easiest * Doublets ' are those in which the consonants
in one word answer to consonants in the other, and the vowels
to vowels ; ' head ' and ' tail ' constitute a Doublet of this
kind. Where this is not the case, as in 'head' and 'hare,'
the first thing to be done is to transform one member of the
Doublet into a word whose consonants and vowels shall
answer to those in the other member (e.g., 'head, herd, here,')
after which there is seldom much difficulty in completing the
'Chain.'
" I am told that there is an American game involving a
similar principle. I have never seen it, and can only say of
its inventors, ipereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt ! '
" LEWIS CARROLL."
RULES.
1. The words given to be linked together constitute a
" Doublet," the interposed words are the "Links," and the
entire series a " Chain." The object is to complete the Chain
with the least possible number of Links.
2. Each word in the Chain must be formed from the pre-
28o THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
ceding word by changing one letter in it, and one only. The
substituted letter must occupy the same place, in the word so
formed, which the discarded letter occupied in the preceding
word, and all the other letters must retain their places.
3. When three or more words are given to be made into a
Chain, the first and last constitute a " Doublet." The others
are called "Set Links," and must be introduced into the Chain
in the order in which they are given. A Chain of this kind
must not contain any word twice over.
4. No word is admissible as a Link unless it (or, if it be an
inflection, a word from which it comes) is to be found in the
following Glossary. Comparatives and superlatives of adjec-
tives and adverbs, when regularly formed, are regarded as
" inflections " of the positive form, and are not given separately,
eg., the word " new " being given, it is to be understood that
" newer " and " newest " are also admissible. But nouns
formed from verbs (as " reader " from " read ") are not so
regarded, and may not be used as Links unless they are to be
found in the Glossary.
METHOD OF SCORING, ETC
Adopted in " Vanity Fair."
i . The marks assigned to each Doublet are as follows : —
If it be given without any Set Links, so many marks are
assigned to it as there are letters in the two words together
(e.g., a four-letter Doublet would have eight marks assigned to
it). If it be given with Set Links, so that the Chain is made
up of two or more portions, so many marks are assigned to it
as would have been assigned if each portion had been a
separate Chain (e.g., a four- letter Doublet which has two Set
Links, so that the Chain is made up of three portions, would
have twenty-four marks assigned to it).
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 281
2. Each competitor, who completes the Chain with the
least possible number of Links, will receive the full number of
marks assigned ; and each who uses more than the least
possible number of Links will lose a mark for every additional
Link.
3. Each competitor is required to send his three Chains,
with his signature attached, written on one piece of paper.
4. The Editor of " Vanity Fair " will be glad to receive any
suggestions, both as to words which it seems desirable to omit,
and as to omitted words which it seems desirable to insert ;
but any word proposed for insertion or for omission should be
exhibited as a Link between tivo other words.
5. Alterations will not be made in this Glossary during any
competition, but will be duly announced before the commence-
ment of a new competition, so that those who already possess
copies will be able to correct them, and will not be obliged to
buy a new edition.
Vanity Fair OFFICE,
13, TAVISTOCK STREET, COVENT GARDEN, LONDON.
DOUBLETS ALREADY SET
In "Vanity Fair."
PRELIMINARY DOUBLETS.
Links
1879. Needed.
March 29. — Drive PIG into STY 4
Raise FOUR to FIVE ... ... ... 6
Make WHEAT into BREAD 6
April 5. — Dip PEN into INK... 5
Touch CHIN with NOSE 5
Change TEARS into SMILE 5
282 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Links
1879. Needed.
April 1 2 . — Change WET to DRY 3
Make HARE into SOUP 6
PITCH TENTS *
FIRST COMPETITION.
April 19. — Cover EYE with LID ... ... ... 3
Prove PITY to be GOOD 6
STEAL COINS 7
26. — Make EEL into PIE 3
Turn POOR into RICH 5
Prove RAVEN to be MISER 3
May 3. — Change OAT to RYE 3
Get WOOD from TREE 7
Prove GRASS to be GREEN ... ... 7
10. — Evolve MAN from APE 5
Change CAIN into ABEL 8
Make FLOUR into BREAD 5
17. — Make TEA HOT 3
Run COMB into HAIR 6
Prove a ROGUE to be a BEAST 10
24. — Change ELM into OAK 7
Combine ARMY and NAVY 7
Place BEANS on SHELF 7
31. — HOOK FISH 6
QuELLa BRAVO 10
Stow FURIES in BARREL 5
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 283
Links
1879. Needed.
June 7. — BUY an Ass 7
Get COAL from MINE 5
Pay COSTS in PENCE 9
14. — Raise ONE to Two 7
Change BLUE to PINK 8
Change BLACK to WHITE 6
21. — Change FISH to BIRD 4
Sell SHOES for CRUST ... 6
Make KETTLE HOLDER ... 9
28. — REST on SOFA 4
Trace RIVER to SHORE 10
CARESS PARENT 2
July 5. — Change GRUB to MOTH 9
Turn WITCH into FAIRY ... ... ... 12
Make WINTER SUMMER ... ... ... 13
12. — Save LAMB from LION ... ... ... 2
Crown TIGER with ROSES 5
Lay QUILT on SHEET ... 13
19. — Put LOAF into OVEN ... ... ... 9
Make BREAD into TOAST ... 6
Put ROUGE on CHEEK ... ... ... 16
26. — WHY NOT?... ... 3
MANY will FAIL ... 7
to get
PRIZES from CHOKER q
284 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
SOLUTIONS OF DOUBLETS.
PRELIMINARY
DOUBLETS.
FIRST C
March 29.
April 19.
PIG
TEARS
EYE
sears
dye
wag
stars
•d i e
o
way
stare
d i d
/
say
stale
L I D
STY
stile
SMILE
PITY
FOUR
pits
foul
fool
April 12.
WET
?i n s
i n s
o o t
b e t
find
fort
fore
fire
FIVE
bey
d e y
DRY
fond
food
GOOD
WHEAT
HARE
STEAL
cheat
hark
steel
cheap
hack
steer
cheep
sack
sheer
creep
soak
shier
creed
soap
shies
breed
SOUP
shins
BREAD
chins
COINS
April 5.
PITCH
PEN
pinch
winch
April 26.
e' e n
wench
EEL
eel
_ i i
tench
e' e n
e i i
i 1 1
tenth
pen
111
i 1 k
INK
TENTS
p i n
P I E
NOSE
POOR
note
boor
cote
book
core
rook
corn
rock
coin
rick
CHIN
RICH
RAVEN
riven
risen
riser
MISER
May 3.
OAT
r a t
r o t
roe
RYE
TREE
free
flee
fled
feed
weed
weld
wold
WOOD
GRASS
crass
cress
ress
ees
t
tr
r e e s
reed
reed
R E EN
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 28s
FIRST COMPETITION (continued}.
May 10.
ROGUE
May 31.
COSTS
APE
vogue
HOOK
posts
are
vague
hoot
pests
value
hf
tests
ere
o s t
valve
h*
tents
err
ist
halve
c • t
tenth
ear
list
mar
helve
FISH
tench
MAN
heave
teach
leave
QUELL
peach
CAIN
chin
lease
least
BEAST
...
q u 11
q u It
g u It
peace
PENCE
shin
spin
g u 1 e
g u d e
June 14.
spun
May 24.
g 1 d e
ONE
spud
sped
ELM
e 1 1
g l.a d e
grade
owe
ewe
aped
abed
a 1 1
grave
brave
e y e
dye
ABEL
a i 1
B R A V O
doe
a i r
t o e
f i r
FURIES
too
FLOUR
far
bur i e s
TWO
floor
flood
oar
OAK
bur i e d
b u r k e d
blood
b a r k e d
BLUE
brood
bar red
glue
broad
ARMY
BARREL
g 1 u
BREAD
arms
g o u
aims
June 7.
p o u
dims
BUY
p o r
May 17.
dams
bud
p a r
TEA
dame
b i d
pan
sea
name
nave
a i d
pint
PINK
s e t
NAVY
a i m
sot
arm
HOT
a r k
BLACK
BEANS
ask
ASS
blank
b 1 n k
COMB
beams
come
seams
MINE
c 1 n k
c h n k
home
shams
mint
i
c n n e
hole
s h a m e
mist
w h n e
hale
shale
most
WHI T E
hall
shale
moat
hail
shell
coat
HAIR
SHELF
COAL
286 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
FIRST COMPETITION (continued).
ftme 21.
CARESS
July 12.
ROUGE
FISH
c a r e s t
LI ON
rough
fist
gist
par e s t
PA RENT
limn
limb
sough
sou t h
girt
LAMB
sooth
1
gird
BI RD
July 5-
GRUB
TIGER
i 1 e r
booth
boots
boa t s
SHOES
shops
chops
grab
gray
bray
brat
i 1 e s
ides
ides
i s e s
bra t s
b r a s s
crass
r» r f* C C
crops
boat
ROS E S
C r c b b
ere s t
cross
b\ ±
cress
crest
o 1 t
bole
QUILT
g u It
chest
cheat
CRUST
mole
g u 1 e
cheap
KETTLE
mote
MOTH
g u d e
l\ d e
c h e e p
CHEEK
sett 1 e
si d e
settee
setter
WITCH
winch
si c e
s p c e
July 26.
better
wench
s p n e
WHY
bet ted
tench
s p n s
who
b e 1 ted
tenth
s h n s
woo
bolted
tents
s h e s
wot
bolter
tints
s h e r
NOT
bolder
tilts
sheer
HOLDER
til Is
fills
SHEET
MANY
'June 28.
REST
falls
fails
fairs
July 19.
LOAF
leaf
mane
wane
wale
lest
FAIRY
deaf
wile
o s t
dear
will
loft
deer
wall
soft
SOFA
WINTER
winner
dyer
dyes
wail
FAIL
wanner
R I V E R
wander
eyes
rover
warder
eves
CHOKER
cover
h a r d e r
even
OVEN
choked
coves
harper
c o o k e d
cores
h a m p e r
BREAD
1 o o k e d
corns
d a m p e r
b e a k
1 o o s e d
coins
d a m p e d
b e a k
noosed
chins
dammed
b eat
noised
shins
d i m m e d
b e s t
poised
shine
d i m m e r
b a s t
prised
shone
s i m m e r
boast
prized
SHORE
SU MMER
TOA S T
PRIZES
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 287
PREFACE TO GLOSSARY.1
The following Glossary is intended to contain all well-known
English words (or, if they are inflections, words from which
they come) of 3, 4, 5, or 6 letters each, which may be used in
good society, and which can serve as Links. It is not intended
to be used as a source from which words may be obtained, but
only as a test of their being admissible.
That such a Glossary is needed may best be proved by
quoting the following passage from Vanity Fair of May 17,
1879, premising that all the strange words, here used, had
actually occurred in Chains sent in by competitors : —
" Choker humbly presents his compliments to the four
thousand three hundred and seventeen (or thereabouts) in-
dignant Doubleteers who have so strongly shent him, and pre
to being soaked in the spate of their wrath, asks for a fiver of
minutes for reflection. Choker is in a state of complete pye.
He feels that there must be a stent to the admission of spick
words. He is quite unable to sweal the chaffy spelt, to sile
the pory cole, or to swill a spate from a piny ait to the song of
the spink. Frils and the mystic Gole are strangers in his
sheal : the chanceful Gord hath never brought him gold, nor
ever did a cate become his ain. The Doubleteers will no
doubt spank him sore, with slick quotations and wild words of
yore, will pour upon his head whole steres of steens and poods
of spiles points downwards. But he trusts that those alone
who habitually use such words as these in good society, and
whose discourse is universally there understood, will be the
first to cast a stean at him."
1 I have not thought it necessary to reproduce here the glossary of words
which may be used to form links. The preface will give a sufficiently clear
idea of the classes of words which are not admissible.
288 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
As the chief object aimed at has been to furnish a puzzle
which shall be an amusing mental occupation at all times,
whether a dictionary is at hand or not, it has been sought to
include in this Glossary only such words as most educated
people carry in their memories. If any doubt should arise as
to whether any word that suggests itself is an admissible one,
it may be settled by referring to the Glossary.
When there are two words spelt alike, one a noun and one
a verb, or any other such combination, it has not been thought
necessary to include both, so long as all the inflections can be
obtained from one: e.g., "aim " is given only as a verb, since
" aims," the plural of the noun, is also the third person of the
verb; but "hale, v, a" and "hale, «," are both given, the
one being needed to supply "hales" and "haled," and the
other to supply " haler."
Two abbreviations, "e'en " and " e'er," have been included.
As to the many words which, though used and understood
in good society, are yet not available as Links, owing to there
being no other words into which they can be changed, it has
been regarded as .a matter of indifference whether they are
included or not.
The games of " Syzygies " and " Lanrick,"
invented about the same time as u Doublets," are
nevertheless a good deal more complicated, and
have never been so popular. The rules which
follow are taken from an edition printed in
1893 f°r private circulation.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 289
CHAPTER I.
SYZYGIES.
A WORD-PUZZLE.
" Phoebus, what a name ! "
§ i. DEFINITIONS.
Def. i.
WHEN two words contain the same set of one or more con-
secutive letters, a copy of it, placed in a parenthesis between
the two words, is called a " Syzygy," and is said to " yoke "
one set to the other, and also to " yoke " each letter of one set
to the corresponding letter of the other set.
Examples to Def. i.
(i) (*) (3) (4)
walrus walrus walrus mine
(a) (1) (wal) (mi)
swallow swallow swallow mimic
.., N.B. — In Ex. (2), the Syzygy may be regarded as yoking the
" 1 " in " walrus " to whichever " 1 " in " swallow " the writer
may prefer. And in Ex. (4) the Syzygy may be regarded as
yoking the " mi " in " mine " to whichever " mi " in " mimic "
the writer may prefer.
Def. 2.
A set of four or more words, with a Syzygy between every
two, is called a "Chain," of which all but the end-words are
Called "Links."
20
290 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Zfc/3.
In a "Syzygy-Problem," two words are given, which are to
form the end-words of a Chain.
Example to DeJ. 3.
If the given words are "walrus" and "carpenter" (the
Problem might be stated in the form " Introduce Walrus to
Carpenter "), the following Chain would be a solution of the
Problem : —
WALRUS
(rus)
peruse
(per)
harper
(arpe)
CARPENTER.
Every letter in a Chain, which is not yoked to some other, is
called " waste " ; but, if either of the end-words contains more
than 7 letters, the extra ones are not counted as waste.
Thus, in the above Chain, the " wal " in "walrus," the "5"
in "peruse," the "h" in "harper," and the "c" and the
" nter " in " carpenter " are " waste " : so that this Chain has
10 waste letters ; but since 2 of the 5 waste letters in "carpen-
ter " are not counted as waste, the Chain is reckoned as having
only 8 waste letters.
Dej. 5.
When two words contain the same letter, but these two
letters are forbidden to be yoked together, these two letters are
said to be " barred " with regard to each other.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 291
§ 2. RULES FOR MAKING CHAINS.
Rule i.
A Chain should be written as in the Example to Def. 3. It
does not matter which given word is placed at the top. Any
number of alternative Chains may be sent in.
Rule 2.
Any word, used as a Link, must satisfy all the following
tests :—
(a) It may not be foreign, unless it is in such common use
that it may fairly be regarded as naturalised. (The words
"ennui," " minimum," " nous," may be taken as specimens of
words thus naturalised.)
(b) It must be in common use in conversation, letters, and
books, in ordinary society. (Thus, slang words used only in
particular localities, and words used only by specialists, are
unlawful.)
(c) It may not be a proper name, when usually spelt with a
capital letter. (Thus "Chinese "is unlawful ; but "china,"
used as the name of a substance, is lawful.)
(d) It may not be an abbreviated or a compound word, when
usually written with an apostrophe, or hyphen. (Thus,
"silver'd," "don't," "man's," "coach-house," are unlawful.)
N.B. — If the Scorer accepts the infinitive of a verb as " ordi-
nary," he is bound to accept all its grammatical inflexions.
Thus, if he accepts " to strop (a razor) " as an ordinary word,
he is bound to accept "stroppest," "stroppeth," "stropping,"
and " stropped," even though the first two have probably never
been used by any human being.
But, if he accepts the singular of a noun as " ordinary," he
is not thereby bound to accept its plural ; and vice versa.
292 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Thus, he may accept " remorse " and " tidings " as " ordi
nary," and yet reject "remorses" and "tiding" as "non-
ordinary."
Rule 3.
When two words begin with the same set of one or more
consecutive letters, or would do so if certain prefixes were
removed, each letter in the one set is " barred " with regard to
the corresponding letter in the other set.
Examples to Rule 3.
Certain prefixes are here marked off by perpendicular lines,
and the " barred " letters are printed in italics.
(0 (2) (3) (4)
dog ra/riage un | dor\z un | done
door carcase door in doors
N.B. — The letters are only " barred " as here marked. They
may often be yoked in other ways: e.g., in Ex. (2), the "ca"
above may be yoked to the second " ca " below.
Rule 4.
When two words end with the same set of one or more con-
secutive letters, or would do so if certain suffixes were removed,
each letter in the one set is " barred " with regard to the cor-
responding letter in the other set.
Examples to Rule 4
Certain suffixes are here marked off by perpendicular lines,
and the " barred " letters are printed in italics.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 293
(t) (2) (3) (4)
mea/ onwM sink \ ing sink \ ing
cat moon \ink \ink\s
(5) (6)
infl#/ | ed plu/^ | es
satm/ | ing c\\&ng \ ing
N.B. — The letters are only " barred " as here marked. They
may often be yoked in other ways : e.g., in Ex. (2), the first
" on "above may be yoked to the " on " below ; in Ex. (3), (4),
the second " in " above may be yoked to the " in " below ; in
Ex. (5), the " at " above may be yoked to the first " at " below ;
and, in Ex. (6), the " ng " above may be yoked to the second
"ng " below.
Observe that, in Ex. (5), the reason why "at " is barred, is
that the words become, when the suffixes are removed, "in-
flate" and "satiate," which end with the same 3 letters.
Similarly, in Ex. (6), " plunge " and " change " end with the
same 3 letters. But in the words " plunges " and " singer," the
" ng " is not barred, since the words " plunge " and " sing " do
not end with the same letters.
Rule 5.
Nouns and verbs are not to be regarded as prefixes or
suffixes.
Thus " landlord (and) handmade " would be a lawful
Syzygy.
Rule 6.
The letters " i " and " y " may be treated as if identical.
Thus " busy(usy) using " would be a lawful Syzygy.
Rule 7.
The Score for a Chain may be calculated by writing down
7 numbers, as follows : —
294 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
(1) The greatest No. of letters in an end-Syzygy, plus twice
the least.
(2) The least No. of letters in a Syzygy.
(3) The sum of (i) plus the product of the two numbers next
above (2).
(4) The No. of Links.
(5) The No. of waste letters.
(6) The sum of twice (4) plus (5).
(7) The remainder left after deducting (6) from (3). If (6)
be greater than (3), the remainder is written as " o."
No (7) is entered as the Score of the Chain.
Example to Rule 7.
The figures on the right indicate the Nos. of waste letters.
WALRUS ... ... ... ... ... 3
(rus)
peruse ... ... ... ... ... i
(per)
harper ... i
(arpe)
CARPENTER .
As the greatest No. of letters in an end-Syzygy is "4," and
the least is • " 3," No. (i) is " 10." Also (No. 2) is "3."
Hence No. (3) is the sum of " 10" plus "4 times 5," i.e., it
is " 30." Also there are 2 Links and 8 waste letters. Hence
No. (4) is " 2," No. (5) is "8"; and No. (6) is the sum of
"twice 2 " plus "8"; i.e., it is " 12." Hence No. (7) is the
remainder after deducting " 12 " from " 30 " ; i.e., it is " 18 " ;
which is the Score for the Chain.
The result may be conveniently recorded thus :—
10, 3, 30; 2, 8, 12 ; 18.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 295
The formula for the Score may, for the benefit of Algebraists,
be stated thus :—
Let a = greatest No. of letters in an end-Syzygy.
b = least do.
m = least No. in a Syzygy ;
1 — No. of Links ;
w = No. of waste letters :
then the Score =
(a + 2b) (m + i). (m + 2) -(21 + w).
§ 3. RULES FOR SCORING CHAINS.
Rule i.
If the writer of a Chain has omitted a Syzygy, the Scorer
inserts a one-letter Syzygy, if he can find a lawful one.
Rule 2.
If the writer has omitted a Link, the Scorer erases- the two
adjacent Syzygies, and proceeds as in Rule i.
Rule 3.
If a Link be mis-spelt, the Scorer corrects it
Rule 4.
If a Syzygy contains unlawful letters, the Scorer erases them,
and deducts twice that number of marks from the Score.
. Rule 5.
If one of two consecutive Syzygies contains the other, the
Scorer erases the intermediate Link, and one Syzygy containing
the other.
296 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Examples to Rule 5.
(i) (*)
meeting meeting
(ting) (ting)
tinge tinge
(ing) (ting)
loving loving
N.B. In Ex. (i) the Scorer erases "tinge" and the first
Syzygy: in Ex. (2), he erases "tinge "and either Syzygy. The
results are : —
meeting meeting
(ing) (ting)
loving loving
both of which are, by Rule 4, unlawful Syzygies.
Rule 6.
The penalty, awarded by the preceding Rule, cannot be
evaded by writing shorter Syzygies than might be claimed, so
as to avoid the result of one containing the other. In such a
case, the Scorer would treat them as if written in full.
• Examples to Rule 6.
meeting
(tin)
tinge
(ng)
parting
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 297
This would be treated as if it had been written, in full,
meeting
(ting)
tinge
(ting)
parting
Rule 7.
If the Chain now contains less than two Links, or an un-
lawful Link or Syzygy, the Scorer rejects it. Otherwise he
calculates its Score.
Rule 8.
In reckoning " the least number of letters in a Syzygy," the
Scorer takes no notice of any Syzygies inserted by himself,
unless there are no others.
Rule 9.
If a writer sends in alternative Chains, the Scorer takes the
best of them.
Rule 10.
If all be rejected, the Scorer puts " O " against the writer's
name, assigning a reason for rejecting each Chain.
Rule ii.
In announcing a Problem, the Scorer may bar any word,
that he likes to name, from being used as a Link. After
receiving the " First-Chains,''' he must publish a list of the
Links which he regards as violating Rule 2, and of the
Syzygies which he regards as violating, owing to the occur-
298 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
rence of prefixes or suffixes, Rule 3 or Rule 4, and he must
then allow time for sending in " Second-Chains." He may
not, when scoring, reject any " First-Chain " for a defect
which ought to have been, but was not, published in the
above-named list.
§ 4. HINTS ON MAKING CHAINS.
I have tried to embody some useful hints on this subject in
the form of a soliloquy, supposed to be indulged in by the
possessor of what Tennyson would call " a second-rate sensi-
tive mind," while solving the problem " Turn CAMEL into
DROMEDARY."
" No use trying the whole Camel. Let's try four letters.
' Came.' That must be something ending in ' cament,' I
fancy. That gives ' predicament,' and ' medicament ' : I
can't think of any others : and either of these would lead to
'mental' or 'mention.' Then 'amel.' That gives' tamely'
and ' lamely.' ' Samely ' is hardly an ' ordinary ' word : and
I'm afraid ' gamely ' is slang ! Well, we've got four Links, at
any rate. Let's put them down : —
x I predicament (ment) ( mental
(came)
CAMEL J medicament I mention
(
I (amel)
( lamely
" Now for DROMEDARY. No. 5-letter Syzygy, that / can
see. Let's try the 4*5. ' Drom.' There's 'loxodrome,' but
that's quite a specialist's word. And there's 'palindrome' — no,
that won't do: 'palin' is a prefix. 'Rome.' That gives
'chrome,' which is not very hopeful to go on with. ' Omed.'
That'll give us all the participles ending in '-omed': 'domed,'
' doomed,' ' groomed ' ; not very suggestive : however,
there's ' comedy ' : that sounds hopeful. ' Meda.' Well,
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 299
there's ' medal,' and ' medalist,' and — and — that's all, I think :
but 'medalist' leads to 'listen,' or 'listless.' ' Edar.' That
leads to' cedar,' and words beginning with 're,' such as 're-
darn this stocking' — no, I'm afraid that would have a hyphen !
However, 'cedar,' leads to 'dared,' or any participle ending in
'-ced. ' Dary.' There's ' daring ' : that might lead to
something, such as ' fringe,' or 'syringe.' Well, let's tabulate
again : —
DROMEDARY^
domed, &c.
comedy
medal
medalist (list)
(dar) dared
(ced) ... ced
(dary) daring (ring)
(omed)
(meda)
(edar) cedar
listen
listless
fringe
syringe
"Now, can we link any of these ragged ends together?
'Predicament.' That'll link on to 'dared,' though it's only a
3-letter Syzygy. That gives the Chain ' Camel (came) pre-
dicament (red) dared (dar) cedar (edar) dromedary.' But
there's something wrong there ! ' Edar ' contains ' dar.' We
must write it ' Camel (came) predicament (red) dared (dar)
dromedary.' That'll score 17. Let's try another Chain.
' Predicament ' and ' cedar ' can be linked by putting in ' en-
ticed.' How will that work ? ' Camel (came) predicament
(ent) enticed (ced) cedar (edar) dromedary.' That scores only
1 6 ! Try again. ' Medicament.' Why that links straight on
to 'comedy,' with a 4-letter Syzygy! That's the best chance
we've had yet. ' Camel (came) medicament (medi) comedy
(omed) dromedary.' And what does that score, I wonder ?
Why it actually scores 3 1 ! Bravo ! "
If any of my readers should fail, in attempting a similar
300 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
soliloquy, let her say to herself, " It is not that my mind is not
sensitive : it is that it is not second-rate ! " Then she will feel
consoled !
§ 5. SOME SFZKCF-PROBLEMS.
The gentle reader (N.B. All readers are "gentle": an un-
gentle reader is a lusus natura never yet met with) may like
to amuse herself by attempting (without referring to ij 6)
some of the following Problems, solutions of which have
been published in the Lady. The appended scores are the
highest hitherto attained.
(1) OH Do! ii
(2) INDULGE an IDIOSYNCRASY 15
(3) Make BULLETS of LEAD ... 17
(4) Reconcile DOG to CAT ... 19
(5) COOK the DINNER ... 20
(6) Lay KNIFE by FORK ... 21
(7) CONVERSE CHEERFULLY ... ... 25
(8) SPREAD the BANQUET ... 27
(9) WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON ... ... 28
(10) DEMAND a CORMORANT 29
^ 6. SOLUTIONS OF THE PROBLEMS.
The appended dates refer to the numbers of the Lady in
which these solutions appeared.
(i) March 24, 1892.
OH ... o
(oh)
cohere ... ... ... ... ... i
(ere)
reredos ... 2
(do)
Do ... ... ... o
Score :— 6, 2, 18 ; 2, 3, 7 : n.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 301
(2) March 3, 1892.
INDULGE 4
(ndu)
unduly ... ... ... ... ... i
(duly)
incredulity ... ... ... ... 3
(incr)
IDIOSYNCRASY ... 3
Score: — 10, 3, 30 ; 2, n, 15 : 15.
(3) March 17, 1892.
LEAD ... i
(lea)
plea ... ... ... ... ... o
(pie)
sample ... ... ... ... ... o
(sam)
jetsam ... ... i
(ets)
BULLETS ... ... 4
Score:— 9, 3, 29 ; 3, 6, 12 : 17.
(4) October i, 1891.
DOG o
(dog)
endogen... ... 2
(gen)
gentry ... ... ... o
(ntry)
intricate ... ... ... 2
(cat)
CAT ... o
Score : — 9, 3, 29 ; 3, 4, 10 : 19.
302 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
(5) May 5, 1892.
t COOK ... ... i
(coo)
scooping • « • 2
(pin)
pinned ... ... i
(inne)
DINNER ... ... 2
Score :— 10, 3, 30 ; 2, 6, 10 : 20.
(6) March 10, 1892.
KNIFE ... ... i
(nife)
manifest ... ... 2
(man)
workman ... ... i
(ork)
FORK ... ... i
Score:— 10, 3, 30 ; 2, 5, 9 : 21.
(7) May 26, 1892.
CONVERSE ... 3
(erse)
persevering • • • 3
(erin)
merino ... ... i
(meri)
perfumery ... ... ... i
(erfu)
CHEERFULLY ... 3
Score : — 12, 4, 42 ; 3, n, 17 : 25.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 303
(8) May 12, 1892.
SPREAD ' 2
(read)
readiness ... ... ... ... r
(ines)
shines o
(shin)
vanquishing 3
(anqu)
BANQUET 3
Score :— 12, 4, 42 ; 3, 9, 15 : 27.
(9) April 14, 1892.
WEDNESDAY 2
(ednes)
blessedness 3
(esse)
finesse ... ... ... ... ... i
(iness)
craftiness ... ... ... ... i
(raft)
rafter o
(after)
AFTERNOON 2
Score:— 15, 4, 45 ; 4, 9, 17 : 28.
(10) March 31, 1892.
DEMAND ... ... 2
(eman)
gentleman ... ... i
(gent)
tangent ... ... i
(ange)
orange o
(oran)
CORMORANT 3
Score:— 12, 4, 42 ; 3, 7, 13 : 29.
304 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
CHAPTER II.
LAN RICK.
A GAME FOR Two PLAYERS.
"The muster-place be Lanrick-mead."
§ i. REQUISITES FOR THE GAME.
THIS Game requires a chess or draughts board, 8 men of
one colour and 8 of another (chess-pawns, draughts, or
counters), and 9 pieces of card, cut to the size of a square, to
serve as markers.
§ 2. DEFINITIONS.
Def. i.
A " Rendezvous " is a set of squares, into which each Player
tries to get his men. The position of its central square is
determined by that of the Mark, and the number of its square
is always one less than that of the men which are on the Board
when the Mark is set. There are two kinds of Rendezvous,
"close "and "open."
Def. 2,
A Rendezvous must be "close," when the number of its
squares is odd. It consists of the marked square and certain
.adjacent squares, as shown in the following diagrams, in which
the Players are supposed to be at the upper and lower edges.
The numerals indicate the number of Rendezvous-squares,
the letter " m " the Mark, and the asterisks the Rendezvous-
squares.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 305
(9) (7) (5)
111
111
A 3-square Rendezvous consists of a line of 3 square having
the marked square in the middle, in any position, straight or
slanting, chosen by the Player who sets the Mark.
A Rendezvous must be " open," when the number of its
squares is even. It consists of certain border-squares, which
would be in " check " if the Mark were a chess-queen, as
shown in the following diagrams, which are to be interpreted
as in Def. 2.
(8)
(6)
Hill
—
21
306 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
(4)
For any but a 9-square Rendezvous, it will be found con-
venient to mark the Rendezvous-squares with pieces of card.
§ 3. RULES.
Rule i.
Each man may be moved along any line of unoccupied
squares, straight or slanting, but may not (except in the case
named in Rule 6) change its direction.
Ruie 2.
To begin the game, ten men are set as in this diagram, in
which the five B's indicate black men, and the five W's white
men. Then one Player sets the Mark. Both then try to play
their men into the Rendezvous thus determined, he, who did
not set the Mark, having the first turn.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 307
BLACK.
w
B
JV
—
—
B
W
B
W i
w
WHITE.
Rule 3.
In playing the first turn for a Rendezvous, a Player may
move 2 squares only. In any other turn he may move 5, 4, or
3 squares, according as he has on the Board more than 4, 4,
or less than 4 men. He may divide these squares among his
men as he likes, but may not move more than 3 of them with
any one man, unless it be his only man outside the Rendezvous.
He need not move more than one square in one turn. While
playing, he should count aloud the squares through or into
which he moves a man. After once playing a man and letting
go of it, he may not move it again in that turn.
Rule 4.
The Mark, for any Rendezvous, may be set on any but a
border-square ; for a 3-square Rendezvous it may be set on
any but a corner-square, provided that he, who sets it, has no
man in the Rendezvous thus determined.
308 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Rule 5.
When the Mark has been set, he, who did not set it, may,
before playing, demand an " interchange " ; in which case he,
who set the Mark, must interchange all his own men with
whichever he chooses of the others.
Rule 6.
In playing for an open Rendezvous, a Player may move any
man, that is on the border, along it, without regarding the
corners, as if it were one continuous line of squares ; and any
such man, if not moved beyond the first Rendezvous-square,
reckons as having been moved one square only ; but, if it be
moved beyond, each square so moved must be counted as in
Rule 3.
Rule 7.
When a Player has got all his men into the Rendezvous, it
being not yet full, he removes one of the outlying men from
the Board, replacing it with a fresh man of his own colour ;
and this ends his turn.
Rule 8.
When a Player has got all his men into the Rendezvous, it
being now full, he removes the outlying man from the Board.
Then he who has fewest men on the Board, or in case of
equality he who has just lost a man, sets the Mark for the next
Rendezvous, as in Rule 4.
Rule 9.
When a Player has only one man left, he has lost the
Game.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 309
§ 4. HINTS TO PLAYERS.
In playing for a " close " Rendezvous, remember that you
have two objects in view — one to get your own men in, the
other to keep the enemy's men out. A mere race for the
Rendezvous is not always your best course ; much may be
done by getting into the way of the enemy's men, and check-
ing their advance. Do not try to block all his men ; one is
generally as much as you can hope ultimately to exclude :
hence it is often good play to select that man of the enemy's
who is furthest from the Rendezvous and to devote to his
especial benefit the services of (say) three of your own
men, whose duty it will be to march, in close rank, in front of
him, as a kind of " guard of honour," taking care to march ///
in front of him, so as to be able to announce his approach,
and secure his being received with all proper respect !
It is an advantage to get hold of the central square of a
" close " Rendezvous, and also of a square at that corner (or
side) of it where you wish to bring in another man, As soon
as the outsider has reached a square adjacent to this corner-
man, he can be played in, in the following turn, by first
moving the central man into some vacant Rendezvous-square,
then the corner-man into the central square, and then the
outsider into the corner-square.
For instance, supposing it to be a
nine-square Rendezvous, and that your
B
5 men are A, B, C,
— I D, E (A being in
the centre), and that
the enemy's 5 men
A cl
C ; D
c d
are a, fi, c, d, e^ and that it is your turn
to play; you may win the Rendezvous
by moving A into the vacant square, D
into A's place, and E into D's. Or, if the men be arranged
310 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
thus (c being in the centre), you may win it by moving A into
the vacant square, B into A's place, C into B's, D into C's,
and E into D's.
Similarly, in playing for an " open " Rendezvous, supposing
it to consist of 8 squares (here marked by asterisks), and that
your 4 men are A, B, C, D, and the enemy's 5 men a, b, c^ d, e
d I
* b
in
1)
B
A !
*
and that it is your turn to play ; you may win the Rendezvous
by moving A into the vacant Rendezvous-square, B into A's
place, C into B's, and D into C's.
You should also arrange your men, that are already in the
Rendezvous, so as to make things comfortable for those of the
enemy's men who are on their way towards
it. For instance, if it be a 9-square Rendez-
vous, and if there are four such men
approaching from the East : by placing
three of your men in the squares marked
with asterisks, you may form an impene-
trable wall across the Rendezvous, and thus provide a set of
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 311
three vacant squares to accommodate the four weary travellers
— a polite attention which they will not soon forget. Similarly,
if there are two of the enemy's men approach-
ing from the North-East : by placing three of
your men, as here indicated, you will provide
one vacant square for the two guests, who will
probably indulge in the pathetic strain, " Now
one of us must stop outside, But that one
won't be me ! So, Tommy, make room for your Uncle ! "
Should you find that the enemy is likely to get all his men
into the Rendezvous, while you still have two or three men
outside, remember that, as soon as all his men are in, he will
replace one of your outlying men with a fresh man of his own
colour ; and that he will most certainly choose for this purpose
whichever of the outlying men is nearest to the Rendezvous.
Consequently, your best course is to have no one of them
nearer than the others. Keep them all together, at the same
distance from the Rendezvous, so that, whichever of them he
transforms into an enemy, you can at once bar its progress
with your other outlying men.
The advice I have given, as to barring the progress of the
enemy's men rather than merely hurrying on with your own,
is also worth remembering when playing for an " open "
Rendezvous.
In carrying out the operation described in Rule 5 — the
interchanging of the two sets of men — difficulties may arise,
when men have been taken off their squares, in settling which
squares they came from. These difficulties may lead to angry
disputes ; thence to mutual accusations of unveracity ; thence
to estrangement of friends ; and thence to family feuds, lasting
through several generations. These deplorable results may all
be avoided by observing the following simple Rule :—
Move every one of the men, which are to be interchanged,
into a corner of its square. Place a card- marker on a square
3i2 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
occupied by a white man (I am supposing the two colours to
be " white " and " black "), and take the white man off its
square. Place this white man in the centre of a square
occupied by a black man, and take the black man off its
square. Place this black man in the centre of a square
occupied by another white man. Proceed thus till all the
men on the Board are in the centres of squares, and you have
one black man in hand, which of course you place on the
square indicated by the card-marker.
Rule 5 serves to prevent the Mark from being so set that
he who sets it is quite certain to get his men in first — which
certainly would rob the Game of much of its interest. In
playing for a final 3-square Rendezvous, the mere setting of
the Mark would, but for this Rule, decide the Game.
Among the puzzles which I have collected for
this chapter, the place of honour must be given
to the following " Logical Paradox," with which
Lewis Carroll was very fond of bewildering his
friends during the last few years of his life.
A LOGICAL PARADOX.
"What, nothing to do? "said Uncle Jim. "Then come
along with me down to Allen's. And you can just take a turn
while I get myself shaved."
" All right," said Uncle Joe. " And the Cub had better
come too, I suppose ? "
The " Cub " was me, as the reader will perhaps have guessed
for himself. I'm turned fifteen — more than three months ago ;
but there's no sort of use in mentioning that to Uncle Joe ;
he'd only say, " Go to your cubbicle, little boy ! " or, " Then I
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 313
suppose you can do cubbic equations ? " or some equally vile
pun. He asked me yesterday to give him an instance of a
Proposition in A. And I said, " All uncles make vile puns."
And I don't think he liked it. However, that's neither here
nor there. I was glad enough to go. I do love hearing those
uncles of mine "chop logic," as they call it; and they're
desperate hands at it, /can tell you !
"That is not a logical inference from my remark," said
Uncle Jim.
" Never said it was," said Uncle Joe ; " it's a Reductio ad
Absurdum"
"An Illicit Process of the Minor ! " chuckled Uncle Jim.
That's the sort of way they always go on, whenever Pm
with them. As if there was any fun in calling me a Minor !
After a bit, Uncle Jim began again, just as we came in
sight of the barber's. " I only hope Carr will be at home,"
he said. " Brown's so clumsy. And Allen's hand has been
shaky ever since he had that fever."
" Carr's certain to be in," said Uncle Joe.
" I'll bet you sixpence he isn't ! " said I.
" Keep your bets for your betters," said Uncle Joe. " I
mean " — he hurried on, seeing by the grin on my face what a
slip he'd made — " I mean that I can prove it, logically. It
isn't a matter of chance"
" Prove it logically ! " sneered Uncle Jim. " Fire away,
then ! I defy you to do it ! "
" For the sake of argument," Uncle Joe began, " let us
assume Carr to be out. And let us see what that assumption
would lead to. I'm going to do this by Reductio ad Absur-
dum.'
" Of course you are ! " growled Uncle Jim. " Never knew
any argument of yours that didn't end in some absurdity or
other ! "
" Unprovoked by your unmanly taunts," said Uncle Joe in
314 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
a lofty tone, " I proceed. Carr being out, you will grant that,
if Allen is also out, Brown must be at home ? "
" What's the good of his being at home ? " said Uncle Jim.
" I don't want Brown to shave me ! He's too clumsy."
" Patience is one of those inestimable qualities " Uncle
Joe was beginning; but Uncle Jim cut him off short.
" Argue ! " he said. " Don't moralise ! "
" Well, but do you grant it ? " Uncle Joe persisted. " Do
you grant me that, if Carr is out, it follows that if Allen is out
Brown must be in ? "
" Of course he must," said Uncle Jim ; " or there'd be
nobody to mind the shop."
" We see, then, that the absence of Carr brings into play a
certain Hypothetical, whose protasis is ' Allen is out,' and
whose apodosis is Brown is in.' And we see that, so long as
Carr remains out, this Hypothetical remains in force ? "
" Well, suppose it does. What then ? " said Uncle Jim.
" You will also grant me that the truth of a Hypothetical —
I mean its validity as a logical sequence — does not in the least
depend on its protasis being actually true, nor even on its
being possible. The Hypothetical * If you were to run from
here to London in five minutes you would surprise people,'
remains true as a sequence, whether you can 4° it or not."
" I can't do it" said Uncle Jim.
" We have now to consider another Hypothetical. What
was that you told me yesterday about Allen ? "
" I told you," said Uncle Jim, " that ever since he had that
fever he's been so nervous about going out alone, he always
takes Brown with him."
ujust so," said Uncle Joe. "Then the Hypothetical 'If
Allen is out Brown is out ' is always in force, isn't it ? "
"I suppose so," said Uncle Jim. (He seemed to be getting
a little nervous himself now.)
" Then, if Carr is out, we have two Hypothetical, ' if Allen
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 315
is out Brown is in,' and ' if Allen is out Brown is out,' in force
at once. And two incompatible Hypotheticals, mark you !
They can't possibly be true together ! "
" Can't they ? " said Uncle Jim.
" How can they ? " said Uncle Joe. " How can one and the
same protasis prove two contradictory apodoses ? You grant
that the two apodoses, ' Brown is in " and ' Brown is out,' are
contradictory, I suppose ? "
" Yes, I grant that," said Uncle Jim.
"Then I may sum up," said Uncle Jim. "If Carr is out,
these two Hypotheticals are true together. And we know
that they cannot be true together. Which is absurd. There-
fore Carr cannot be out. There's a mceReductio ad Absurdum
for you ! "
Uncle Jim looked thoroughly puzzled ; but after a bit he
plucked up courage, and began again. " I don't feel at all
clear about that incompatibility. Why shouldn't those two
Hypotheticals be true together ? It seems to me that would
simply prove ' Allen is in.' Of course it's clear that the
apodoses of those two Hypotheticals are incompatible — * Brown
is in ' and ' Brown is out.' But why shouldn't we put it like
this ? If Allen is out Brown is out. If Carr and Allen are
both out, Brown is in. Which is absurd. Therefore Carr and
Allen can't be both of them out. But, so long as Allen is in,
I don't see what's to hinder Carr from going out."
" My dear, but most illogical brother!" said Uncle Joe.
(Whenever Uncle Joe begins to " dear " you, you may make
pretty sure he's got you in a cleft stick !) " Don't you see
that you are wrongly dividing the protasis and the apodosis of
that Hypothetical ? Its protasis is simply ' Carr is out ' ; and
its apodosis is a sort of sub-Hypothetical, ' If Allen is out,
Brown is in." And a most absurd apodosis it is, being hope-
lessly incompatible with that other Hypothetical, that we
know is always true, ' If Allen is out, Brown is out.' And it's
316 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
simply the assumption ' Carr is out ' that has caused this
absurdity. So there's only one possible conclusion — Carr is
in!"
How long this argument might have lasted I haven't the
least idea. I believe either of them could argue for six hours
at a stretch. But just at this moment we arrived at the barber's
shop ; and, on going inside, we found —
The following diagram, which should be copied
.64-6.5
\
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1
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\
1
N
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+,+
^
^^
\
\
|
^""
,-''
^^~~
\
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\
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l
\
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v
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\
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 317
upon a square piece of paper, and then cut out
along the dotted lines, represents another favourite
puzzle of Mr. Dodgson's. When the square has
been divided into its four sections it will be found
that they may not only be arranged as a square,
but also as an oblong. In the first case the figure
appears to be made up of sixty-four small squares,
in the second of sixty-five, and the puzzle is to
account for this discrepancy.
The first of the three puzzles which conclude
this chapter bears a strong resemblance to the
well-known old difficulty about the safe conveying
of 4<the fox, and the goose, and the bag of corn,"
which was also a great favourite of Lewis Carroll's
when he had to amuse some of his smaller " child-
friends."
i.
Four gentlemen and their wives wanted to cross the river in
a boat that would not hold more than two at a time.
The conditions were, that no gentleman must leave his wife
on the bank unless with only women or by herself, and also
that some one must always bring the boat back.
How did they do it ?
2.
A customer bought goods in a shop to the amount of 7/3.
The only money he had was a half-sovereign, a florin, and a
sixpence : so he wanted change. The shopman only had a
3i8 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
crown, a shilling, and a penny. But a friend happened to
come in, who had a double-florin, a half-crown, a fourpenny-
bit, and a threepenny-bit.
Could they manage it ?
A captive Queen and her son and daughter were shut up in
the top room of a very high tower. Outside their window
was a pulley with a rope round it, and a basket fastened at
each end of the rope of equal weight. They managed to
escape with the help of this and a weight they found in the
room, quite safely. It would have been dangerous for any
of them to come down if they weighed more than 15 Ibs.
more than the contents of the lower basket, for they would do
so too quick, and they also managed not to weigh less either.
The one basket coming down would naturally of course
draw the other up.
How did they do it ?
The Queen weighed 195 Ibs., daughter 165, son 90, and
the weight 75.
This is an addition to the puzzle —
The Queen had with her in the room, besides her son and
daughter and the weight, a pig weighing 60 Ibs., a dog 45 Ibs.,
and a cat 30. These have to be brought down safely, too,
with the same restriction. The weight can come down any
way, of course.
The additional puzzle consists in this — there must be
some one at each end to put the animals into and out of
the baskets.
SIR MICHAEL HICKS-HEACH.
(From a photograph by Lewis Carroll.)
CHAPTER VII
MISCELLANEA CARROLLIANA
UNDER the above head I have gathered
together several papers of Lewis Carroll's,
both grave and gay, and also some remi-
niscences of him from various sources. I take
first a journal which he wrote for Miss Isa Bow-
man to commemorate a visit which she paid him
at Oxford in 1888.
ISA'S VISIT TO OXFORD, 1888.
CHAPTER I.
ON Wednesday, the Eleventh of July, Isa happened to meet
a friend at Paddington Station at half- past ten. She can't
remember his name, but she says he was an old old old
gentleman, and he had invited her, she thinks, to go with
him somewhere or other, she can't remember where.
22 ^2I
322 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
CHAPTER II.
THE first thing they did,- after 'calling at a shop, was to go to
the Panorama of the " Falls of Niagara." Isa thought it very
wonderful. You seemed to be on the top of a tower, with
miles and miles of country all round you. The things in front
were real, and somehow they joined into the picture behind, so
that you couldn't tell where the real things ended and the
picture began. Near the foot of the Falls, there was a steam-
packet crossing the river, which showed what a tremendous
height the Falls must be, it looked so tiny. In the road in
front were two men and a dog, standing looking the other way.
They may have been wooden figures, or part of the picture,
there was no knowing which. The man, who stood next to
Isa, said to another man, " That dog looked round just now.
Now see, I'll whistle to him, and make him look round again !"
and he began whistling : and Isa almost expected, it looked
so exactly like a real dog, that it would turn its head to see who
was calling it. ,/
After that Isa and her friend (the Aged Aged man) went to
the house of a Mr. Dymes — Mrs. Dymes gave them some
dinner, and two of her children, called Helen and Maud, went
with them to Terry's Theatre, to see the phy of " Little Lord
Fauntleroy." Little Vera Beringer was the little Lord Faunt-
leroy. Isa would have liked to play the part, but the Manager
at the theatre did not allow her, as she did not know the words,
which would have made it go off badly. Isa liked the whole
play very much : the passionate old Earl, and the gentle
Mother of the little boy, and the droll " Mr. Hobbs " and all
of them.
Then they all went off by the Metropolitan Railway, and the
Miss Dymeses got out at their station, and Isa and the A. A.M.
went on to Oxford. A kind old lady, called Mrs. Symonds,
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 323
had invited Isa to come and sleep at her house : and she was
soon fast asleep, and dreaming that she and little Lord Faunt-
leroy were going in a steamer down the Falls of Niagara, and
whistling to a dog, who was in such a hurry to go up the Falls
that he wouldn't attend to them.
CHAPTER III.
THE next morning Isa set off, almost before she was awake,
with the A.A.M. to pay a visit to a little college, called "Christ
Church." You go under a magnificent tower, called "Tom
Tower, " nearly four feet high (so that Isa had hardly to stoop
at all, to go under it) and into the Great Quadrangle (which
very vulgar people call " Tom Quad "). You should always
be polite, even when speaking to a Quadrangle : it might seem
not to take any notice, but it doesn't like being called names.
On their way to Christ Church they saw a tall monument, like
the spire of a church, called the " Martyrs' Memorial," put up
in memory of three Bishops, Cranmer, Ridley and Latimer,
who were burned in the reign of Queen Mary, because they
would not be Roman Catholics. Christ Church was built in
1546.
They had breakfast at Ch. Ch. in the rooms of the A.A.M. ,
and then Isa learned how to print with the " Type- Writer," and
printed several beautiful volumes of poetry, all of her own
invention. By this time it was i o'clock, so Isa paid a visit
to the Kitchen, to make sure that the chicken for her dinner
was being properly roasted. The Kitchen is about the oldest
part of the College, so was built about 1546. It has a fire-
grate large enough to roast forty legs of mutton at once.
Then they saw the Dining Hall, in which the A.A.M. has
dined several times (about 8,000 times, perhaps). After dinner,
they went, through the quadrangle of the Bodleian Library,
324 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
into Broad Street, and as a band was just going by, of course
they followed it. (Isa likes Bands better than anything in the
world, except Lands, and walking on Sands, and wringing her
Hands.) The Band led them into the gardens of Wadham
College (built in 1613), where there was a school-treat going
on. The treat was, first marching twice round the garden-
then having a photograph done of them, all in a row — then a
promise of " Punch and Judy," which wouldn't be ready for
20 minutes, so Isa and Co. wouldn't wait, but went back
to Ch. Ch., and saw the " Broad Walk." In the evening they
played at " Reversi," till Isa had lost the small remainder of
her temper. Then she went to bed, and dreamed she was
Judy, and was beating Punch with a stick of barley- sugar.
CHAPTER IV.
ON Friday morning (after taking her medicine very amiably),
went with the A. A.M. (who would go with her, though she told
him over and over she would rather be alone) to the gardens
of Worcester College (built in 1714), where they didn't see the
swans (who ought to have been on the lake), nor the hippo-
potamus, who ought not to have been walking about among
the flowers, gathering honey like a busy bee.
After breakfast Isa helped the A. A.M. to pack his luggage,
because he thought he would go away, he didn't know where,
some day, he didn't know when — so she put a lot of things,
she didn't know what, into boxes, she didn't know which.
After dinner they went to St. John's College (built in
1 SSS)' and admired the large lawn, where more than 150
ladies, dressed in robes of gold and silver, were not walking
about.
Then they saw the Chapel of Keble College (built in 1870)
and then the New Museum, where Isa quite lost her heart tc
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 325
a charming stuffed Gorilla, that smiled on her from a glass case.
The Museum was finished in 1860. The most curious thing
they saw there was a " Walking Leaf," a kind of insect that
looks exactly like a withered leaf.
Then they went to New College (built in 1386), and saw,
close to the entrance, a " skew " arch (going slantwise through
the wall), one of the first ever built in England. After seeing
the gardens, they returned to Ch. Ch. (Parts of the old City
walls run round the gardens of New College : and you may
still see some of the old narrow slits, through which the
defenders could shoot arrows at the attacking army, who
could hardly succeed in shooting through them from the
outside.)
They had tea with Mrs. Paget, wife of Dr. Paget, one of the
Canons of Ch. Ch. Then after a sorrowful evening, Isa went
to bed, and dreamed she was buzzing about among the flowers,
with the dear Gorilla : but there wasn't any honey in them —
only slices of bread-and-butter, and multiplication- tables.
CHAPTER V.
ON Saturday Isa had a Music Lesson, and learned to play
on an American Orguinette. It is not a very difficult instru-
ment to play, as you have only to turn a handle round and
rouncf : so she did it nicely. You put a long piece of paper
in, and it goes through the machine, and the holes in the
paper make different notes play. They put one in wrong end
first, and had a tune backwards, and soon found themselves in
the day before yesterday. So they dared not go on, for fear of
makirtg Isa so young she would not be able to talk. The
A. A.M. does not like visitors who only howl, and get red in
the face, from morning to night.
In the afternoon they went round Ch. Ch. meadow, and saw
326 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
the Barges belonging to the Colleges, and some pretty views of
Magdalen Tower through the trees.
Then they went through the "Botanical Gardens," built
in the year — no, by the bye, they never were built at all.
And then to Magdalen College. At the top of the wall in one
corner they saw a very large jolly face, carved in stone, with a
broad grin, and a little man at the side, helping him to laugh
by pulling up the corner of his mouth for him. Isa thought
that, the next time she wants to laugh, she will get Nellie and
Maggie to help her. With two people to pull up the corners of
your mouth for you, it is as easy to laugh as can be !
They went into Magdalen Meadow, which has a pretty walk
all round it, arched over with trees ; and there they met a lady
"from Amurrica," as she told them, who wanted to know the
way to " Addison's Walk," and particularly wanted to know
if there would be " any danger " in going there. They told
her the way, and that most of the lions and tigers and buffaloes,
round the meadow, were quite gentle and hardly ever killed
people : so she set off, pale and trembling, and they saw her
no more : only they heard her screams in the distance, so they
guessed what had happened to her.
Then they rode in a tram-car to another part of Oxford, and
called on a lady called Mrs. Jeune, and her little grand-
daughter, called " Noel," because she was born on Christmas
Day (" Noel " is the French name for " Christmas "). And
there they had so much Tea that at last Isa nearly turned into
"Teaser."
Then they went home, down a little narrow street, where
there was a little dog standing fixed in the middle of the street,
as if its feet were glued to the ground : they asked it how long
it meant to stand there, and it said (as well as it could) " till
the week after next."
Then Isa went to bed, and dreamed she was going round
Magdalen Meadow, with the "Amurrican" lady, and there
g I
« ^
$ I
3 ft!
328 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
was a buffalo sitting at the top of every tree, handing her cups
of tea as she went underneath : but they all held the cups
upside down, so that the tea poured all over her head and
ran down her face.
CHAPTER VI.
ON Sunday morning they went to St. Mary's Church, in
High Street. In coming home, down the street next to the
one where they had found a fixed dog, they found a fixed cat
—a poor little kitten, that had put out its head through the
bars of the cellar window, and couldn't get back again. They
rang the bell at the next door, but the maid said the cellar
wasn't in that house, and before they could get to the right
door the cat had unfixed its head — either from its neck or
from the bars — and had gone inside. Isa thought the animals
in this city have a curious way of fixing themselves up and
down the place, as if they were hat pegs.
They then went back to Ch. Ch., and looked at a lot of
dresses, which the A. A.M. kept in a cupboard, to dress up
children in, when they came to be photographed. Some of
the dresses had been used in Pantomimes at Drury Lane :
some were rags, to dress up beggar-children in : some had
been very magnificent once, but were getting quite old and
shabby. Talking of old dresses, there is one College in Ox-
ford so old that it is not known for certain when it was built.
The people, who live there, say it was built more than 1,000
years ago : and, when they say this, the people who live in the
other Colleges never contradict them, but listen most respect-
fully— only they wink a little with one eye, as if they didn't
quite believe it.
The same day, Isa saw a curious book of pictures of
ghosts. If you look hard at one for a minute, and then look
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 329
at the ceiling, you see another ghost there — only, when you
have a black one in the book, it is a white one on the ceiling
— when it is green in the book, it is pink on the ceiling.
In the middle of the day, as usual, Isa had her dinner, but
this time it was grander than usual. There was a dish of
" Meringues " (this is pronounced " Marangs "), which Isa
thought so good that she would have liked to live on them all
the rest of her life.
They took a little walk in the afternoon, and in the middle
of Broad Street they saw a cross buried in the ground, very
near the place where the Martyrs were buried. Then they
went into the gardens of Trinity College (built in 1554) to see
the " Lime Walk," a pretty little avenue of lime-trees. The
great iron "gates" at the end of the garden are not real
gates, but all done in one piece, and they couldn't open them,
even if you knocked all day. Isa thought them a miserable
sham.
Then they went into the " Parks " (this word doesn't mean
" parks of grass, with trees and deer," but " parks " of guns ;
that is, great rows of cannons, which stood there when King
Charles the First was in Oxford, and Oliver Cromwell was
fighting against him.
They saw " Mansfield College," a new College just begun
to be built, with such tremendously narrow windows that Isa
was afraid the young gentlemen who come there will not be
able to see to learn their lessons, and will go away from Oxford
just as wise as they came.
They then went to the evening service at New College, and
heard some beautiful singing and organ-playing. Then back
to Ch. Ch., in pouring rain. Isa tried to count the drops ;
but, when she had counted four millions, three hundred and
seventy-eight thousand, two hundred and forty-seven, she got
tired of counting, and left off.
After dinner, Isa got somebody or other (she is not sure
0-n.t, woe
a
u
On. our
COA
"THE MOUSE'S TAIL."
(From " Alice's Adventures Underground")
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 331
who it was) to finish this story for her. Then she went to
bed, and dreamed she was fixed in the middle of Oxford, with
her feet fast to the ground, and her head between the bars of
a cellar window, in a sort of final tableau. Then she dreamed
the curtain came down, and the people all called out
" encore ! " But she cried out, " Oh, not again ! It would
bee too dreadful to have my visit all over again ! " But, on
second thoughts, she smiled in her sleep, and said, " Well, do
you know, after all I think I wouldn't mind so very muchii I
did have it all over again ! "
LEWIS CARROLL.
The Legend of "Scotland" was written by
Lewis Carroll for the daughters of Archbishop
Longley, while he was, as Bishop of Durham,
living at Auckland Castle, and between the
years 1856-1860. The legend was suggested
by some markings upon the walls of a cellar in
a part of the Castle which, from its remoteness
and chilliness, was, and perhaps still is, called
" Scotland."
THE LEGEND OF " SCOTLAND."
BEING a true and terrible report touching the rooms of
Auckland Castell, called Scotland, and of the things there
endured by Matthew Dixon, Chaffer, and of a certain Ladye,
called Gaunless of some, there apparent, and how that none
durst in these days sleep therein, (belike through fear,) all
which things fell out in ye days of Bishop Bee, of chearfull
memorie, and were writ down by mee in the Yeere One
332 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Five, in the Month
February, on a certayn Tuesday and other days.
EDGAR CUTHWELLIS.
Now the said Matthew Dixon, having fetched wares unto
that place, my Loords commended the same, and bade that
hee should be entertained for that night, (which in sooth hee
was, supping with a grete Appetite,) and sleep in a certayn
roome of that apartment now called Scotland — From whence
at Midnight hee rushed forth with so grete a Screem, as
awaked all men, and hastily running into those Passages, and
meeting him so screeming, hee presentlie faynted away.
Whereon they hadde hym into my Loorde's parlour, and
with much ado set hym on a Chaire, wherefrom hee three
several times slipt even to the grounde, to the grete admiration
of all men.
But being stayed with divers Strong Liquors, (and, chiefest,
wyth Gin,) hee after a whyle gave foorth in a lamentable tone
these following particulars, all which were presentlie sworn to
by nine painful and stout farmers, who lived hard by, which
witness I will heare orderlie set downe.
Witness of Matthew Dixon, Chaffer, being in my right
minde, and more than Fortie Yeeres of Age, though sore
affrighted by reason of Sightes and Sounds in This Castell
endured by mee, as touching the Vision of Scotland, and the
Ghosts, all two of them, therein contayned, and of A certayn
straunge Ladye, and of the lamentable thyngs by her uttered,
with other sad tunes and songs, by her and by other Ghosts
devised, and of the coldness and shakyng of my Bones,
(through soe grete feer,) and of other things very pleasant to
knowe, cheefly of a Picture hereafter suddenlie to bee taken,
and of what shall befall thereon, (as trulie foreshowne by
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 333
Ghosts,) and of Darkness, with other.things more terrible than
Woordes, and of that which Men call Chimera.
Matthew Dixon, Chaffer, deposeth : " that hee, having
supped well over Night on a Green Goose, a Pasty, and other
Condiments of the Bishop's grete bountie provided, (looking,
as hee spake, at my Loorde, and essaying toe pull offe hys
hatte untoe hym, but missed soe doing, for that hee hadde yt
not on hys hedde,) soe went untoe hys bedde, where of a long
tyme hee was exercysed with sharp and horrible Dreems. .
That hee saw yn hys Dreem a yong Ladye, habited, (not as yt
seemed) yn a Gaun, but yn a certayn sorte of Wrapper, per-
chance a Wrap- Rascal." (Hereon a Mayde of the House
affirmed that noe Ladye woold weare such a thing, and hee
answered, " I stand corrected," and indeed rose from hys
chaire, yet fayled to stand.)
Witness continued : " that ye sayde Ladye waved toe and
froe a Grete Torche, whereat a thin Voyce shreeked ' Gaun-
less ! Gaunless ! ' and Shee standyng yn the midst of the floor,
a grete Chaunge befell her, her Countenance waxing ever
more and more Aged, and her Hayr grayer, shee all that tyme
saying yn a most sad Voyce, ' Gaunless, now, as Ladyes bee :
yet yn yeeres toe come they shall not lacke for Gauns.' At
whych h'jr Wrapper seemed slowlie toe melte, chaunging into
a gaun of sylk, which puckered up and down, yea, and
flounced itself out not a lyttle : " (at thys mye Loorde, waxing
impatient, smote hym roundlie onne the hedde, bydding hym
finish hys tale anon.)
Witness continued : " that the sayd Gaun thenne chaunged
ytself into divers fashyons whych shall hereafter bee, loopyng
ytself uppe yn thys place and yn that, soe gyving toe View
ane pettycote of a most fiery hue, even Crimson toe looke
upon, at whych dismal and blode-thirstie sight hee both
groned and wepte. That at the laste the shyrt swelled unto a
Vastness beyond Man's power toe tell ayded, (as hee judged,)
334 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
bye Hoops, Cartwheels, Balloons, and the lyke, bearing yt
uppe within. That yt fylled alle that Chamber, crushing hym
flat untoe hys bedde, tylle such tyme as she appeered toe
depart, fryzzling hys Hayre with her Torch e as she went.
"That hee, awakyng from such Dreems, herd thereon a
Rush, and saw a Light." (Hereon a Mayde interrupted hym,
crying out that there was yndeed a Rush-Light burning yn that
same room, and woulde have sayde more, but that my Loorde
checkt her, and sharplie bade her stow that, meening thereby,
that she shoulde holde her peece.)
Witness continued : " that being muche affrited thereat,
whereby hys Bones were, (as hee sayde,) all of a dramble, hee
essayed to leep from hys bedde, and soe quit. Yet tarried hee
some whyle, not, as might bee thought from being stout of
Harte, but rather of Bodye ; whych tyme she chaunted
snatches of old lays, as Maister Wil Shakespeare hath yt."
Hereon my Loorde questioned what lays, byddyng hym syng
the same, and saying hee knew but of two lays : " 'Twas yn
Trafalgar's bay wee saw the Frenchmen lay," and " There wee
lay all that day yn the Bay of Biscay — O," whych hee forth-
wyth hummed aloud, yet out of tune, at whych some smyled.
Witness continued : " that hee perchaunce coulde chaunt the
sayde lays wyth Music, but unaccompanied hee durst not."
On thys they hadde hym to the Schoolroom, where was a
Musical Instrument, called a Paean-o- Forty, (meening that yt
hadde forty Notes, and was a Paean or Triumph of Art,)
whereon two yong Ladyes, Nieces of my Loorde, that abode
there, (lerning, as they deemed, Lessons ; but, I wot, idlynge
not a lyttle,) did wyth much thumpyng playe certyn Music
wyth hys synging, as best they mighte, seeing that the Tunes
were such as noe Man had herde before.
" Lorenzo dwelt at Heighington,
(Hys cote was made of Dimity,)
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 335
Least-ways yf not exactly there,
Yet yn yt's close proximity.
Hee called on mee — hee stayed to tee —
Yet not a word hee ut-tered,
Untyl I sayd, ' D'ye lyke your bread
Dry ?' and hee answered ' But-tered.' "
(Chorus whereyn all present joyned with fervor).
" Noodle dumb
Has a noodle-head,
I hate such noodles, /do."
Witness continued : " that shee then appeered unto hym
habited yn the same loose Wrapper, whereyn hee first saw her
yn hys Dreem, and yn a stayd and piercing tone gave forth her
History as followeth."
THE LADYE'S HISTORY.
" ON a dewie autum evening, mighte have been seen, pacing
yn the grounds harde by Aucklande Castell, a yong Ladye of
a stiff and perky manner, yet not ill to look on, nay, one mighte
saye, faire to a degree, save that haply that hadde been un-
true.
" That yong Ladye, O miserable Man, was I " (whereon I
demanded on what score shee held mee miserable, and shee
replied, yt mattered not). " I plumed myself yn those tymes
on my exceeding not soe much beauty as loftinesse of Figure,
and gretely desired that some Painter might paint my picture :
but they ever were too high, not yn skyll I trow, byt yn
charges." (At thys I most humbly enquired at what charge
the then Painters wrought, but shee loftily affirmed that money-
matters were vulgar and that shee knew not, no, nor cared.)
" Now yt chaunced that a certyn Artist, hight Lorenzo, came
toe that Quarter, having wyth hym a merveillous machine
called by men a Chimera (that ys, a fabulous and wholly
336 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
incredible thing ;) where wyth hee took manie pictures, each
yn a single stroke of Tyme, whiles that a Man might name
'John, the'son of Robin ' (I asked her, what might a stroke
of Tyme bee, but shee, frowning, answered not).
" He yt was that undertook my Picture : yn which I mainly
required one thyng, that yt shoulde bee at full-length, for yn
none other way mighte my Loftiness bee trulie set forth.
Nevertheless, though hee took manie Pictures, yet all fayled
yn thys : for some, beginning at the Hedde, reeched not toe
the Feet ; others, takyng yn the Feet, yet left out the Hedde ;
whereof the former were a grief unto myself, and the latter a
Laughing-Stocke unto others.
" At these thyngs I justly fumed, having at the first been
frendly unto hym (though yn sooth hee was dull), and oft
smote hym gretely on the Eares, rending from hys Hedde
certyn Locks, whereat crying out hee was wont toe saye that I
made hys lyfe a burden untoe hym, whych thyng I not so much
doubted as highlie rejoyced yn.
"At the last hee counselled thys, that a Picture shoulde bee
made, showing so much skyrt as mighte reesonably bee gotte
yn, and a Notice set below toe thys effect : ' Item, two yards
and a Half Ditto, and then the Feet.' But thys no Whit con-
tented mee, and thereon I shut hym ynto the Cellar, where hee
remaned three Weeks, growing dayly thinner and thinner, till
at the last hee rioted up and downe like a Feather.
" Now yt fell at thys tyme, as I questioned hym on a certyn
Day, yf hee woulde nowe take mee at full-length, and hee
replying untoe mee, yn a little moning Voyce, lyke a Gnat, one
chaunced to open the Door : whereat the Draft bore hym
uppe ynto a Cracke of the Cieling, and I remaned awaytyng
hym, holding uppe my Torche, until such tyme as I also faded
ynto a Ghost, yet stickyng untoe the Wall."
Then did my Loorde and the Companie haste down ynto
the Cellar, for to see thys straunge sight, to whych place when
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 337
they came, my Loorde bravely drew hys sword, loudly crying
" Death ! " (though to whom or what he explained not) ; then
some went yn, but the more part hung back, urging on those
yn front, not soe largely bye example, as Words of cheer : yet
at last all entered, my Loorde last.
Then they removed from the wall the Casks and other stuff,
and founde the sayd Ghost, dredful toe relate, yet extant on
the Wall, at which horrid sight such scree ms were raysed as yn
these days are seldom or never herde : some faynted, others
bye large drafts of Beer saved themselves from that Extremity,
yet were they scarcely alive for Feer.
Then dyd the Ladye speak unto them yn suchwise :—
" Here I bee, and here I byde,
Till such tyme as yt betyde
That a Ladye of thys place,
Lyke to mee yn name and face,
(Though my name bee never known,
My initials shall bee shown,)
Shall be fotograffed aright —
Hedde and Feet bee both yn sight —
Then my face shall disappeer,
Nor agayn affrite you heer."
Then sayd Matthew Dixon unto her, "Wherefore boldest
thou uppe that Torche ? " to whych shee answered, " Candles
Gyve Light " : but none understood her.
After thys a thyn Voyce sang from overhedde :—
" Yn the Auckland Castell cellar,
Long, long ago,
I was shut — a brisk yong feller —
Woe, woe, ah woe !
To take her at full-lengthe
I never hadde the strengthe
Tempore (and soe I tell her,)
Praeterito !
23
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 339
(Yn thys Chorus they durst none joyn, seeing that Latyn
was untoe them a Tongue unknown.)
"She was hard — oh, she was cruel —
Long, long ago,
Starved mee here — not even gruel —
No, believe mee, no ! —
Frae Scotland could I flee,
I'd gie my last bawbee, —
Arrah, bhoys, fair play's a jhewel,
Lave me, darlints, goe ! "
Then my Loorde, putting bye hys Sworde, (whych was layd
up thereafter, yn memory of soe grete Bravery,) bade hys
Butler fetch hym presentlie a Vessel of Beer, whych when yt
was broughte at hys nod, (nor, as hee merrily sayd, hys " nod,
and Bee, and wreathed symle,") hee drank hugelie thereof:
" for why ? " quoth hee, " surely a Bee ys no longer a Bee,
when yt ys Dry."
The serious aspect of Lewis Carroll's character
has not received sufficient attention at the hands
of most of those who have written about him
since his death. Even for the children, perhaps
especially for the children, he wrote and spoke
much on the deeper side of life. I have been
privileged to read many letters of his which
partook of this character, but have found in them
nothing more touching and beautiful than the
little sermon which follows, and which he
delivered to a congregation of children. The
report, an excellent one to all appearance, is
340 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
extracted from the November, 1897, number of
the Parish Magazine of the Church of St. Mary
Magdalen, St. Leonard's-on-Sea.
A little girl named Margaret went to a Harvest Festival
Service one Sunday. The Church was beautiful with flowers
and fruit and sweet music of thanksgiving. And the preacher
spoke of God's great love and goodness in giving us everything
that we possess, and that we must try to show our thankfulness
to Him by offering of our best to Him in. return. Some of us
— and especially the children — perhaps thought they had
nothing to give, or worthy to offer, to God, but the preacher
said that God would accept even a little deed of love, or a
simple act of kindness to one of His creatures, and that
children, especially, could do these if they would try.
When the service was over and the people had gone away,
little Margaret lingered in the churchyard thinking about what
the preacher had said, and a lark started up from her feet and
sang soaring into the blue sky with such gladness that Margaret
said to herself, " Ah, he is trying to thank God as well as he
can — how much I wish there were something that such a little
girl as I could do too ! "
She sat down on the grass in the sunshine to think, and
presently she noticed a rose-bush growing near, and that the
roses were hanging their heads, quite withered in the sun for
want of water. So she ran to the brook, and making a cup of
her hands dipped them into the water and ran and threw the
water on the roses. She did so again and again, and the roses
revived.
Little Margaret then walked on till she passed a cottage,
where a baby was sitting on the doorstep and crying sadly
because his toy was broken. It was a paper windmill, and the
sails had become all crumpled up and would not go round any
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 341
more. Margaret took the toy from the baby and straightened
out the sails, and a wind came by and turned them round
merrily, so that the baby stretched out his hands and laughed
for joy.
Then little Margaret thought she must go home, but as she
passed the brook again she saw a little brown bird struggling
in the water. He had fallen in and was being drowned, and
growing weaker in his struggles. So Margaret caught hold of
a bough, and stretching as far as she could, with her other hand
she lifted the little bird out of the water and laid him safely on
the bank.
And now she began to feel very tired, and at last reached
her home. She climbed up to her room, and lay down on her
little bed, very white and still, and closed her eyes. And then
she said to herself, " i think this must be dying — yes, I am
dying — and soon I shall be dead." And her friends came in
and said, " Ah, she is dying, poor little Margaret ! "
But a rose that was growing outside by the garden path
heard it, and began to grow, and climbed and grew till it
reached the window, and crept in through the window into
the room, and crept all round the walls and little bed till
there were wreaths of lovely roses filling the room with their
sweetness. And the roses bent over Margaret's little pale
face till her cheeks began to take a faint colour too. And
just then a soft wind came blowing in at the window and
fanned her face, and a little brown bird outside began to sing
so prettily, that Margaret smiled, and opened her eyes and
. . . well, she was still sitting on the grass outside the Church,
in the soft sunshine — for it was a dream !
I read this story in a book, and put it by to tell you, dear
children, this afternoon ; but now I will tell you three stories
of love and kindness. For —
" He prayeth well, who loveth well
Both man and bird and beast. "
342 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Some forty years ago there was a great singer, named Jenny
Lind, and her voice and her singing were so beautiful that
people who heard her felt as if they were listening to an
angel. And they would go in crowds, and pay any money, to
hear her sing.
On one occasion when she was singing at Manchester, she
was caught by the rain during her morning walk and she took
shelter in a poor little cottage, where a poor old woman lived
alone. Jenny Lind talked kindly to her at once, and the
poor old woman (of course not knowing who she was) told
her about the wonderful Singer, who, " she was told was
going to sing that afternoon," and how everybody was " mad "
to hear her, and how very very much she wished that she
could hear her too. But that of course was impossible " for
a poor old body like me ! " Then Jenny Lind told the old
woman that she was the Singer, and said she, "and I will
sing to you." So then and there, in that poor little cottage,
the great Singer sang three or four of her sweetest songs, and
gave the poor old woman the desire of her heart.
Again — a man walking along a country lane heard such a
fluttering and chirping in the hedge that he stopped to look
what it could be ; and he saw that a young bird had fallen
out of its nest, and its wings having caught on a thorn, it was
hanging helpless. The mother bird was close to it fluttering
and crying with all her might, but powerless to release her
little one. She did not move as the man gently lifted the
young bird and replaced it in the nest, but then instantly
hopped on to the nest herself, and spread her wings over her
little ones without a trace of fear, but in perfect confidence in
the person who had come to her aid.
And now one more true tale, and this of a child's kindness
to one of God's creatures. You will, I think, all have heard
of Florence Nightingale. Hers is a name to make all English
hearts beat warm as long as they exist; — one of England's
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 343
noblest women, for she was the first who thought of going to
nurse our poor wounded soldiers on the battle-field.
From her childhood Florence Nightingale was always
wanting to help and heal those in pain, and her first patient
was a dog ! She was but a child when one day she met a
shepherd whom she knew, and he was in great distress because
his faithful old dog, that had served him for so many years,
was near his end. Some cruel boys — or I would rather say,
thoughtless boys — had stoned the poor old dog, and he was
so much hurt that he had only just been able to drag himself
home to die ! He was well-nigh worn out, but " Now he's
done for, and I must do away with him," said the shepherd,
as he led the child to the cottage to show her the dog, and
then he went sadly away to get the means of putting him out
of his misery.
Florence Nightingale sat down beside the poor suffering
creature, her kind heart full of pity. Presently she saw some
one pass the door who she knew understood all about animals,
and calling him in, she showed him the dog. After examining
him, her friend said, "Well, he's very bad, but there are no
bones broken ; all you can do is to wring out some cloths in
hot water and lay them on the wounds, and keep on doing
that for a long time." And the child set to work at once,
lighted a fire, boiled the water, and persevered in her work
for many hours, and to her joy the old dog began to get
better and better. When the shepherd came home, Florence
Nightingale said to him, " Call him, oh ! do call him ; " and
so he called the old dog, who got up and greeted his
master.
'*' He prayeth best, who loveth best
All things both great and small ;
For the dear God who loveth us,
He made and loveth all."
And now, dear children, I want you to promise me that
344 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
you will each one try, every day, to do some loving act of
kindness for others. Perhaps you have never really tried
before ; will you begin to-day — the beginning of a new week ?
Last week is gone for ever ; this week will be quite different.
As you rub out the sums on your slate that have not come
right, and begin all over again, so leave behind the disobedi-
ence, or selfishness, or ill-temper of last week, and begin quite
fresh to try your very best, every day, to do what you can
towards fulfilling God's law of love.
Among the books which death prevented Lewis
Carroll from completing, the one on which his
heart was most set was a collection of essays on
religious difficulties, for he felt that, as a clergy-
man, to associate his name with such a work
would be more fitting than that he should only
be known as a writer of humorous and scientific
books. However, it was not to be so ; he only-
lived long enough to finish one of the several
papers of which the volume was to consist ; the
subject — Eternal Punishment — was one on which
he felt very deeply, and his method of treating it
is entirely his own. In a few pages he puts the
whole matter before one, clearly, concisely and
logically, pointing out the fallacies which underlie
some of the common ways of evading the diffi-
culty, but leaving the necessary conclusion for
the reader to arrive at by himself.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 345
" ETERNAL PUNISHMENT."
The most common form of the difficulty, felt in regard to
this doctrine, may be thus expressed : —
" I believe that God is perfectly good. Yet I seem com-
pelled to believe that He will inflict Eternal Punishment on
certain human beings, in circumstances which would make it,
according to the voice of my conscience, unjust, and therefore
wrong."
This difficulty, when stated in logical form, will be found
to arise from the existence of three incompatible Propositions,
each of which has, apparently, a strong claim for our assent.
They are as follows :—
I. God is perfectly good.
II. To inflict Eternal Punishment on certain human beings,
and in certain circumstances, would be wrong.
III. God is capable of acting thus.
One mode of escape from this difficulty is, no doubt, to
let the whole subject alone. But to many such a position is
a cause of distress ; they feel that one of these three Propo-
sitions must be false ; and yet to regard any one of them as
false plunges them into difficulties and bewilderment.
The first thing to be done is to settle, as clearly as possible,
what we mean by each of these Propositions, and then to
settle, if possible, which two of the three rest, in our minds,
on the deepest and firmest foundations, and thus to discover
which one, of the three, must perforce be abandoned.
First, then, let us settle, as clearly as possible, what we
mean by each of these Propositions.
I.
God is perfectly good.
As to the meaning of this word "good," I assume that the
Reader accepts, as an Axiom antecedent to any of these
346 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
three Propositions, the Proposition that the ideas of Right
and Wrong rest on eternal and self-existent principles, and
not on the arbitrary will of any being whatever. I assume
that he accepts the Proposition that God wills a thing because
it is right) and not that a thing is right because God wills it.
Any Reader, of whom these assumptions are not true, can
feel no difficulty in abandoning Proposition II., and saying,
" If God inflicts it, it will be right." He, therefore, is not one
of those for whom I am now writing.
I assume, then, that this Proposition means that God always
acts in accordance with the eternal principle of Right, and
that He is, therefore, perfectly good.
II.
To inflict " Eternal Punishment" on certain human beings and
in certain circumstances, would be wrong.
The word " Punishment " I assume to mean, here, " suffer-
ing inflicted on a human being who has sinned, and because
he has sinned." I use the word " suffering," rather than
" pain," because the latter word is so often understood as
implying physical pain only, whereas mental pain might also
serve as punishment.
Hence we may at once simplify this inquiry by excluding
from our consideration, the case of suffering inflicted where
the sin of the creature is not a necessary cause. Taking
" sin " to mean (as already defined) a " conscious and volun-
tary " act, so that, if the act be involuntary r, it ceases to be sin,
we may set aside the Calvinfstic theory, which contemplates
the infliction of suffering on creatures unable to abstain from
sin, and whose sins are therefore involuntary. This theory
will be considered elsewhere.
The word " Eternal" I assume to mean "without end."
As to the human beings who are here contemplated as the
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 347
subjects of Eternal Punishment, there are three conceivable
cases, viz. : —
(A) The case of one who has ceased to possess Free- Will,
and who therefore has no further power either to sin or to
repent. In such a case, Eternal Punishment would be suffer-
ing inflicted through infinite time, and therefore itself infinite
in amount as punishment for sins committed during a finite
time.
(B) The case of one who retains Free-Will, and who has
ceased to sin, has repented of all past sins, and is choosing
good as good. In this case also Eternal Punishment would be
infinite suffering, inflicted as punishment for sins committed
during a finite time.
(C) The case of one who does not come under either of
these descriptions, that is, one who retains Free-Will and
continues for ever to choose evil. In such a case Eternal
Punishment would be infinite suffering, inflicted as punishment
for infinite sin.
I assume that the reader would not feel any difficulty in
recognising the justice of inflicting continuous suffering as
punishment for continuous sin.
Hence we may set aside case (C) altogether.
Also we may combine cases (A) and (B) into one, and
interpret Proposition II. as asserting that it would be wrong
to inflict infinite suffering, on human beings who have ceased
to sin, as punishment for sins committed during a finite time.
Proposition III. does not seem to need any explanation.
It will be well before going further to re-state the three
incompatible Propositions, in order to give to Proposition II.
the form it has now assumed.
I. God is perfectly good.
II. To inflict infinite suffering on human beings who have
ceased to sin, as punishment for sins committed during a finite
time, would be wrong.
348 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
III. God is capable of acting thus.
We know with absolute certainty that one at least of these
three Propositions is untrue. Hence, however overwhelming
may be the weight of evidence with which each seems to
claim our assent, we know that one at least may reasonably be
abandoned.
Let us now take them, one by one, and consider, for each in
turn, what are the grounds on which it claims our assent, and
what would be the logical consequences of abandoning it. It
may be that the Reader will then be able to see for himself
which two of the three have the strongest claims on his assent,
and which he must, therefore, abandon.
First, then, let us consider the Proposition.
I. " God is perfectly good."
The grounds on which this claims our assent, seem to be,
first, certain intuitions (for which, of course, no proofs can be
offered), such as " I believe that I have Free-Will, and am
capable of choosing right or wrong ; that I am responsible for
my conduct; that I am not the outcome of blind material
forces, but the creature of a being who has given me Free-
Will and the sense of right and wrong, and to whom I am
responsible, and who is therefore perfectly good. And this
being I call ' God.' "
And these intuitions are confirmed for us in a thousand
ways by all the facts of revelation, by the facts of our own
spiritual history, by the answers we have had to our prayers,
by the irresistible conviction that this being whom we call
" God " loves us, with a love so wonderful, so beautiful, so
immeasurable, so wholly undeserved, so unaccountable on any
ground save His own perfect goodness, that we can but abase
ourselves to the dust before Him, and dimly hope that we may
be able some day to love Him with a love more like His great
love for us.
The abandonment of this Proposition would mean prac-
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 349
tically, for most of us, the abandonment of the belief in a
God, and the acceptance of Atheism.
Secondly, let us consider the Proposition.
II. To inflict infinite suffering, on human beings who have
ceased to sin, as punishment for sins committed during a finite
time, would be wrong.
Here it will greatly simplify our inquiry to begin by
considering what are the various purposes for which punish-
ment may be supposed to be, first, enacted, and secondly,
inflicted ; and what are the principles which, in view of those
purposes, would make us regard its enactment and infliction
as right or wrong.
Punishment, when enacted or inflicted, by human beings
upon each other is necessarily limited in its purposes. We
cannot read the minds of others, and therefore can never
know whether any human being is or is not really guilty in
anything he does. Consequently, human punishment can
never reach beyond the outward act : we dare not attempt to
punish thoughts, however sinful, that have not resulted in
action. And, even here, our principal purpose must necessarily
be to save Society from the injury that such acts would cause
to it. Hence there is little in the principles affecting punish-
ment, when inflicted by Man, that we can safely appeal to in
considering punishment as inflicted by God. There is, how-
ever, one principle which clearly applies equally to both : we
recognise that some proportion should be observed, between
the amount of crime and the amount of punishment inflicted :
for instance, we should have no hesitation in condemning as
unjust the conduct of a judge who, in sentencing two criminals,
had awarded the greater punishment to the one whose crime
was clearly the lesser of the two.
But, in the sight of God, our guilt consists in the sinful
choice, and we rightly hold that two men, who had resolved, in
similar circumstances, on committing the same crime, would
350 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
be equally guilty in His sight, even though only one had
actually committed the crime, while the other had been
accidentally prevented from carrying out his intention.
Hence we may assume that God's purpose, in the enact-
ment of punishment, is the prevention of the sinful choice,
with all the evils consequent upon it. When once the punish-
ment has been enacted, it must necessarily, unless some change
takes place in the circumstances contemplated in the enact-
ment, be inflicted. We may easily imagine a man, who has
enacted some punishment, finding good reasons for not
inflicting it ; for instance, he might find that he had made a
mistake in enacting it, or that he had failed to take account of
some unforeseen circumstance. We might even imagine a
man to have threatened a punishment without any intention
of ever inflicting it. But none of these suppositions can be
made as to punishment enacted by God. We cannot believe
Him to be ignorant of any of the circumstances, or capable of
announcing that He will do what He does not really intend
to do.
We must trust His perfect knowledge of the thoughts of
men, for judging who is guilty and who is not, and the only
principle of right and wrong that seems reasonably applicable,
is the sense that some proportion should be observed between
the amount of sin and the amount of the punishment awarded
to it.
And here comes in the one consideration which, as I
believe, causes all the difficulty and distress felt on this
subject. We feel intuitively that sins committed by a human
being during a finite period must necessarily be finite in
amount ; while punishment continued during an infinite period
must necessarily be infinite in amount. And we feel that
such a proportion is unjust.
Once suppose the punishment to \>z finite for finite sin, so
that if at any period of time the sinful choice ceased to exist,
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 351
the punishment would not be infinite, and I believe this diffi-
culty would no longer be felt, and that we should be ready
to recognise punishment as deserved, and therefore as justly
inflicted ; and also to recognise the many good purposes, such
as the reformation of the sinner, or the warning given to others,
which the punishment might serve.
There is another intuition, felt, I believe, by most of us, of
which no account has yet been taken. It is that there is some
eternal necessity, wholly beyond our comprehension, that sin
must result in suffering. This principle is, I believe, en-
shrouded in, and may to some extent make more credible to
us, the unfathomable mystery of the Atonement. And this
principle must be allowed for, I think, in considering the
present subject.
There is also a difficulty, that will probably occur to some
readers, which ought to be noticed here. It is the doubt
whether the man who checks and puts out of his mind a
sinful wish merely from fear of punishment, can really be less
guilty in the sight of God, "Granted," it may be urged,
" that Divine punishment is incurred by the evil wish, whether
or no it result in evil act, so that its enactment may serve to
prevent that wish, yet surely what God requires is that we
should love good as good, and hate evil as evil. If a man
checks the evil wish merely from fear of punishment, and not
because it is an evil wish, does he thereby cease to sin?"
Here it must be admitted, I think, that the enactment of
punishment for evil wishes does not, of itself, produce the love
of good as good, and the hatred of evil as evil. Yet surely it
may help in that direction ? God uses, I believe, such motives
as best suit the present need ; at one time, perhaps, fear may
be the only one that will influence the sinner ; later on, when,
through fear, some habit of self-restraint has been formed, the
evil wish may be checked by the consideration that indulgence
of it might lead to acts which the man is beginning dimly to
352 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
recognise as evil ; later still, when this recognition has grown
clearer, a higher motive (such as human love) may be appealed
to ; and later still, the love of good as good, and the love of
God as the Being whose essence is goodness.
When all this has been considered, its outcome seems to me
to be the irresistible intuition that infinite punishment for finite
sin would be unjust, and therefore wrong. We feel that even
weak and erring Man would shrink from such an act. And we
cannot conceive of God as acting on a lower standard of right
and wrong. In the words of Dean Church, " Can we be so
compassionate and so just, and cannot we trust Him to be so?"
To set aside this intuition, and to accept, as a just and
righteous act, the infliction on human beings of infinite punish-
ment for finite sin, is virtually the abandonment of Conscience
as a guide in questions of Right and Wrong, and the embarking,
without compass or rudder, on a boundless ocean of perplexity.
In taking this position, we have to face such questions as
these : " Why do I accept whatever God does as being right,
though my conscience declares it to be wrong ? Is it that He
is my Maker? What ground have I for holding that the
power of creating is a guarantee for goodness ? Or is it that
He loves me ? But I know already that wicked beings can
love. No. The only reasonable ground for accepting what
He does as being right seems to be the assurance that He is
perfectly good. And how can I be assured of this, if I put
aside as useless the only guide that I profess for distinguishing
between right and wrong, the voice of Conscience ? "
Such are the difficulties that meet us, if we propose to take
the second possible course, and to reject Proposition II.
The third possible course is to accept Propositions I. and II.,
and to reject III. We should thus take the following position.
" I believe that God will not act thus. Yet I also believe that,
whatever He has declared He will do, He will do. Hence I
believe that He has not declared that He will act thus."
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 353
The difficulties, entailed by choosing this third course, may
be well exhibited in another set of incompatible Propositions,
as follows : —
1. God has not declared that He will act thus.
2. All that the Bible tells us, as to the relations between God
and man, are true.
3. The Bible tells us that God has declared that He will act
thus.
As these three Propositions cannot possibly be all of them
true, the acceptance of (i) necessarily entails the rejection of
either (2) or (3).
If we reject (2), we are at once involved in all the perplexities
that surround the question of Biblical Inspiration. The
theory of Plenary Inspiration — which asserts that every state-
ment in the Bible is absolute and infallibly true — has been
largely modified in these days, and most Christians are now,
I think, content to admit the existence of a human element in
the Bible, and the possibility of human error in such of its
statements as do not involve the relations between God and
Man. But, as to those statements, there appears to be a
general belief that the Bible has been providentially protected
from error : in fact, on any other theory, it would be hard to
say what value there would be in the Bible or for what purpose
it could have been written.
The more likely course would seem to be to reject (3). Let
us consider what difficulties this would entail.
We are now supposed to have taken up the following posi-
tion : " I do not bejieve that the Bible tells us that God has
declared He will inflict Eternal Punishment on human beings,
who are either incapable of sinning, or who, being capable of
sinning, have ceased to sin."
It is well to remind the Reader that, in taking up this
position, he entirely escapes from the original difficulty on
account of which we entered on this discussion. And how
24
354 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
widely different this is from what we considered as \hefirst of
the courses possible to us ! That would have involved us in
the abandonment of Christianity itself; this entails many
difficulties, no doubt : but they all belong to the infinitely less
important field of Biblical Criticism.
The Reader who is unable, whether from want of time or
from want of the necessary learning, to investigate this question
for himself, must perforce accept the judgment of others : and
all he needs here to be told is that the interpretation of the
passages, which are believed to teach the doctrine of " Eternal
Punishment," depends largely, if not entirely, on the meaning
given to one single word (cuwy). This is rendered, in
our English Bibles, by the word " eternal " or " everlasting " :
but there are many critics who believe that it does not neces-
sarily mean "endless." If this be so, then the punishment,
which we are considering, is finite punishment for finite sin,
and the original difficulty no longer exists.
In conclusion, I will put together in one view the various
modes of escape, from the original difficulty, which may be
adopted without violating the inexorable laws of logical reason-
ing. They are as follows : —
(1) "I believe that the infliction, on human beings, of endless
punishment, for sins committed during a finite time, would be
unjust, and therefore wrong. Yet I cannot resist the evidence
that God has declared His intention of acting thus. Conse-
quently I hold Him to be capable of sinning."
This would practically mean the abandonment of Christianity.
(2) "I believe that God is perfectly £Ood, and therefore
that such infliction of punishment would be right, though my
conscience declares it to be wrong."
This would practically mean the abandonment of conscience
as a guide to distinguish right from wrong, and would leave
the phrase " I believe that God is perfectly good " without any
intelligible meaning.
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 355
(3) " I believe that God is perfectly good. Also I believe
that such infliction of punishment would be wrong. Conse-
quently I believe that God is not capable of acting thus. I
find that the Bible tells us that He is capable of acting thus.
Consequently I believe that what the Bible tells us of the
relations between God and Man cannot be relied on as true."
This would practically mean the abandonment of the Bible
as a trustworthy book.
(4) " I believe that God is perfectly good. Also I believe
that such infliction of punishment would be wrong. Conse-
quently I believe that God is not capable of acting thus. I
find that the Bible, in the English Version, seems to tell us
that He is capable of acting thus. Yet I believe that it is a
book inspired by God, and protected by Him from error in
what it tells us of the relations between God and Man, and
therefore that what it says, according to the real meaning of
the words, may be relied on as true. Consequently I hold
that the word, rendered in English as ' eternal ' or ' ever-
lasting,' has been mistranslated, and that the Bible does not
really assert more than that God will inflict suffering, of
unknown duration but not necessarily eternal, punishment for
sin."
Any one of these four views may be held, without violating
the laws of logical reasoning.
Here ends my present task; since my object has been,
throughout, not to indicate one course rather than another,
but to help the Reader to see clearly what the possible courses
are, and what he is virtually accepting, or denying, in choosing
any one of them.
I now come to the reminiscences to which I
alluded at the beginning of this Chapter, and
first I will give a few extracts out of letters from
356 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
Mr. York Powell, Regius Professor of Modern
History at Oxford :—
" Mr. Dodgson was an excellent after-dinner speaker, though
he did not like to have to speak. He made a wonderfully
humorous speech at the Censor's dinner, but I can only
recall the very delightful impression. It was a souffle of a
speech, light, pleasant, digestible, and nourishing also.
-.W"I can't remember anything of his stories. He did not
often make stories. He told old stories very well with a
(Charles) Lamb-like stutter.
" He made me laugh once till I nearly cried in Hall over a
story that was true, of a child, too small to talk much, being
put to bed and calling to its nurse, * Nursey, my feet, my
feet ! ' So nurse took it out of its cot, and brought it into
the nursery, and got some hot water and vinegar and bathed
its legs and feet, and got it some warm milk and gave it to
drink, and put it to bed again. But again the child cried out,
* Nursey, my feet, my feet ! I feel so untumfy.' So she had
it out again, and couldn't find anything amiss with its feet and
legs. However, she thought it wouldn't do it any harm to
bathe them again, so she put a little more vinegar in the water
and bathed them, and then rubbed and dried them very care-
fully, and put the child, who was now very sleepy, back
again. But again came the cry, ' Nursey, my feet, my feet !
I'm so untumfy.' So she took a light and bethought her of
examining the cot, when she found that the elder brothers had
made it an ' apple-pie ' bed, so that its feet could not get down
to the comfortable length.
" The comic idea of the child wondering how hot water and
vinegar were to make its feet comfortable under the circum-
THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK 357
stances roused me in the sense of incongruity that lies at the
root of much laughter. But I have met many people who '
wouldn't admit that this was a funny story. It certainly
amused Dodgson, and I still laugh when I think of it."
With respect to Mr. Dodgson's humanity
towards animals, and detestation of cruelty, I
have received the following recollections from
one of his sisters :—
" Mention has been made of Lewis Carroll's consideration
for animals. I send some instances of this I heard of from
himself. When away from home he saw a kitten in the street
with a fish-hook in its mouth. Knowing what suffering this
would cause, he carrried the kitten to the house of a medical
man for relief. ' Your own cat, I suppose ? ' said the doctor,
but any knowledge of it was disclaimed. Happily the removal
of the hook was no difficult matter. Lewis Carroll held the
kitten, and I think the doctor was able to snip off the barbed
end, so that the hook came easily out. Payment having been
declined, Lewis Carroll took the kitten back to where he had
found it.
" On another occasion, compassionating some horses which
were being worked with bearing-reins on, he spoke to the man
with them, and put the case against bearing-reins so con-
vincingly that they were then and there taken off, and the
man had the satisfaction of seeing his animals work all the
better for being allowed the natural use of their necks.
" With regard to some papers he enclosed he wrote to me :
' It is greatly to be hoped that the suggestions for a painless
death for the animals used as food may do good. I quite
believe that the time will come when, in England at any rate,
such death will be painless.'
358 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
11 To get rid of mice in his rooms a square live trap was
used, and he had a wood and wire compartment made which
fitted on to the trap whose door could then be opened for the
mice to run into the compartment, a sliding door shut them
in, and the compartment could then be taken from the trap
and put under water ; thus all chance of the mice having an
agonised struggle on the surface of the water was removed."
After the death of a pet dog he wrote :—
" I am very sorry to hear of your sad loss. Well, you have
certainly given to one of God's creatures a very happy life
through a good many years — a pleasant thing to remember.
"H. H. D.
" BRIGHTON."
The following letter from Canon Duckworth,
with which I conclude, is very interesting because
of the share which he had in the beginnings of
' 'Alice ":-
" Five-and-thirty years ago, when I was an Oxford tutor, I
received frequent notes from the Rev. C. L. Dodgson, but
I am afraid that these have all been destroyed, and since I
left Oxford in 1866 I have seldom had communication with
him.
" I was very closely associated with him in the production
and publication of ' Alice in Wonderland.' I rowed stroke
and he rowed bow in the famous Long Vacation voyage to
Godstow, when the three Miss Liddells were our passengers,
and the story was actually composed and spoken over my
shoulder for the benefit of Alice Liddell, who was acting as
' cox ' of our gig. I remember turning round and saying,
' Dodgson, is this an extempore romance of yours ? ' And he
360 THE LEWIS CARROLL PICTURE BOOK
replied, 'Yes, I'm inventing as we go along.' I also well
remember how, when we had conducted the three children
back to the Deanery, Alice said, as she bade us good-night,
' Oh, Mr. Dodgson, I wish you would write out Alice's adven-
tures for me.' He said he should try, and he afterwards told
me that he sat up nearly the whole night, committing to a MS.
book his recollections of the drolleries with which he had
enlivened the afternoon. He added illustrations of his own,
and presented the volume, which used often to be seen on the
drawing-room table at the Deanery.
"One day Henry Kingsley, when on a visit to the Dean,
took up the MS., and read it through with the greatest
delight, urging Mrs. Liddell to persuade the author to publish
it. On hearing this, Dodgson wrote and asked me if I would
come and read * Alice's Adventures,' and give him my candid
opinion whether it was worthy of publication or not, as he
himself felt very doubtful, and could not afford to lose money
over it. I assured him that, if only he could induce John
Tenniel to illustrate it, the book would be perfectly certain of
success, and at my instance he sent the MS. to Tenniel, who
soon replied in terms of warm admiration, and said that he
should feel it a pleasure to provide the illustrations for so
delightful a story. Every time that a batch of Tenniel's
drawings arrived, Dodgson sent me word inviting me to dine,
and to feast after dinner on the pictures which the world now
knows so well.
" I figure as the ' duck ' in the ' Adventures,' Lorina Liddell
(now Mrs. Skene) is the ' lory ' or parrot, Edith Liddell (now
no more) is the * eagle.'
" I wish I had preserved some of the interesting notes which
Dodgson had occasion to write to me before and after the
publication of the book which has made him famous ; but in
those days one did not foresee the interest which was destined
to attach to his name."
APPENDIX
THE VULTURE AND THE HUSBANDMAN.1
("THE LIGHT GREEN," NO. i., 1872.)
By LOUISA CAROLINE.
N.B. — A Vulture is a rapacious and obscene bird, which destroys its
prey by plucking it limb from limb with its powerful beak and talons.
A Husbandman is a man in a low position of life, who supports himself
by the use of \hzplough. (Johnson's Dictionary.)
The rain was raining cheerfully,
As if it had been May ;
The Senate-House appeared inside
Unusually gay ;
And this was strange, because it was
A Viva-Voce day.
The men were sitting sulkily,
Their paper work was done ;
They wanted much to go away
To ride or row or run ;
" It's very rude," they said, " to keep
Us here, and spoil our fun."
1 This poem is inserted here by the kind permission of the proprietors of
The Light Green, which has recently been reprinted.
361
362 APPENDIX
The papers they had finished lay
In piles of blue and white,
They answered everything they could,
And wrote with all their might,
But, though they wrote it all by rote,
They did not write it right.
The Vulture and the Husbandman
Beside these piles did stand,
They wept like anything to see
The work they had in hand,
" If this were only finished up,"
Said they, "it would be grand."
" If seven D's or seven C's
We give to all the crowd,
Do you suppose," the Vulture said,
" That we could get them ploughed ? "
" I think so," said the Husbandman.
" But pray don't talk so loud."
" O Undergraduates, come up,"
The Vulture did beseech,
" And let us see if you can learn
As well as we can teach ;
We cannot do with more than two
To have a word with each."
Two Undergraduates came up,
And slowly took a seat,
They knit their brows, and bit their thumbs,
As if they found them sweet,
And this was odd, because you know
Thumbs are not good to eat.
APPENDIX 363
"The time has come," the Vulture said,
" To talk of many things,
Of Accidence and Adjectives,
And names of Jewish kings,
How many notes a sackbut has
And whether shawms have strings."
" Please, Sir," the Undergraduates said,
Turning a little blue,
" We did not know that was the sort
Of thing we had to do "
" We thank you much," the Vulture said,
" Send up another two."
Two more came up, and then two more ;
And more, and more, and more ;
And some looked upward at the roof,
Some down upon the floor,
But none were any wiser than
The pair that went before.
" I weep for you," the Vulture said,
" I deeply sympathise ! "
With sobs and tears he gave them all
D's of the largest size,
While at the Husbandman he winked
One of his streaming eyes.
"I think," observed the Husbandman,
" We're getting on too quick.
Are we not putting down the D's
A little bit too thick ? "
The Vulture said with much disgust,
" Their answers make me sick."
364 APPENDIX
" Now, Undergraduates," he cried,
" Our fun is nearly done ;
Will anybody else come up ? "
But answer came there none ;
And this was scarcely odd, because,
They'd ploughed them every one !
" JABBERWOCKY " RENDERED INTO LATIN
ELEGIACS.
BY THE LATE MR. HASSARD DoDGSON, a Master in the Court
of Common Pleas.
Hora aderat briligi. Nunc et Slythseia Tova
Plurima gyrabant gymbolitare vabo ;
Et Borogovorum mimzebant undique formae,
Momiferique omnes exgrabuere Rathi.
" Cave, Gaberbocchum moneo tibi, nate cavendum
(Unguibus ille rapit. Dentibus ille necat.)
Et fuge Jubbubbum, quo non infestior ales,
Et Bandersnatcham, quae fremit usque, cave."
Ille autem gladium vorpalem cepit, et hostem
Manxonium longa sedulitate petit ;
Turn sub tumtummi requiescens arboris umbra
Stabat tranquillus, multa animo meditans.
Dum requiescebat meditans uffishia, monstrum
Praesens ecce ! oculis cui fera flamma micat,
Ipse Gaberbocchus dumeta per horrida sifflans
Ibat, et horrendum burbuliabat iens !
APPENDIX 365
Ter, quater, atque iterum cito vorpalissimus ensis
Snicsnaccans penitus viscera dissecuit.
Exanimum corpus linquens caput abstulit heros
Quocum galumphat multa, domumque redit.
" Tune Gaberbocchum potuisti, nate, necare ?
Bemiscens puer ! ad brachia nostra veni.
Oh ! frabiusce dies ! iterumque caloque calaque
Laetus eo " ut chortlet chortla superba senex.
Hora aderat briligi. Nunc et Slythaeia Tova
Plurima gyrabant gymbolitare vabo ;
Et Borogovorum mimzebant undique formae,
Momiferique omnes exgrabuere Rathi.
THE JABBERWOCK TRACED TO ITS TRUE
SOURCE.1
( ' ' Macmilla n 's Magazine ', " Feb. , 1872.)
BY THOMAS CHATTERTON.
To the Editor oj MACMILLAN'S MAGAZINE.
SIR, — I was invited by a friend, one evening
last week, to a stance of Spiritualists ; and having
been reading "Through the Looking - Glass "
before I left home, I was much astonished to
find that the first " communication " made to the
party was on the subject of that work. How it
had reached the Spirits, was not clearly made out.
1 Reproduced here by kind permission of the proprietors of
Macmillarts Magazine.
366 APPENDIX
Among many indistinct rappings, only the words
Post-Obit and Dead Letters were distinguishable.
The Spirit announced himself as Hermann von
Schwindel— a name doubtless known to many of
your readers ; and he complained that the cele-
brated Jabberwock was taken from a German
ballad by the well - known author of the Lyre
(he spelt it Lyar ; but this is not surprising in
a German ghost using the English language) and
Sword. And he proceeded, with great fluency,
to tap out the following verses :—
Der Jamrnerwoch
Es brillig war. Die schlichte Toven
Wirrten und wimmelten in Waben ;
Und aller-miimsige Burggoven
Die mohmen Rath' ausgraben.
Bewahre doch vor Jamrnerwoch !
Die Zahne knirschen, Krallen kratzen !
Bewahr' vor Jubjub — Vogel, vor
Frumiosen Banderschnatzchen !
Er griff sein vorpals Schwertchen zu,
Er suchte lang das manchsam' Ding ;
Dann, stehend unten Tumtum Baum,
Er an-zu-denken-fing.
Als stand er tief in Andacht auf,
Des Jammerwochen's Augen-feuer
Durch tulgen Wald mit wiffek kam
Ein burbelnd ungeheuer !
APPENDIX 367
Eins, Zwei ! Eins, Zwei ! Und durch und durch
Sein vorpals Schwert zerschnifer-schniick,
Da blieb es todt ! Er, Kopf in Hand,
Gelaumfig zog zuriick.
Und schlugst Du ja den Jammerwoch ?
Umarme mich, mien Bohm' sches Kind !
O Freuden-Tag ! O Halloo-Schlag !
Er chortelt froh-gesinnt.
Es brillig war, &c.
On my return home I thought the matter over,
and am inclined to agree with the lamented Von
Schwindel, for various reasons, which may be
summed up as follows :—
The Jabberwock is only a Jammerwoch with a
cold in its head, like " the young Babood " for
" the young May moon." And this name, "the
week of woe," is a mythical expression for the
Seven Years' War, and hence for other devasta-
tions of the Fatherland. Humpty Dumpty's in-
terpretation I of course utterly repudiate. He is
a mere rationalising Euhemerist. My theory is
that the ballad is the product of the war against
Napoleon I., and the Jammerwoch, of course, is
" the Corsican Fiend " himself. Now, apply this
to the first stanza, which indicates the patriotic
combination against him of the " Burggoven "
368 APPENDIX
(Burggrafen, the nobility in general) ; the
"Rathe" (whether " Hof " or " Geheim "), the
Bureaucracy, and the " schlichte Toven," the
simple coves of the lower class, neither noble
nor official. And note the touch of irony with
which in the end the aristos leave these in the
lurch, " wirrend und wimmelnd," and only "dig
out " (aus-graben) the bureaucracy for their own
purposes, keeping them " mum " (mokme) and
voiceless.
There is something strikingly Teutonic in the
attitude of the hero under the tree, where, after
seeking for the Jammerwoch, he " took to think-
ing!" "Auf" also must be original, for^uffish
thought " is manifestly intended as a translation
of it! But who is the hero? I think that the
sixth stanza will reveal this to any one possessed
of a historico - critical sense. If it had been a
North German who wrote the ballad, no doubt
the hero would have been Scharnhorst, or
Blticher, or some of the other Prussian heroes.
But the language is rather Austrian (speaking of
the Austrian Empire as it was at that date, with-
out reference to nationalities) ; and no North
German would have celebrated the " Bohm'sches
kind," which is, not as the English copy so
APPENDIX 369
strangely translates it, "beamish," nor even
(which would have been happier) " my bump-
tious boy," but "my young Bohemian." And,
therefore, I think that Von Schwindel's memory
must have failed him. Doubtless he was ac-
quainted with other Lyres and other Swords, as
well as Korner's, and he may have confused them.
We may safely identify the hero with the Arch-
duke Charles; who (it is true) did not slay the
Jammerwoch, but did his best to do it, and was
a genuine hero of the Austrian Empire.
THE FIREPLACE IN LEWIS CARROLL S STUDY AT
CH. CH.
(See Illustration on page 234.)
No doubt the photograph of a fireplace as an
illustration is something of a curiosity, but this
particular fireplace and the tiles which surround
it will, I hope, recall many pleasant scenes and
conversations to the minds of those of Mr. Dodg-
son's younger friends who used to visit him at
Oxford, and for whose benefit the picture and
the explanation which follows are principally
intended.
25
370 APPENDIX
Lewis Carroll had two ways of explaining the
designs on these tiles — one literal and the other
allegorical.
From the literal standpoint the creature at the
bottom right-hand corner is the Beaver, the only
animal which the Butcher of " The Hunting of
the Snark " knew how to kill—
" Whenever the Butcher was by,
The Beaver kept looking the opposite way,
And appeared unaccountably shy."
At the top right-hand corner is the Eaglet, one
of the competitors in the " Caucus- Race " in
" Alice in Wonderland " ; below it is the Gry-
phon.
The ship in the centre is, of course, that famous
vessel which the Bellman steered, not without
difficulty, for " the bowsprit got mixed with the
rudder sometimes," but —
" The principal failing occurred in the sailing,
And the Bellman, perplexed and distressed,
Said he had hoped, at least, when the wind blew due East,
That the ship would not travel due West ! "
On the left side the two uppermost tiles repre-
sent the Lory and the Dodo, also of " Caucus-
Race " fame ; the lowest is the Fawn which
APPENDIX 37i
couldn't remember its name. ("Through the
Looking Glass," page 63.)
" As I sat on Mr. Dodgson's knee before the
fire," writes Miss Enid Stevens, who has supplied
me with the above particulars, " he used to make
the creatures have long and very amusing conver-
sations between themselves. The little creatures
on the intervening tiles used to * squirm ' in at
intervals. I think they suggested the ' Little
birds are feeding,' &c., in ' Sylvie and Bruno.' '
Mr. Dodgson's allegorical explanation of several
of the pictures — for instance, the bird which is
running its beak through a fish, and the dragon
which is hissing defiance over its left shoulder-
was that they were representations of the various
ways in which he was accustomed to receive his
guests.
INDEX
Abdy, Miss Dora, 229
d'Alcourt, Miss Dorothy, 174
'•Alice in Wonderland," 165,
358 .
" ' Alice ' on the Stage," 163
Animals, Kindness to, 357
B
" Bachanalian Ode, A," 145
Bickersteth, Mrs. Samuel, 222
" Blank Cheque, The," 147,
149
Bodley, G. F., 96, 99
Bowman, Miss Isa, 321
Brook, Rev. A., 267
Bull, Canon, 99
Bulley, Dr., 148
Carlo, Miss Phoebe, 172
" Castle Croquet," The Game
of, 271
Chase, Dr., 147
Chivers Wilson, Mrs., 204
Clarendon Trustees, The 79
89
Clarke, Savile, 164.
Collier Foster, Mrs., 209
Collingwood, B. J., 251
"Cup, The," 219
" Curiosa Mathematica Part
III./' Fragment of, 239
D
" Dear Gazelle, The," 26
" Deserted Parks, The," 92
" Difficulties," 4
Dodgson, Hassard, 364
" Doublets," The Game of, 228,
274
Dubourg, A. W., 161
Dubourg, Miss Evelyn, 229
Duckworth, Canon, 358
" Dynamics of a Parti-cle,
The," 58
Essays and Reviews," 44, 49
Eternal Punishment," 345
373
374
INDEX
" Lanrick," The Game of, 304
" Facts, Figures and Fancies,"
77
" Fatalle Cheyse, Ye," 10
" Fishs," 7
Geometrical propositions, 264
Gilbert, W. S., 188
Gladstone, VV. E., 58, 73, 79,
100
H
Harcourt, Sydney, 172
Hardy, Gathorne, 58, 73, 147
Heathcote, Sir W., 58, 73
Hebdomadal Council, The, 78,
81
" Hints for Etiquette," 33
Horniman, Mrs., 208
" Hunting of the Snark, The,"
167
I
Irving, Sir Henry, 186
" Isa's Visit to Oxford," 321
J
" Jabberwock Traced to its True
Source, The," 365
" Jabberwocky," 37, 364
Jacobson, Bishop, 76, 84
Jowett, Professor, 42, 47, 82, 148
K
Kean, Charles, 186
(> Lays of Sorrow," 12
Lectures, 198
Legend of " Scotland," The, 331
Liddell, Dean, 75, 96
Liddell, Miss Alice, 358
Liddon, Dr., 50, 99, 118, 147
Lind, Miss Jenny, 342
"Logical Paradox, A," 312
Longley, Archbishop, 331
" Love among the Roses," 204
M
Mason, Mrs. Paul, 211
Misch-Masch, 15
"Monkey and Weight Problems,
The," 267
N
" New Belfry, The," 96, 101
" New Method of Evaluation
as Applied to TT, The]" 42
Newman, Cardinal, 215
Nightingale, Miss Florence,
342
"Notes by an Oxford Chiel,"
41
Original Games and Puzzles,"
270
" Palace of Humbug, The," 34
" Photography Extraordinary/'
28
Poems, First lines of —
" Es brillig war. Die schlichtc
Tovcn," 366
INDEX
375
" Heard ye the arrow hurtle
in the sky," 81
" Here's to the Freshman of
bashful eighteen," 145
" Hora'aderat briligi. Nn nc et
Slyihccia Tova," 364
" I dreamt I dwelt in marble
halls," 34
" I never loved a dear gazelle,"
26
" It is the lawyer's daughter,"
221
" Love-lighted eyes, that will
not start," 209
" Museum, loveliest building
of the plain," 92
" Our Willie had been sae
lang awa'," 127
"Seek ye Love, ye fairy-
sprites," 204
" She's all my fancy painted
him," 27
" The day was wet, the rain
fell souse," 12
<• The rain was raining. cheer-
fully," 361
" There were two brothers at
Twyford School," 18
" Yt.te wes a mirke an dreiry
cave," 10 '
" Poetry for the Million," 25
Pusey, Dr., 50, 147
R
Rectory Umbrella, The, 3
Robson, Frederick, 181
Scott, Sir George Gilbert, 99
Sermon, A Children's, 340
' Sixty -four = Sixty-five," 316
'Stage and the Spirit of Re-
verence, The," 175
Stanley, Dean, 43, 50, 148
Stevens, The Misses, 200, 371
( Syzygies," The Game of, 289
T
Terry, Miss Ellen, 220
Terry, Miss Marion, 217
" Three T's, The Vision of the,"
96, 118, 143
"Tom" Quadrangle, Ch. Ch.,
96, 323
" Two Brothers, The," 18
"Vision of the Three Ts, The,"
96, 118, 143 •
" Vulture and the Husbandman,
The," 361
W
Walters, Miss Lucy, 229
" Wandering Burgess, The,"
127
Wayte, Dr., 147
Wilcox, Miss M., 229
"Word- Links," The Game of,
274
Yonge, Miss C. M., 226
York Powell, Professor, 356
"Cbc (Brcsbam press,
UNWIN BROTHERS,
WOKING AND LONDON.
i
Dodgson, Charles Lutwidge
The Lewis Carroll picture
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